Fite 58- The King of the Ring

Rain falls from the sky this Saturday evening, greeting a group of eager fiters as they enter an arena suspended hundreds of feet in the air.It might be good that it rains this day, since the ground below the arena was actually a hard obsidian floor that a bloodthirsty fite coordinator hoped would provide some violent deaths in these otherwise nonlethal battle. Thankfully for the competitors, who were promised a safe landing in the event of a ring-out, the area outside the circular arena was now a giant moat.

This battle will not be a test of who can brain each other best, but of who can be the last one standing in the arena. This battle shall determine who is King of the Ring!

Tonight's Fite:

8 of the competitors stand near the center, but our mysterious ninth competitor has yet to show up. While waiting for this anonymous entrant to show up, Purnima seems to pull a tiny red umbrella out of nowhere to shield herself from the downpour. The other entrants seem undeterred by the rain, they were all too focused on the fite ahead of them.

Suddenly, a lightning flash.

The light of the thunderbolt had masked the fiter's arrival, but now Contestant 8 was here. Jonesy let out a huff, and Zephyrus was quick to look away, but most of the competitors looked at Contestant 8 with either surprise or curiosity. Contestant 8 tosses their cape aside, pulling out a sword and standing in a battle stance.

The sound of a gong signals to the fiters that it is time to begin.

Captain Haddock is quick to open the present he was given as a weapon. Tearing into the wrapping paper like a ravenous 3 year old on Christmas, Haddock finds the weapon that Jumpropeman had provided him with.

A jump rope.

Haddock stares at it in disbelief, but the sound of a friendly voice snapped him out of his funk. Zephyrus had approached Haddock, ready for a friendly fite between two competitors. It seemed Zephyrus was trying to keep his mind off of something, and he hopped Haddock could distract him from it. The two began to trade blows, Zephyrus holding back on purpose to try and minimize his damage to the drunken sailor.

Purnima had taken to the air in her Zhuangzi as soon as the match began, and she had good reason to do so. Jonesy had gone straight for her, ready to break the bug open with her brass knuckles.

"Get down here you obese slug and fite me!" Jonesy shouted.

"My dear, I have an extensive knowledge of the tactics warriors use in the battlefield. If you think your taunts can penetrate my defenses, you will only meet with my thick skinned indifference! In battle, every word from an opponent is just an attempt at misdirection and confusion!"

"That sure is a lot of words for 'I am too scared to fite you!'"

"How adorable! You are like a little puppy growling at grizzly bear! You have no idea what this machine can do!" Purnima's machine begins to fire at Jonesy, who easily dodges the explosive shells. Purnima was not trying to hit though. Her ammo exploded as it hit the arena floor, letting loose a myriad of obscure and exotic hallucinogens into the air. And then those hallucinogens are knocked out of the air by pouring rain.

Purnima curses Fate for rendering her weapon ineffective, but the grub in a dress has not given up yet. Relying on the impact force of her ammo instead of its secondary qualities, Purnima continues to try and shoot down Jonesy. What she doesn't notice is that Pit was running down below her, trying his best to get up into her Zhuangzi. Pit would flap his wings a few times to get airborne, but the angel's wings were not strong enough for flight. Pit would have to get her to fly lower, but how...

Meanwhile, Scorpion was grappling with a bunch of dolls. Scorpion had tried to start the fite by picking on Celestia, but he underestimated both her strength and that of her set of six dolls. Scorpion had been knocked to the ground by an ice spell, and now 6 pairs of tiny hands beat the ninja furiously. It really didn't hurt that much, but it bugged the crap out of Scorpion and surprisingly rendered him almost helpless.

Contestant 8 didn't move when the match started. The fiter was expecting people to attack them as soon as it started, but one part of entering anonymously meant many people had already planned who to attack first out of who they knew they could take down. Contestant 8 relaxed, but the sound of thunder made them jump. But then the sound came again and again, and the anonymous fiter could not see the lightning it should be accompanying.

It wasn't thunder. It was Chester's footsteps. His heavy atmospheric diving suit made his approach obvious, but somehow Contestant 8 still thought it was a string of thunder in the stormy sky. Chester approached the Contestant's back and tapped on his foe's shoulder. Contestant 8 whirled around, ramming their sword into the chest of Chester. Chester stumbled back a few steps as a huge cone of energy shot out, but his suit was fucking heavy, so he did not go far. Scrawling a short message out on his slate, he held it up for the anonymous entrant to read.

