Fite 43- Hell Hath No Fury Like These Two Bastards (Jaxx vs. Sister Alice)

Okay everyone, we can't put this fite off anymore. For the benefit of the crowd, we have constructed large protective steel walls between the stands and the arena. We've done our best to protect the audience, referee, and our host. Enchantments have been cast, shamans have been bribed, symbols and wards have been placed. Tonight, we can only hope the fite stays within the confines of the arena, or else we all might be forced to go through a living hell.

These precautions are being taken because of tonight's two fiters, their destructive powers, and their all around apathy towards everyone who is here to witness the battle. One of them is Jaxx, a Sentinel whose powers pretty much go as far as he tries to push them. He brought with him two Berettas, but we doubt he'd even need two guns to kill anyone we could put in front of him.

His opponent for the evening is a blind nun. But not just any blind nun, Jaxx shall be fiting Sister "Black" Alice, a nun whose powers are mostly a mystery but she has been known to freak everyone out. She refused weapons, which makes us fear her even more, for she must have some trick up her sleeve if she is relying on her own strength and power to fite such a powerful foe.

But let us get this over with so we can go huddle in a corner and cry sooner rather than later. People, I am afraid to present for you the fite between Jaxx and Sister Alice. Time for you two to Fite Yer' Mate!

Sister Alice is standing in the middle of the arena, her blind eyes moving about but not seeing anything. Jaxx is leaning against one of the reinforced walls of the arena, smoking the last bit of an odd smelling cigarette. Looking directly at the nun, he takes a moment to try and see if she was readying any trickery. People seemed to always want to take him down because they had something to prove, so now he was wondering why this nun challenged him.

"What otherworldly shit are you smoking, you cowardly prick? Why don't you just land the first blow already, or are you afraid of a brittle old lady?" By the way, we forgot to mention: Viewer Discretion is Advised. These two competitors are pottymouths! The nun taunts the Sentinel, causing Jaxx to smoke the rest of the drug in an instant and began a slow walk over to the old lady. Sister Alice crosses her arms as Jaxx casually approaches her.

Jaxx walks right up to the old lady, until they are almost face to face. Neither of them moves for a while, Jaxx staring down the old woman, while Sister Alice stared right through him with her unseeing eyes. Jaxx felt a great pressure on his mind, but ignored it.

Jaxx jams his hand right into Sister Alice, but does not form a wound. He is not trying to hurt the nun's body, he's aiming for her soul, trying to reach into the abstract part of her that would house her spirit. His hand pops out of the other end grasping... Nothing.

"Looking for a soul?" Sister Alice laughs, and grabs Jaxx's arm, her fingernails digging into the flesh like iron claws... because apparently they are iron claws! Jaxx tries to pull his arm out of her, but it appears trapped in its abstract tomb after it failed to grasp a nonexistent soul. The fingernails tear flesh from the Sentinel's arm, but the pain seemed less than it should have been, even for a being so accustomed to it like Jaxx. Alice, though, seemed to be bending over in pain. She was absorbing some of the pain... but why?

"You think you got it tough, you overconfident brat? You've made your own bed, but I absorb the emotions of everyone around me, and I know exactly how to get into that sad excuse of a brain you have." Sister Alice takes his arm out of her body and jams her own arm into Jaxx's chest. Unlike Jaxx though, she doesn't have the ability to pluck souls from people's chests, so she ends up making a rather large, bloody hole in the man's solar plexus. She grasps one of his celiac ganglia, causing the Sentinel to wheeze as if the wind was knocked out of him.

"I know every fucked up thing you've done, boy, and I'm not impressed." Sister Alice begins slitting nerve fibers with her razor sharp nails, but Jaxx reaches towards the nun's arm. Holding the wrinkled wrist still, Jaxx brings his other hand down in a chop, severing the flesh and muscle up to a point, where his hand hits something.

"You have metal bones too, you cocky bitch?" Jaxx, instead of breaking the iron-like bone, bends it backwards so her hand pointed towards herself. The nun quickly kicked Jaxx in the naughty bits, causing him to let go and back off. Sister Alice tugged at the irregularly bent arm, but it appeared stuck in its odd new position. It's at this point that Jaxx draws his two pistols and opened fire on the old woman.

