“Let’s make this a good fite, Pech!” Jumpropeman waves to the crowd.
“Let’s get this over with.”
“GEZORA AGREES. GET ON WITH IT.”
Pech sweeps his sword up into a mock salute, psylightning crackling down it into the earth around him, grounding itself in a phosphor-bright haze. Properzia, released, shoots forward in a pink blur like the arrow of a Cupid gone rabid, only to fly past the side-stepping space marine. He may be covered in layers of ceramic and built like a Leman Russ battletank, but the psycher can still move like a snake. Properzia squeals as green fire catches in her fur.
Pech swings around, his countless years of war warning him that the obvious threat is rarely the worst. Jumpropeman’s fist proves this right, hammering the marine’s head back as the ghost pops up. Following up on the haymaker with a one-two clobbering, JRM darts around Pech’s head, avoiding the wide sweeps of the sword.
“Learn to wear a helmet!” the ghost shouts the taunt in Pech’s face.
The marine grimaces, and spits a blast of acid-colored fire right into JRM’s face.
Pech does not stop to crack wise. Screaming with pain and fury, he swings the sword in a wide arc, sending a wall of green fire cascading across the arena and into the stands. JRM can barely stay ahead of the twisting psychic assault. It flickers too close, and his left arm is melted into nothing. He turns, twists, finds himself encircled by emerald fire -
Until Properzia steps in.
“You see, ghost? I burnt out its soul, and I’ll do the same to you. Come on out. You can’t hide from me. Coward!
Face me like the man you once were!”
But Pech is met with silence... until he hears something begin to rise behind him. Properzia props herself up, and raises claws sheathed in ghostly energy. Her eyes do not glow; they are instead the solid black of the ghost’s.
“Oh, she’ll be back in fighting shape soon enough, and until then, well, you know what they say, Pech. Possession’s nine-tenths of the law...”
Before Pech can respond, Jumproperzia (as we are now dubbing this possessed creature) leaps forward, her speed boosted to eye-watering levels, and slams her claws into his breastplate. The marine howls and staggers back from the impact. But the fairy armadillo is not done, and begins a long, slow climb up the marine’s torso, using her claws like ice picks. Pech slams his fists against the pink creature’s back in response, crushing it against his chest with a crack of shattered keratin and bone. Properzia responds in both the squeal of an injured armadillo and the yell of pain from a Jingle Spirit, and the small form falls off, prising a chunk of armour away as it descends. A second later, Jumproperzia is flying across the arena, having been drop-kicked by the space marine. The possessed animal lands somewhere in the stands, and the crowd parts like ripples in water.
Pech’s triumphant grin vanishes as Jumpropeman wills the armadillo back into the air, floating menacingly at head height. This time, Pech strikes first, extending his sword and channeling a bolt of green lightning from its tip. Jumproperzia jukes out of the way and lets the strike destroy a hot drugs stand instead, sending needles and powder everywhere. Pech snarls and raises his hand to send bolt of fire, but the fairy armadillo is suddenly in his face.
Literally.
One claw stabs just above the right eye, the river of blood blinding Pech as he is forced to close it. Another gouges a hole in his cheek, exposing the inside of his mouth. The rear claws scrabble at his jaw as Jumproperzia clings to the marine’s face like a furry Facehugger. Pech screams and drops his sword, desperately trying to prise the animal off, but it’s not happening any time soon. The claws begin to stab at his skull, trying to pierce through and end the fight quickly.
Bad move. A corona of green light bursts from Pech, and Properzia is thrown off. Pech’s face is a torn, bloodied mess, a factor not helped by his use of psychic powers, but he wastes no time in following his move with another bolt of lightning. This barely misses, but the heat is enough to scorch the side of the armadillo’s body, leaving charred fur and pink, bubbled flesh behind. Jumpropeman realises a new tack is needed. Hauling Properzia back into action, he begins to dart around Pech, using his supernatural abilities to make his pet move blindingly fast. He doubts the creature’s muscles can keep the act up for long, but it seems to be working – lots of new gouges are appearing in the marine’s armor, and exposed flesh and bodyglove are being torn at. Pech staggers initially, but soon the marine begins to weather the blows and stand still waiting for an opportune moment.