"You will be my first opponent."

Contestant 8 struck again with the sword, but Chester still hardly moved. He punched forward, his hard metal fist sending Contestant 8 further away than the combined effect of his foe's sword. Chester lumbered towards his opponent slowly. His diving suit would make him near impossible to ring out, but it also made his movement speed ludicrously slow.

Purnima's machine zoomed around the arena as Jonesy ran for her life. Careful to avoid the edges, the space marine had run by all the other opponents. Each of them was too distracted with their own struggle to provide Purnima with a distraction to throw her off of Jonesy's trail. Jonesy was getting tired and frustrated. She hadn't even thrown a single punch and she was already exhausted. Purnima laughed her signature laugh up above. The grub could see the signs of fatigue in Jonesy.

Purnima tugged harder at her levers, pulling in close to Jonesy to increase the accuracy of the ammo. Jonesy was now being hit by the shells square on, and the young woman could no longer even attempt to dodge. Purnima's laugh was deafening, but the worm had not forgotten that her goal was to ring-out her opponent. Purnima lowered her machine to the ground and was ready to lift the battered space marine when Pit jumped up onto her back.

Pit's ambush had caused Purnima to drop her fan and pipe. The many legs of the bug pushed against the young angel, but Pit climbed into the Zhuangzi and began fiddling with the controls. The machine began to fly around erratically, and Purnima could do nothing but bat Pit on the head with her umbrella as she tried to regain control.

Soon, the machine had flown straight out of the arena. Pit pushed forward with all his might on the controls, sending the machine and Purnima down into the water below.

Pit leaped out of the machine at the last second, assuring that the first ring-out of the match was not a double ring-out, but the little angel's wings struggled to carry him back to the arena. Pit just barely reached the edge, the tips of his fingers barely clinging to the wet edge. He tried to pull himself back up, but he kept slipping back down. Luckily, Contestant 8 reached down and pulled him back up.

"Thanks stranger!" said Pit, but the anonymous entrant was quick to get back in a battle stance. "Oh, you want to fite me yourself, huh? I guess you have that whole honor thing going on. Okay, just let me get away from this edge really quick..."

Chester continued his slow march towards his foe, but the much more nimble Contestant 8 had already chosen a new opponent. Chester sighed, and began to survey the arena, seeking another opponent. He saw a ninja being tickled by dolls, a robot holding its punches against a drunkard, and a young lady gasping for breath. He did not like his choices.

Haddock's fite with Zephyrus was beginning to slow down. Zephyrus was no longer focusing on the battle. The robot's eyes watched Contestant 8 as the mysterious competitor was beginning to battle Pit. Haddock noticed the robot's distraction, and chocked it up to his own inability to put up a good fite. The robot was unharmed by the Captain's punches, but the knuckles of the sailor were bloodied from punching metal over and over. Haddock backed off, but then he thought of his jump rope.

Using the toy like a whip, Haddock was able to gain the robot's attention. The jump rope still did no harm to the robot, but it got his attention at least. Zephyrus, however, was not in the mood. He caught the rope in his claw.

"Captain, I don't think I can fite with you anymore right now. I... I need to think." Zephyrus let go of the rope and walked off, leaving the sailor alone in the middle of the arena.

"Billions of billious barbecued blue blistering barnacles! I hope that lad's okay. Who am I supposed to fite now?" The Captain began to wonder around the arena. Jonesy was still recovering from Purnima's onslaught, but she seemed to be doing better now. Haddock began to walk towards her.

Zephyrus was walking towards someone too: Contestant 8. Pit has split his bow prop into two swords, which he was using to lay into the anonymous fiter. Contestant 8 was too focused on trying to dodge to strike back. The blows did little it seemed, but Pit's onslaught was pushing the Contestant back further and further. He didn't need to hurt anyone to win. He just needed to get them out of the arena.

Zephyrus stopped. Worry ran through his body. Would Pit knock out the Contestant before they got a chance to speak? Zephyrus needed answers. This mystery fiter looked too familiar...

Chester had noticed the conflict between Haddock and Zephyrus end, and he was thankful. He wanted a shot at the robot, and Zephyrus's own slow saunter towards Contestant 8 had given Chester ample time to catch up. Chester approached the robot from behind and kicked him right in the robo-ass.