A couple bullets go into her habit and seem to disappear, but she quickly dodges the others with a quick forward burst of speed. She ends up right in front of Jaxx, and she exploits his brief moment of surprise to knock both pistols out of his hands. Black blood oozed out from within her habit, and veins on her head visibly throbbed from the duress of absorbing both of their pain and from the stress of moving so quickly. In fact, one of the veins on her forward seemed to be leaking a bit of thick black blood...

And then is when her empathic power lost its hold. The thoughts of almost one third of New York flowed into Jaxx's mind, causing him to stumble to the ground from the sudden mental assault. Sister Alice seemed a bit calmer now that the emotions of others where shared with her opponent, but unfortunately, Jaxx is not the only one to feel the effects. Members of the audience begin to cringe as the thoughts flow into their minds. It figures we didn't prepare well enough to block all of their powers...

Sister Alice goes to Jaxx, who is lying prone on the ground. Rather than going for some easy kill though, she begins to lecture him!

"You think you are pretty hot shit, don't you Jaxx? You always go around like you own the place because you tell a bunch of stories to spook the only people who would ever even consider calling you a friend. And what do you do to back up these stories? You get floored by a midget knight with an eating disorder and get your mind raped by a sheep with a hook. You get fucked over by the fat little girl who thinks she is the cutest thing god ever shat out, but you have the gall to act like everyone is alive because you said so.

You are easier to hurt than a legless puppy in a pit of needles. Your mind is just a paradise of angsty trash and you balance it out by telling everyone you don't give a shit, but in your head you bawl worse than a burning orphan. You build yourself up as a badass because you know we know you aren't all that, and then you go ripping people's souls out to prove you ain't got a tiny dick.

You killed god? Whoop dee fucking doo. Half the people I know have killed stronger beings, beings who could kill you without even trying. You sit around telling gross out stories of conquests like a 7 year old eating worms: You just want the fucking attention. One day you'll grow up and realize you are just an overcompensating wart on this universe's hide and do us the favor of blowing your own brains out."

Jaxx appeared to be on the verge of tears. Wait... he is crying! Holy crap! Someone has done the impossible! Someone had made Stonewall Jaxx cry!

Wait, Jaxx is standing up. He wipes away the few tears that did form and looks down at the ground, his eyes obscured by darkness.

Sister Alice readies to lay on more insulting and curse-riddled sentences when Jaxx's arm juts out and rips her jaw off. Her dark blood drips from the wound like molasses as Jaxx tosses her jaw off to the side and looks back up.

"You talk too much."

The thoughts of others still flowed through both of their heads. Banal thoughts about crushes and inside jokes are counteracted by the pains of traumatized victims of horrid crimes. It seemed, though, that both of them had learned to handle the extreme burden of carrying other people's thoughts in their heads. The crowd, of course, is another story, but our two competitors stood in the arena, motionless after Jaxx removed the nun's jaw.

Jaxx walks slowly towards her and then grabs the oddly bent hand, shaping it back to normal and shaking it mockingly.

"I have to hand it to you, you old broad. You sure know how to bore me. Your long-winded speech, did you plagiarize that? I've been getting shit like that for centuries, and just because you found out a new way to fuck with my head doesn't mean your rant is going to do any more to me than they did. By the way, I didn't cry because of your meaningless words. I cried because you smell like a shit-soaked onion."

Jaxx lets go of the arm and slugs the nun right in the face. Sister Alice is launched across the arena into one of the metal walls. Jaxx is quickly beneath her, catching her before she fell and jamming both of his arms into her stomach. Jaxx bends vital bones out of shape, but the nun seems unperturbed. She kicks off her shoes and jabs them forward, her surprisingly long toenails matching the sharpness of the nails on her fingers.

The nails tear holes into Jaxx's abdominals, causing his grip on the nun's bones to weaken enough for her to kick herself out of his grasp. She fell to the ground, the habit barely covering the obviously gaping wound now present in her midriff. Jaxx's Berettas reappear in his hands, and he begins unloading clips of ammunition into the nun on the ground.