Soon, the possessed armadillo leaps to chest-height, trying to capitalise on the reduced integrity of the armour. This is the manoeuvre Pech has been waiting for. With a single swipe of his sword, he bisects the animal in two, the two halves falling at his feet. He hisses in triumph.
Jumpropeman reappears.
He looks furious.
And you don’t fuck with a ghost when there’s been a ghostplosion. Pech pales as Jumpropeman gathers his energy for the last leg of the fite…
His giant armadillo wrecked beyond use, Jumpropeman decides to up the ante and up his size. The ghost begins growing larger and larger, his red phrygian cap breaking through the cloud of green energy that filled the upper area of the arena.
Pech readied his sword to face the now giant Jingle Specter. Apparently, Jumpropeman thought being big would help him in a fite against someone who can easily hit a much smaller target. Pech charged forward and stabbed the ghost in the chest, leaving a huge gaping hole. The massive time spirit batted the marine away with his left arm, so Pech charged forward again, but the ghost pulled up his tail and let Pech run past. With a quick wave back around, the tail slammed Pech with the proportional strength of a whiptail lizard. Pech flew across the arena, but his psychic powers helped cushion some of the eventual slam against the wall.
Pech turned back around, his already bloody face now punctuated with a nosebleed from both being broken by the impact and the duress of his own psychic powers. Pech focused more on projectile fiting once more, and the clouds surrounding the phantom's head begin to crackle. Jumpropeman looks up at the sparking clouds and begins shrinking to avoid the storm, but then the lightning started striking. Green bolts of psychic energy strike the spirit, causing the ghost to convulse wildly from the blows.
As the specter continued shrinking and getting struck by lightning, Pech begins a dash towards the falling ghost. Channeling psyfire through his blade, Pech aimed upward and unleashes a plume of green flames.
Jumpropeman lit up like the 4th of July and Guy Fawkes Night put together.
And then pops back out of the ground, and Pech tries again, and fails again. And then it happens again. It appears we have a game of Whack-a-Ghost! Pech keeps trying to stomp the ghost, but when he finally does, he finds something out. The ghost is immaterial, so his head goes right up into the boot. Yanking out some foot bones, JRM flies out and drops them in a taunting gesture.
"Let's find out what makes you tick!"
Jumpropeman flies through Pech, who desperately tries to slash the ghost with his blade. The Jingle Specter pops out the other end holding an organ, and drops it to go in for another pass. Jumpropeman flies in and out of Pech, carrying bones, organs, and what appear to be a device and some sort of shard. The spirit tosses all of them to the ground, but finally the marine's sword catches up with him.
The blade slashes off the ghost's tail, causing Jumpropeman to fall to the ground in pain. Pech looks around at his insides spilled on the ground as his internal systems struggle to handle the damage. Blood begins to spill out of Pech's ears as the green haze in the arena grows denser and more intense. Pech readies his blade, but Jumpropeman gets back up and phases into Pech's hand, materializing and snapping the wrist.
Unfortunately for the ghost, the brief materialization let Pech get the shot he needed. Even though he dropped the sword, Pech's psychic powers slammed down into his own wrist a massive bolt of electricity and fire. Pech's hand was decimated, leaving him armless from the shoulder down, but when the green smoke cleared, the distinct blueish-white smoke of Jumpropeman appeared.
"I'm not dying tonight, ghost."
Gezora runs into the arena, carrying a hose to put out the fires the psychic storm had started.
Gezora begins spraying down the arena with alcohol to try and douse the flames. It goes predictably bad, so it just gets the normal hose and sprays the arena down properly.
"Gezora's witty liquid choice goes unrewarded again."