Zephyrus stumbled forward, his ass now dented inwards. The blue robot turned around and realized he was now in a fite, and before Chester could scrawl out a challenge on his slate, the robot's fan blades began to spin. Wind shot forward from Zephyrus's center, blowing rain into Chester's viewing port. The wind got stronger and stronger, but Chester still had not been knocked back an inch. Chester's suit really was that fucking heavy.

One of Pit's swords broke in half as it hit against Contestant 8's helmet, signaling a change in the tide of their fite. Using Pit's brief disorientation from a broken weapon to their advantage, the mystery fiter rammed their sword into the stomach of the angel. It did not puncture skin, but the cone of powerful energy that failed to phase Chester shot out again. The cone was able to send Pit halfway across the large arena, showing just how powerful that knockback really is. Pit landed on his back and quickly grabbed his gut. The impact had bruised him badly, and had made the angel rather nauseous.

As Pit vomited, Contestant 8 closed the distance. Readying the sword once more, the Contestant hit the boy's head this time. This time the force was enough to knock the kid straight out of the arena. Pit had enough air time to regain his composure, allowing him to right himself and begin to flutter back towards the arena. His wings once more failed him though, and he was only able to make it to the edge. Grabbing on with both hands, he had a much better grip than last time.

And just like last time, Contestant 8 was standing above him. Except this time, the fiter did not reach down to help the angel up. They had fought an honorable battle, and it was time to end it. The sword was gently tapped against Pit's scalp, and the huge cone of energy shot forth once more. Pit's wings were too weak to save him this time.

Pit sputtered about in the water as Contestant 8 walked off, ready to find another opponent. The fiter saw Zephyrus trying to blow Chester away, and Chester was walking towards the wind. Chester had just reached Zephyrus and was about to rip out the fanblades when a familiar cone of energy shot Zephyrus across the arena. Contestant 8 nodded apologetically at Chester and went to chase after Zephyrus, who was still sailing through the air and shooting wind out of his chest.

Chester began his lonely march across the arena once more, hoping to find an opponent who would actually commit to a fite! Jonesy was back up and stretching by the time Haddock had reached her.

"Hey lass, you alright?"

"I'm fine. Go bother someone else."

"Excuse me! I just wanted to make sure that bug didn't obliterate ya!"

"Do you really think I'm that weak, Captain?"

Before the Captain could answer, Jonesy had pushed him away.

"You Bugbear! You Philanthropist! I was checking on a lady to see if she was ok, not starting something!"

"This is a fite, you are supposed to start something." Jonesy punctuated her sentence with a punch, and Haddock returned in kind. The two humans began to duke it out, both able to do a whole lot more too each other than they could to their previous opponents.

Scorpion, meanwhile, had finally overpowered the dolls. Standing up and shaking them off like a dog shaking off the rain, Scorpion was ready to actually fite! Scorpion ran forward, dodging balls of ice thrown by Celestia. The motherly mage tried a Fire spell, and the mystical flame did not go far before the rain doused it. She had figured as much, but she had to at least give it a try. Before she could test any other spells, Scorpion had grabbed her by the neck. He began to carry her towards the edge like this, but a strong ball of ice hit a ball of a different type. Scorpion let go and grabbed his nuts.

"I was trying to hit your gut, I swear! If you weren't choking me I could have focused!" Celestia stood near Scorpion, feeling sorry for her actions. Scorpion took her lowered defenses as an opportunity and kicked out, only for a brave Onion Knight doll to jump in the way of the kick. The bonebreaking blow sent the Onion Knight flying out of the arena, but gave Celestia the second she needed to switch from doting mother to fierce warrior.

Scorpion ran off as Celestia fired huge glaciers of ice after him, retrieving her dolls as they chased him around the arena.

Jonesy and Haddock were black and blue and missing a few teeth by now. Haddock had tried to use the jump rope as a whip again, but it met with bloody results. Jonesy grabbed the rope and used it to headbutt the captain, busting his nose. Both fiters were in no shape to continue battering each other. The point of the fite was forgotten between the two, since neither had really made any effort to push the other towards the edge. This was good for another competitor. Looming over them, Chester was ready to score some ring-outs.