The jawless old woman trembles from all the pain, but she is not done yet. She gathers her remaining strength and leaps up onto Jaxx. Her claws dig once more into his chest, which she tears open in a gory display. Ribs are heard cracking as the nun opens up Jaxx's midsection like she was about to perform a back alley open heart surgery on him. Jaxx cringed but still seemed able to stand despite the gallons of blood they both have lost in this fite.

The sister begins tearing apart organs with her claws, but Jaxx just smirks. He reaches out and grabs the nun's legs and yanks them off. "Hope that didn't give that fucking ghost host some sort of jollies," says Jaxx as he discard the legs and watches the nun fall off him and onto the ground. He jabs his fingers into her back and lifts her up.

"It's been a wonderfully boring time, you insufferable geezer, but I think its time to stop making these audience members puke from having to see your dry ass face." Jaxx begins to pull the nun apart, and as he does so, the blind eyes of the nun somehow seem to lose the light they never really had. Members of the audience feel relief from the pain her loose empathic powers inflicted on them as black blood begins spurting from the nun's habit. Jaxx is pulling the nun in two, and even against the metallic bones, he seems to have no trouble accomplishing the act.

Jaxx tosses aside the two halves of the nun, since he's been tossing her other parts to the side and might as well keep up the trend now that he's won the fite. Jaxx is about to leave the arena to do something about that gaping hole in his chest when Gezora stops him.

Its voice sounds oddly like Sister Alice's...

"You may have been able to beat me, but we both know the truth behind your life. If you had any guts you would just rip your own soul out right now and make everyone's life better, but we both know that cowardice plagues your mind like AIDS plagues Africa. This sad excuse for a referee is more brave than you. The moment your powers fail you, you end up retreating into the false belief that you can't die in hopes that believing it will make it true. One day you will get your comeuppance, and I'll be laughing my ass of when you do."

Whatever controlled Gezora left it, as did the nun get-up he briefly had inexplicably worn. Sister Alice released the cuttlefish, her last message to her opponent being delivered.

Fite 42- Bringing a Bug to a Knife Fight (Widow Maker vs. Red Spy)

Are you ready? Because it's time for another fite!

Tonight in the arena, two longtime friends shall be fiting to see which one is stronger. Initially united in their tendency to vote on the losing Zoofighter, the two formed a bond and became close pals. Tonight, in our arena, they shall fite to the death to see which of them is stronger. Will it be the 8 foot tall mantis Widow Maker, who is able to wield a knife despite her anatomy? Or will it be the Red Spy, who has fought in so many battles that he's learned to expect anything?

Tonight we shall answer that question! Widow Maker and RedSpy, it's time to Fite Yer' Mate!

Both competitors come out swinging! Swinging their knives, of course. Widow Maker jabs and slashes towards her opponent, but the Red Spy is agile and able to dodge under the large mantis's arms. Red Spy tries to get a quick slice into Widow Maker's underbelly, but two of the mantid's legs kick the spy back out from under her. Red Spy is quickly back on his feet though and strafing around Widow Maker, whose large eyes help her keep track of her much swifter foe.

Realizing he couldn't get behind Widow Maker unseen because of her huge compound eyes, the spy enables his cloaking. The spy's watch turns him completely invisible, and Widow Maker quickly takes to the skies so she isn't stabbed in the back. Widow Maker hovers, waiting for the Spy's cloaking to falter or fade from overuse. The Spy decloaks outside of the mantis's view, and assesses the situation. His opponent is too high for him to hurt, so he'd have to hurl his knife.

So that is what he did. The Spy's knife sails through the air. A split second before the knife hits Widow Maker, she is able to see it. She begins to dodge, but that does not prevent the knife from making contact with her body. The knife, aimed at the back of the mantis's head, now tore through a wing instead, messing up the insect's ability to fly. Widow Maker managed to land herself despite the crippled wing and removes the knife from it with her free foreleg. Now wielding both her own knife and the Red Spy's knife, Widow Maker charged toward the spy, swinging the knives in a flashy display.

The spy is able to dodge in time to prevent himself from being skewered by the two knives, but one knife manages to slash a huge gash into his left arm. Grasping at the injury to suppress the bleeding, the Red Spy once more engages his cloaking. Widow Maker sweeps forward with her two long raptorial legs, but hits nothing. The Spy had already moved elsewhere.

Widow Maker begins surveying the arena in hopes of finding some clue to her balaclava-wearing foe's whereabouts, when she finds precisely just that. The Spy's bleeding arm leaves a dotted red path along the arena floor, and Widow Maker's eyes follow it to its destination...

When Widow Maker finds the end of the trail she finds herself facing Gezora. TWO Gezoras. It appears the Red Spy has disguised himself as the referee!

"Oh great, are we really going to do the whole, 'Which one is the real one' thing?" asks Widow Maker, frustrated to see a cliche in the middle of the battle.

Gezora and the other Gezora both look at each other in surprise and begin squabbling.

"I'm the real Gezora!"

"No, I'm the real Gezora!"

"I'm Gezora!"

"I'm Gezora!"

"I'm Tom Lincoln!"

"No, I'm Tom Lincoln!"

"Wait, what?" Both Gezoras look at each other in confusion after their argument veered into allusion territory. But this little back and forth gave Widow Maker the information she needed.

The genre savvy mantis noticed that Gezora was using personal pronouns, something it almost never did, but the unique circumstances warranted that both the real Gezora and its imposter would have to resort to using them. The damning evidence was the allusion to "The Island". Gezora didn't seem to be like the type to pay enough attention to a Michael Bay film's dialogue to quote it, while the Red Spy would definitely be someone who would pay attention to every detail of something. She knew which one was the imposter.

With a quick flick of whatever a praying mantis's wrist equivalent would be called, Widow Maker hurled The Big Earner knife towards the Gezora who strayed into referencing a movie from 2005. The knife dug into face of the cuttlefish referee, but something was wrong... That wasn't the Red Spy. Gezora had been around since earlier Zoofights that had taken place in the future, so the real cuttlefish ref had ample time to see The Island. Red Spy, however, had never even heard of the film!

"Gezora thought... the allusion... would make the exchange more comical..." The real Gezora fell to the ground, the knife having down quite a number on it. Red Spy turns back to normal and tries to pull his knife out of the fainted referee. While he wrestles it out of the referee's cuttlebone, Widow Maker cloaks herself. When the Spy frees his knife, he turns around, ready to resume the battle!

Of course, all he sees is an empty arena. He quickly tries to use his own cloaking watch so that they both could hide behind the veil of invisibility, but Widow Maker quickly reappears right in front of him, kicking him back with her middle legs while stabbing forward with Your Eternal Reward.

Apparently your eternal reward is a broken cloaking watch. The Spy's watch sputters as it breaks, and for some reason it leaves only the Spy's torso cloaked. His limbs appeared to float as they reflexively grabbed the huge mantis and threw her to the ground. The Big Earner came slamming down, but Widow Maker blocks the blow with her own knife. Righting herself, the two begin fencing with their daggers, despite the fact that it would probably be a lot easier on both of them if they didn't.

A woozy referee pulls itself into a sitting position so it can resume watching the fite. Gezora looks up just in time to see both competitors lash out with their free arms during their fencing bout. RedSpy manages to snap the forearm that his opponent held her knife in, but Widow Maker also manages to inflict a nasty wound on the Spy's dominant hand with her free raptorial arm. Both fiters drop their knives from their respective wounds, but they quickly recover them with their uninjured arms.

Now both competitors faced each other with their dominant arms crippled. Who can adapt better to this situation?

It seems the unexplainable knife-wielding dexterity of Widow Maker's primary hand is not carried over to her southpaw. The mantis's forearm clutched Your Eternal Reward oddly, and her performance suffered for it. The Red Spy seemed to have no issue switching his knife-wielding hand, and besides a slightly weaker lunge, he seemed unperturbed.

The female mantis struggled to keep up with her human foe, the battle turning more and more one-sided by the second. The Big Earner tore bits off of her exoskeleton effortlessly, and her return attacks never even made contact. Things were seeming hopeless for the eight foot tall mantis, but then the insect realized something and felt the sudden need to faceclaw. She's an eight foot tall mantis! A dinky knife isn't her only way to attack!