Both Jonesy and Haddock received a metallic backhand they never saw coming. Haddock had the good fortune to be sent towards the center of the ring, whereas Jonesy was knocked closer to the edge. Chester trundled over to her, hitting her over and over with his fists as she tried futilely to strike back. Her brass knuckles has broken the Captain up pretty well, but they could only dent the diving suit. Chester lifted his slate, scrawled something on it really quick, and began to smack her with it. Jonesy was too disoriented to realize just how close she was to the edge. One final smack sent her into the drink below.

The ring-out of Jonesy seemed to echo around the arena. Celestia gave up her pursuit to look towards Chester, who was cleaning the blood off his slate. Haddock was stumbling back to get as far away from Chester as possible. Even Scorpion seemed to give a sympathetic look towards the ring-out of the space marine.

"He's invincible!" Haddock screams. "We can't touch him. Everything we try barely phases him. He's like a mountain!"

Celestia walked towards the Captain, the dolls taking time to clean his wounds up a bit. He was in terrible shape from Jonesy's brass knuckles. Scorpion walked towards them too, but he had no ill intent. He saw an insurmountable challenge as well.

"What can we do? Got any crazy spells Celestia?" Scorpion asked. Celestia shook her head.

"None that could move him. Zephyrus's winds are much more powerful than anything I could muster up right now..."

Haddock thanked the little dolls, who tugged curiously at the sailor's jump rope.

"Wait a minute," said Celestia, "I have an idea..."

Chester had turned around and was walking back to the arena's center. The only fiters he could see were Contestant 8 and Zephyrus, who were far off and didn't even appear to be fiting. He started to walk over slowly when he saw Scorpion looking out over an edge. It was almost like he was asking to be pushed over by the diver.

Chester walked over to Scorpion, but before he could reach him, he was assaulted by a Moomba doll. The doll crawled all over him, peppering him with low level spells. Chester's hands fumble about as they try to catch the doll, but the tiny plushie was too nimble for the clunky suit to keep up with. Chester didn't have to deal with it too long though. Scorpion turned around from the edge and did a backflip through the air. Followed by a trail of fire that managed to burn even in the rain, the ninja slammed his legs into Chester, accidentally incinerating the Moomba doll in the process.

Chester stumbled back a few steps. Scorpion's whole body was now on fire, his Inner Flames defying the weather. Scorpion began to punch, kick, and uppercut Chester faster than the diver could comprehend. Chester was moving back slowly but surely. The big diving helmet also prevented Chester from seeing behind him. Near the edge, Celestia and Haddock were kneeling, the jump rope pulled taut between them. Chester was moving closer and closer to the rope, but suddenly he struck back.

Although Celestia was the one who meant to hit it earlier, it was Chester who managed to strike Scorpion in the gut. The ninja had the wind knocked out of him, and the Inner Flames seemed to dissipate too. Chester's boots were just inches away from the the rope...

The Cait Sith doll knew what it had to do. Climbing up onto Chester, it repeated the Moomba's method of assault. Cait Sith was much slower though, although it had surprised Chester, he was able to grab it.

Luckily, the surprise was enough to send Chester back that final step. Throwing Cait Sith away in surprise, the "invincible" Chester Marlowe began to fall backwards due to purple glittering jump rope.

Chester fell into the water below, returning to the water he had no doubt been in countless times before. Celestia and Haddock cheered, Scorpion managing a slight hurrah as he regained his composure.

One end of the arena was full of cheers, but the other was quite the opposite.

"...Sine? Is that you?" Zephyrus stared at Contestant 8, a mixture of sadness and anger boiling inside him.

Contestant 8 said nothing. The mystery fiter only stared.

"If that is you... why did you come back? Why are you here to fite? Is that all you want? And if that isn't you... How dare you wear that armor! What are your trying to do?"

Still no answers. Contestant 8 held their sword at their side, not ready to fite or to talk.

"Answer me! ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!!"

Zephyrus's cooling vents steamed vehemently, and his fanblades began to spin as fast as they could. The robot could not contain his fury. Whoever Contestant 8 was, Zephyrus was going to teach them a lesson for toying with his emotions.

Contestant 8 began to move, because that was the only way they could have avoided being immediately blown out of the arena. The mystery fiter was doing their best to charge towards Zephyrus, to try and get so close they could perhaps end the tornado that now erupted from the machine's chest.