Widow Maker tackles the Red Spy, pushing down on him with four of her six legs. With the speed of a sudden realization, the mantis's southclaw firmly grips the knife and slams it down towards the spy's face. Red Spy is barely able to wiggle out of the way of a fatal facelift, but the knife manages to catch on a bit of his balaclava.

"This is interesting, we've never seen your face before... But I know better than to fall for that. Anytime someone removes a mask or uncovers a hidden face in Fite Yer' Mates, it ends badly for them." Widow Maker shakes the knife loose, but the Spy's legs begin kicking at her abdomen, surprising her. The RED team member uses the moment to grab Widow Maker's legs and pull them out from under her. Widow Maker falls, and her face slams into the Red Spy's face.

The mantis's mandibles painfully dig into the Spy's chin, but the mantis's huge exposed eyes get injured from being slammed right into the very solid face of the Red Spy. Widow Maker tries to pull back in pain, but her mandibles are tangled in the balaclava now. The two stand back up, locked in what looked like a passionate french kiss. The french spy found it rather amusing to be in such a situation, but he also found his feet dangling above the ground. The height difference meant this situation allowed Widow Maker to hoist him into the air with her mouth alone.

Widow Maker began desperately trying to stab her foe with her knife, but he wiggled about on her mandibles enough to avoid the blade. The close proximity also aided the spy, since now he could easily jab forward with the knife and make contact. Widow Maker quickly realizes she'd be a lot better off without a trained assassin dangling from her face and quickly begins to shake him off.

The Spy is thrown off of the bug's mouth, but his balaclava is now tattered. Luckily, he has a spare with him, and he quickly places it on his head without removing the torn one. But while he reaches into his still invisible suit to get the replacement balaclava, he also grabs two other things. One he fastens to his invisible torso, making whatever that object was invisible as well. The other object is a paper mask with Widow Maker's face. A small smoke cloud appears around him as the RedSpy disguises himself as Widow Maker.

What purpose could this serve? Is he trying to hide his weakspots by assuming an unconventional form? Is he trying to psyche Widow Maker out by making it look like she would be fiting herself? Whatever the reason, the two Widow Makers begin circling each other, each gripping their knives in the same manner.

One of the Widow Makers quickly lunges forward, and the other is barely able to hop over the blow. The dodging mantis darts forward, causing her (or his!) opponent to backpeddle away. The two Widow Makers briefly collide, and the flickering disguise of the Spy is momentarily disrupted, but by the time they are out of the tumble, its impossible to make out which one is which!

One of the Widow Makers again lashes out, but the opponent smacks the knife out of its hand. The knife goes flying up into the air as the armed one tries to quickly sneak behind the other's back. The unarmed one quickly retaliates by diving out of the way of an almost successful backstab. A single backstab with either of these knives would spell instant doom for the victim!

The unarmed Widow Maker quickly scurries around, trying to position itself in a good spot between where it thinks the knife will land and where its opponent currently is. The armed Widow Maker lunges forward, abandoning sneak attacks in favor of just stabbing its opponent's face. The unarmed Widow Maker starts to flee, trying to avoid the sharp blade of its opponent's dagger. Up in the air, the other knife has finished its parabolic and rather lengthy arc and is returning back to Earth thanks to the helping hand of our good friend gravity.

Unfortunately for its owner, the knife did not land quite as expected... Being forced to take the defensive, the unarmed Widow Maker was forced to go directly into the path of the falling knife!

The knife plunges into the head of the Widow Maker, but which one is it? Is it the disguised spy, or the real mantis?

"Please tell me we won't do some unnecessary cliffhanger here," quips the Widow Maker who doesn't have a knife in its head.

The Widow Maker that does have a knife in the head... begins to flicker.

It was Red Spy! The spy's death causes the costume to fade, as well as the residual effects of the broken cloaking watch. It is at this point that Widow Maker gets to see what the RedSpy had attached to his chest earlier...

It appeared to be some sort of book with a face chewing on a bomb on the cover...

Wait.

It's the Bombinomicon.

The RedSpy's death activated the book's bomb. The spy blows apart into an array of gibs, but Widow Maker was much too close to her fallen foe for her own good. The explosion hits Widow Maker as well, and her exoskeleton is torn apart by the blast. The mantis falls to the ground.

Is she...?