Zephyrus's eyes seemed to cry due to the rain. His chassis was beginning to crack and fracture as the blades spun faster than they were ever made to do so. Zephyrus let out a chilling scream, a mix of woe and wrath. Contestant 8 could not stay on the ground any longer facing these hurricane level winds. Contestant 8 was knocked up and sent out of the arena. A brief sound escaped Contestant 8, but Zephyrus drowned out whatever it was.

The sound was enough to give Zephyrus pause. His fan stopped, and he looked up, seeing the form of Contestant 8 drifting off into the distance. Zephyrus sat down on the ground, emotionally and physically drained. He would rejoin the other fiters soon, but he needed time to think about what he just did.

The others had seen Zephyrus's unique ring-out, but they also realized that now there were four left, they could no longer work together. Scorpion was all too eager to betray the brief alliance. Scorpion charged towards Captain Haddock, seeking an easy ring-out in the battered sailor.

"You Sarsaparilla! I just..." before Haddock could finish, Scorpion had grabbed Haddock by the arm and swung him around. Celestia's dolls tried kicking at Scorpion's legs as he spun around with the Captain, but the diminished force was unable to reproduce their effect from earlier. Celestia was worried she would hurt the Captain if she tried any magic, so she picked up Haddock's jump rope and began whipping Scorpion with it.

The sting of the whipping was enough to make Scorpion let go, Haddock flew towards the edge, but he managed to catch himself before he could slip off. He stood up, ready to retaliate, but he wouldn't get the chance. Scorpion was coming right towards him, ready to repeat his backflip kick from earlier. Celestia panicked, and in her attempt to stop Scorpion's charge, she let out a huge charge of her own. A Thunder charge.

She had hoped to shock Scorpion a bit, give him pause while Haddock moved away from the edge. But in the rainstorm, Thunder's power was amplified. A Thunder bolt large enough to be Thundaga slammed down, sending all three fiters flying. Celestia and Scorpion were sent further back into the ring, but Haddock was too close to the edge...

The Thundaga bolt shook the entire arena, grabbing Zephyrus's attention. He stood up and prepped his claw and cannon. With just three fiters left, it was time for him to get serious.

Celestia had been knocked unconscious by the strength of the lightning. Her three remaining dolls, Pupu, Moogle, and Cactuar, were trying their best to resuscitate her. They even tried CPR, but since Cactuar was the only one with a mouth, and they couldn't even breath anyway, it did nothing.

Scorpion, on the other hand, was quite conscious. The thunder had hit him hard, but his was the same guy we saw on fire earlier. He could take some lightning every now and then. Scorpion walked over to Celestia and began kicking her towards the nearest edge. He was strong enough to push her around, but he was much too tired to just lift her and drop her in the water. Besides, those little dolls were trying to cause him trouble again, kicking and punching and such.

If he had been left alone, Scorpion would have just kicked Celestia right over the edge. The black mage had lucked out today though. Zephyrus walked right up towards Scorpion and clamped his claw around the ninja's neck. The robot prepared to pitch Scorpion directly into the water, but Scorpion grabbed onto the robot's chest fan and began pulling on it. To prevent himself from losing those very helpful fanblades, Zephyrus used his free arm to to pummel the ninja.

Scorpion had weathered a few hits before an idea popped into his head. Zephyrus begins to feel his feet melt as Hellfire begins to shoot out from underneath him. Zephyrus lets go of Scorpion so that he can free himself from the otherworldly flames. As Zephyrus tries to free his feet from the fire, Scorpion teleports behind his opponent and grabs both of the robot's arms. Zephyrus struggles against his foe's grip, but he can do nothing as the ninja begins to kick the vulnerable robot in the back repeatedly.

The already weakened chassis of Zephyrus begins to give way, but that is when Zephyrus remembers a new design feature. Shooting out of the back off his feet, his sharp "raptor toes" dig into the flesh of Scorpion as he is between kicks. Scorpion lets go of the arms and tries to back away, but the sharp "toes" have hooked into his flesh. Zephyrus tries to attack while Scorpion is vulnerable, but since the ninja is now stuck behind him, he is unable to do much besides club Scorpion's head with his claw.