Widow Maker stands back up weakly. Her entire front was badly burned and parts of her sides were as well, but the mantis survived the final attack of the spy. She manages to weakly speak.

"Let's get someone to heal me... and someone to revive what's left of the Spy..."

Gezora is quick to interrupt this request though.

"Why should we? RedSpy thought he could be Gezora, so Gezora shall just be RedSpy from now on!"

"How does it feel to have someone disguised as you, Spy!"

Widow Maker looks weakly towards the referee. "I don't think he's in the state to answer you... and I'm surprised you went for this with your post-fite silliness. You must be pretty hurt about the whole 'mistaken identity' part of this fite."

"Gezora is hurt both physically and mentally from it!"

Fite 41- The Wind in the Giant Monster Willows (Zephyrus vs. Biollante)

Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen! Today is the last of the arena fites, and it will be taking place on a serene wind farm in Texas. Let's go to our last on-site correspondent, Professor Nathan Cardinal.

"Thank you for the introduction, and welcome to the Roscoe Wind Farm! Here at the Roscoe Wind Farm, we hold the record for both the largest capacity of a wind farm and the highest amount of turbines! With 627 high powered turbines, we are able to churn out over 780 megawatts of energy daily! Wind energy is the answer to America's energy crisis! With a more ecological and-"

*BOP!*

Gezora silences the overeager professor with a quick bop on the head.

"I'm sorry, I got a bit carried away! I'm just so proud of what we've accomplished here. Another great aspect of this wind farm is that it shall serve as the arena to two amazing fiters! One is a giant kay-joo, am I saying that right? A giant plant monster named Biollante. The other competitor in tonight's bout is a robot who used to go by the name Air Man. He now goes by the moniker Zephyrus, and has quite a few upgrades! Well, this seems like it will be exciting! Due mostly to the setting, the Roscoe Wind Farm, located in beautiful-"

Ok, enough of that guy. Like he said, Zephyrus shall be fiting Biollante. Zephyrus will be bringing his Ultima Weapon to the battle, a sword powered by the souls of 6 of his fallen robot brothers. Biollante has brought an assistant, a spacecraft from the planet Mars! These two fought a while back as Air Man and the Necronomitron, let's see which one of these fiters is superior now! It's monster vs. machine here tonight folks! Zephyrus and Biollante, prepare to Fite Yer' Mate!

Zephyrus arrives on the wind farm to a flurry of flamboyant fanfare. Zephyrus definitely has a lot of support in tonight's fite! But that's not to say Biollante doesn't have support! The giant plant monster is already in the arena, and with a loud roar it sends the crowd into a frenzy.

This fite is ON!!!

Biollante's tendrils shoot out towards Zephyrus as the martian spacecraft hovers above. Zephyrus easily dodges the tendrils, slicing a few off with his sword as he runs towards the giant kaiju. Biollante roars in pain as tendrils are lopped off, and the spacecraft is quick to react. From the antenna atop the UFO a heat ray is fired. Zephyrus tries to dodge the ray, but the mechanical spaceship has a lot better aim than a massive plant monster. Zephyrus can feel his circuits melting, but he quickly aims his fan up towards the martian spacecraft and sends a blast of wind upwards.

Wind turbines around the farm spin so fast their blades snap off. The spacecraft itself struggled to hover in place, but the tornado from the robot's chest is too powerful. The spacecraft is blown away, but one of Biollante's tendrils quickly grabs it to prevent it from being blown out of the farm. Zephyrus uses the distraction of the tornado to close the distance between himself and the massive monster. Once he gets in close, Zephyrus begins to run the blade around the base of Biollante.

Another painful roar accompanies the next action of Biollante. The beast begins to lean forward onto the robot master, putting all of its weight onto the much smaller robot. Zephyrus tries to flee, but he is not quick enough. The kaiju's entire weight comes down on him, and his chassis groans under the pressure. Zephyrus does take the moment to jab his opponent with both the Ultima Weapon and his claw arm though. Zephyrus does manage to hurt his much bigger opponent, but he is still being utterly destroyed by the weight of the monster.

So once again, the robot relies on his fan. The fan starts spinning faster and faster, but it is dented from the crushing weight of the kaiju. It won't be able to generate enough wind power to lift Biollante!