Celestia begins to stir as Scorpion frees himself and backs away. Zephyrus turns around and is ready to use his fan to blow another opponent away, but he is distracted. Seeing Celestia getting up has made him falter just the tiniest bit, giving Scorpion the moment he needed to begin another string of attacks. Celestia stands up and sees what is going on. She walks off, making sure there is a safe distance between her and the battle, and lets loose another Thunder spell.

This time, she accounted for the increased strength of the spell, targeting it only so it would hit Scorpion. Scorpion is knocked forward by the thunderbolt, landing right on top of Zephyrus. Zephyrus quickly bucks Scorpion and pulls himself to his feet. Scorpion sails over the edge, but a rope shoots out of Scorpion's palm. Hooking into the Zephyrus's body, Scorpion is able to swing himself back into the arena. Both fiters are dangerously close to the edge now though. Celestia is facing a moral conflict. She could use Thunder and ring them both out, but she doesn't want to take out Zephyrus with such a cheap shot.

Scorpion and Zephyrus are both careful near the edge. Zephyrus tries to spin his fan, but Scorpion quickly teleports behind him. Zephyrus turns around and is ready to clamp his claw around the ninja, but then he sees Scorpion rip his own face off. Scorpion's skull grins as Zephyrus looks on in shock. The skull opens its mouth, letting loose a torrent of flames.

Zephyrus falls into the water below. Celestia's moral dilemna was now over, and she quickly unleashes a powered up Thunder spell. Scorpion, who is now fumbling as he tries to put his face back on, is hit straight on. Strangely, since he was hit directly, the knock back of the other strikes is not present. Being in the exact middle has spared Scorpion from being knocked out instantly. Celestia tried to ready another spell, but found out she was out of MP.

The three remaining dolls looked at Celestia. Realizing she was out of magic power had disheartened her, but the three dolls quickly cheered her up by showing they still had some magic in them. Meanwhile, Scorpion had recovered from the lightning bolt and put his face back on. Seeing how far away he was from Celestia, he could only think of one way to close the distance.

"GET OVER HERE!!!"

The rope shot out once more, but the loud scream of Scorpion had alerted Celestia to its arrival. Scorpion's rope had hooked into something and pulled it over to him, but it was not what he expected. Instead of bringing the black mage over, he had hooked one of the dolls. Scorpion looked down in disbelief as he realized he had hooked himself a handful of Pupu.

The Pupu is not quite as shocked. Instead, it had wanted this exact thing to happen. The Pupu doll used all of its own magic might to shoot a spray of ice into Scorpion's face.

Scorpion's face was now frozen solid, and Scorpion made sure the doll paid for it. Without being able to see what he was doing, he began to tear the Pupu to shreds.

Celestia and her two remaining dolls began to close the distance on their own. Scorpion was unable to see or hear them now that his head was entombed in ice, and he couldn't even pull off his face again due to this predicament. Scorpion was pounding on his head with both his hands, trying his best to free himself. Celestia could not help but laugh at Scorpion's plight.

The ninja was quick to come up with a solution though. He got down on his knees and began to bang his frozen face against the arena floor. The ground soon cracked the ice, chunks of it breaking off as Celestia finally arrived to the ninja. Before she could begin to attack him though, the ice around his face completely shattered. Celestia backed up a bit, afraid of an instant retaliation from the ninja now that he could see, but he kept his face low to the ground.

The last slam against the ground may have broke the ice, but it also gave him a mouthful of water. Water that had been on the arena floor since the beginning of the fite. Water that Purnima had tainted with her drug-filled ammo. Scorpion sputtered and spit it out almost immediately, but the drugs began to do what drugs do: make you go crazy, yo.

Scorpion looked up at Celestia. She was frightened of what he might do, but she believed her two dolls could finish him off. The Moogle and the Cactuar dolls both readied their spells.

Scorpion didn't see this happening though. This is what he saw.

Scorpion quickly pulled himself to his feet, and he began to run off, screaming. Celestia had no clue how to react to this unusual turn of event. The two dolls ceased trying to cast their spells, looking just as confused as Celestia. Scorpion ran to the edge of the arena, looked back his opponent, and said, "Screw it."

Scorpion dove down into the water below.

Scorpion swam as fast as he could in the water, trying to get as far away from the flummoxed mage and her two tiny dolls as possible.

Looks like Celestia has defied our title's inherent sexism! Celestia is the QUEEN of the Ring! Just wait a bit to tell that to her though, she is still very confused about what just happened...