"Oh my! It looks like it might already be over! That robot with the fan in its chest has been under the beast for quite a long time, and I can't see it getting the plant thing off of it! Actually, I'm curious. How does that robot's power work? Perhaps we can recycle its fan and use it to power the turbines here..."

Zephyrus realizes he will not be able to get the monster off of him, so he does the next best thing. Zephyrus begins tunneling out from underneath Biollante. Using his claw for quick digging, Zephyrus is able to swiftly get him out from under the beast's weight. Biollante tries to pull herself back up to resume fiting, but Zephyrus is able to hop up onto Biollante's head before she is all the way up. Ultima Weapon slams deep into the monster's head, but she seems unaffected! Zephyrus continues his assault on Biollante's head, but the attacks don't seem to be killing the plant.

Biollante reaches up with its tendrils, but Zephyrus has no trouble slicing those off. Soon, though, the martian spacecraft has reentered the battle! The heat ray of the UFO opens fire once more, warming the robot to critical temperatures. Unfortunately, the heat ray is not quite perfect in its trajectory, so Biollante is also hit by it. The kaiju erupts into flames and begins to desperately try to pat out the fire, but it is mostly plant, so it just ends up spreading the fire to the rest of its body.

Zephyrus leaps off of the kaiju and onto the spacecraft, slicing the antenna off to stop the ray. As Biollante struggles to put out the flames, Zephyrus begins stabbing into the martian spaceship with his blade. The spaceship tries to shake the robot master off, but Zephyrus digs his claw into the ship so he doesn't fall off. Biollante begins using its tendrils productively, lifting large chunks of dirt onto its body to put out the flames.

"No! It's digging up the ground! Careful of the wiring! Don't mess up the turbines! God help you if you mess with my turbines!"

After Biollante is caked in soil and free of flames, she aims her massive head towards the battle going on in the sky. Zephyrus had all but destroyed the spacecraft, which was now useless without its antenna. Biollante opens her mouth and vomits up a disgusting sap. The radioactive sap makes contact with the spacecraft and begins dissolving it. When Zephyrus realizes this, he begins trying to pull both Ultima Weapon and his claw from the ship. He is only able to remove one.

Zephyrus is forced to abandon the Ultima Weapon as he leaps to safety. The sap begins disintegrating the ship, and parts of Ultima Weapon melt into a metal slurry. Zephyrus is bereft of his sword, but even worse for him: He is bereft of the assistance of his brothers' souls.

Zephyrus looks at his much larger opponent. His fan was dented and now only able to conjure smaller winds. His claw could do damage, but the kaiju had a healing factor, which was already healing the burns and the slashes from his earlier assault. The head didn't appear to be its weakness, but there was something that looked like a heart in its center...

But how could he harm it?

"Well, everyone, it appears that robot is screwed. He has no weapon and his body is terribly dented. It makes me wonder how he even could take down such a- Hey! Stop that! DON'T TOUCH THE TURBINES!!!"

Zephyrus has used his claw to snip one of the wind turbine's bases! Due to his robotic strength, Zephyrus has no issue holding the felled turbine like it is a weapon. For a big opponent, you need a big weapon!

Biollante seems to smirk as shes sees Zephyrus's new weapon choice. Her vines once more shoot forward, but Zephyrus's huge weapon is able to smack them away no problem. The robot master charges towards the plant monster's heart, the wind turbine aimed forward like a javelin. From the melted Ultima Weapon, Zephyrus swore he could hear the cheering of his brothers.

Zephyrus's charge towards Biollante is accompanied by the beginnings of a rainstorm.

"That terrible machine destroyed my wind farm. I don't want to do this anymore. And now it's raining too! Rain to accompany my sorrow. So much work... LOST! I guess it also makes this fite dramatic or something. Who cares.. This will cost so much to fix..."

Our announcer may be bummed, but this battle is getting intense! Zephyrus continues shearing off vines with the turbine's sharp blades. The spacecraft, now almost completely dissolved, tries one last desperate charge, but gets batted away by the turbine. After the robot master's home-run hit, the spacecraft can take no more and shatters into a bunch of tiny pieces.

Biollante begins to ready more radioactive sap for regurgitation in hopes of stopping Zephyrus's charge, but she is not quick enough. Zephyrus has reached the kaiju's heart, and rams one of the turbine's blades into it.

Biollante roars, now feeling a pain more intense than any other. The plant loses its coloration, and Biollante begins to wilt. Zephyrus pulls the turbine out of the heart and rams another one of the blades in. Biollante roars again, the radioactive sap she had tried to ready earlier now dripping down from her jaws. Parts of the sap fall onto Zephyrus below, and the robot master is forced to let go of his weapon. The sap begins eating as his metallic body, but luckily the rain is able to wash it off before it could do any lethal damage.

Biollante's vines shoot up around the heart, the many tendrils now blocking the path to her biggest weakness.

Zephyrus could not get to the turbine now, and he briefly considers chopping another down, but he didn't need it. Biollante was weakened. All he had to do was get in a killer blow.

Zephyrus reaches into his fan, trying his best to straighten the dented blades. When he finishes, his claw plunges into the ground and pulls out wires. Accompanied by the sound of a professor fainting, Zephyrus begins cutting the wires and wiring them into his own system. Zephyrus turns to the wind farm and begins spinning his fan blades. Soon, the largest tornado he has ever created shoots out and hits the wind farm. The turbines begin spinning faster than they were built to handle, sending surges of electricity into the robot. As more and more charge flows into him, the tornado gets larger and stronger.

Wind turbines are blown off the farm, while some dangled in the air by the wires that barely held them to the earth. Zephyrus begins to turn around, aiming his tornado at Biollante.

Biollante's body begins to be pushed back by the cyclonic winds. The monster digs its vines into the ground, hoping to keep its bearings in the dirt. The entirety of the beast's energy is devoted to trying to keep itself from flying away, and the heart in the middle is now unprotected. Zephyrus begins slowly walking towards it, struggling to maintain the massive vortex that shot out of his center.

Zephyrus is able to get within arm's reach of the turbine. He reaches out slowly, grasping the turbine in his arms. He begins to twist it in the heart, trying to drive Biollante past the point of no return.

Nathan Cardinal wakes up to see his wind farm utterly destroyed. He does spare a glance towards Zephyrus and Biollante though, and sees the critical moment.

"I guess this fite is almost over... That plant monster can't protect itself... Wait, I heard a snap! I think one of the fan robot's fan blades broke! KARMA!!! THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR WRECKING MY FARM!!!"

A fan blade does indeed snap, causing the vortex to spin wildly out of control. Zephyrus is blown back by the force of his own winds, but he is quickly caught by one of Biollante's tendrils. The kaiju weakly looks down at its opponent, almost all of its strength sapped by the damage it has taken. But there is one thing that makes Biollante unique. Within the mind of the beast is the soul of a former Zoofighter. The Martian, who lost its battle in Zoofights, who lost its battle in Fite Yer' Mates, now had a chance to claim a victory in the arena. Even if the body is weak, the spirit is willing.

With a surge of unexplainable strength, Biollante pulls Zephyrus up to her face. Tendrils grab both arms and both legs of the robot and pull. The limbs are torn from the robot's body, but before the robot can fall back to the ground, Biollante reaches out with its jaws and bites down. The thousands of teeth in its jaw make quick work of the blue robot.

Biollante drops the limbs and spits out the scrap that used to make up the robot master. It had won. It had won fair and square...

"Well, I guess that giant plant monster wins the match. But at what cost? We've lost many good machines here tonight... MY TURBINES! I BETTER GET COMPENSATION FOR MY GODDAMN TURBINES!!!"

*BOP!*

Gezora's tentacle hits Nathan again, this time knocking the professor back into unconsciousness.

Hey, Gezora hasn't been hurt in this arena! How do you feel about this Gezora?

"Gezora will just enjoy flying this kite. Gezora can't possibly get harmed just flying a kite!"

But Gezora! Don't you know flying a kite in a rainstorm is dangerous! Lightning could strike the kite!

...

...

...

Ok, I guess it doesn't always strike kites in rainstorms...

Goodnight everybody! This has been Fite Yer' Mates's Arena Fites Week!