The citizens whooped and hollered for their protector, wishing her luck as she went to fite the person who had caused them so much grief recently. What they hadn't expected was a fiery portal to open up right next to Biollante. The aliens all leaped back as Doomrider came roaring through the portal, laying down on his bike in a relaxed pose and eating fried shimp lazily.
"Doomrider! Why have you come here? Have you not caused enough trouble for these people?" Biollante roared and quickly positioned herself between Doomrider and the civilians.
"I figured I would swing by and see what all the fucking whining was about. This place doesn't look damaged at all! I think you just wanted a chance to slap me around."
"We rebuilt. Our lives were devoted to undoing your mess for almost an entire month! But we martians are a resilient bunch! We will not lose here today, we will show you the might of Mars's Resolve!" The civilians all roared with applause as Biollante gave her little speech. Doomrider pretended to stifle a yawn.
"That is so fucking cheesy! I can almost taste it! Now I'll have to fite you on a full stomach!"
"What?! No! Not here on Mars! You can do no more damage to it!"
"Don't worry toots, I'll avoid your precious fucking buildings and your testicle-headed citizens."
Before Doomrider could continue, Biollante had heard enough. With a powerful roar, she started the fite right their on her home planet.
Tonight's Fite:
Biollante held the powerful weapon with one tentacle behind her back. Best to keep it out of her opponent's reach until she needed to use it. For now, she decided to use her acid sap to halt the approach of the Doomrider. A cone of flames as tall as her were approaching, and she only hoped that she would not soon burn with the many ethereal energies Doomrider could tap into.
The acid sap shot out of Biollante and onto the ground in front of Doomrider, but it had a different effect than intended. The bike could withstand the acid easily, but the acid had mad a series of potholes that made the bike start to rock uneasily. Doomrider, who was just having fun with his powers at the moment, had not been focusing on steering all too much. He was steering with his horns, and as they rode across the potholes, the bike's bumpy ride bent Doomrider's horns out of place. The now lopsided horns tipped the bike over, and instead of a roaring cone of rainbow energy coming towards Biollante, it was now a ball of exploding lights.
The kaiju sacrificed one of her tentacles to try and bat the ball away. The tentacle instead got wrapped up into the ball, and as the ball of light bounded and spun erratically, the plant's massive girth began to lean. The object was trying to pull her in! Biollante quickly used her mouth to snap the tentacle off, and it soon bounded off into the distance.
Doomrider was absent for a lot longer than Biollante had expected. That ball must have rolled pretty far away. Some Martians began to prematurely declare Biollante the winner, but then a distorted roar came across the horizon. It was the scream of a machine, but not Doomrider's bike.
Doomrider was riding back to the fite on the back of a Mars Rover. The Mars Rover was now belching flames from a massive metal maw it had somehow grown, and back on Earth NASA was scratching their head so hard from what they were now seeing through it that their fingernails were breaking. Biollante thought that Doomrider was far away enough to risk tossing the Oxygen Destroyer out there. A new crater was worth taking down her foe before he could do anything to her planet again. She pulled the tentacle forward and was about to ready the WMD when suddenly fireballs came raining down on her. The rover was barfing up a stream of pink lava as Doomrider hurled purple fireballs at her.
She lit up like a Christmas Tree, but she was not going to burn to death, at least not yet. Using her telekinesis, she kept her weapon away from the volley of fire and began to rumble towards Doomrider and his new mount. The lava vomit was getting closer and closer, but she reached some tentacles down into the ground and hefted a large chunk of Mars dirt out of the ground. The lava now pooled into the crater she had just made, and Doomrider had to slow his mount down to keep it from going into the new pink lava lake on Mars's surface.
Biollante hurled the chunk of earth... err, mars? The chunk of ground at Doomrider, and the rover instinctively tried to protect its master. Its metal maw grabbed the red soil, but it could not break it apart. The pink lava it was barfing up still tried to come out, but the ground was blocking the exit of the rover's body. It began to shake, and then it began to explode.
Doomrider was launched up into the air in an explosion of lava and dirt. Biollante used the moment to pat out some of the flames all over her body, relying on the soil of her home planet to put out flames from another dimension. It kinda worked.
As Doomrider came falling back down, he closed his mouth and his cheeks began to inflate. Biollante was expecting another barf of the fiery variety, so she shielded her face with her tentacles. But Doomrider did not expel flames, he expelled air. A typhoon of hot air came towards Biollante, pushing her down to the ground. Doomrider landed on top of the toppled kaiju and began to tear her apart with his clawed hands. Biollante's remaining tentacles reached up to try and grab Doomrider, but the Daemon Prince grabbed them and tied them into a Thief Knot. He wasn't trying to be symbolic or anything, it was just an easy enough knot to tie.
The Martians watched on in horror. Understandably, they were uneasy with seeing their protector being torn to shreds. Talk was going around the group of joining the fite. At least as a distraction. They had guns, they had flying saucers, they shouldn't have to sit back and do nothing!
The group was about to go get armed when suddenly Doomrider flew up into the air. Even Doomrider looked confused, but soon he could sense the type of energy it was. The Oxygen Destroyer rolled off to the side as Biollante's telekinesis shifted from the weapon to her aggressor. She quickly hurled him away and used her mind to unravel the thief's knot. With a great amount of effort, she pushed herself up and grabbed the Oxygen Destroyer in her tentacles. Before Doomrider could recover from being tossed by a giant plant's mind, Biollante hurled the bomb right towards him.
Doomrider hits the ground a few seconds before the bomb reaches him. Dodging the bomb's reach seemed impossible at the moment. Instead, he kicked back off the ground and went directly towards the bomb. Grabbing it and easing its momentum as best he could, he began to corkscrew through the air as he got closer and closer to Biollante. She was much too close to the city for comfort, so she began to charge towards Doomrider. If that bomb goes off, killing them both, then she would at least spare the city of as much damage as she could.
But Doomrider was not leaping in for a suicidal bombing, he ceased his spinning and used all the momentum that built up to hurl the bomb directly into the charging plant's maw.
Biollante could not help but swallow the bomb as it came towards her. With that much force it was a wonder it did not tear through the back of her neck or explode on impact. The bomb landed in the kaiju's stomach, but it did not seem to immediately go off. The sap inside of her cushioned the landing, but it was slowly eating away at it. It was bound to go off any moment.
After his graceful throw, Doomrider landed clumsily in the dirt. He let out a whistle, and what remained of his motorcycle came to him. The ball of lights had wrecked it up something awful. It was less of a flaming motorcycle and more of a sputtering unicycle with some lighters attached. Still, it was fast and powered by Slaanesh, so Doomrider hopped aboard his unicycle and drove away, mooning the plant beast who was now a ticking time bomb.
Biollante would have given chase either way, but the mooning was just icing on her cake of rage. Biollante, surprisingly fast for a plant, tore through the Martian soil in her pursuit. Doomrider was riding his unicycle backwards now, trying to think of a way to slow her pursuit. An idea popped into his head, and he leaped off his unicycle to implement it. Landing on the dirt, he created a wall of fire so large that Biollante might be feeling a bit inadequate next to it. The thing is, a kaiju who know it is going to explode does not care much for self preservation.
She went right through that sucker.
The burning plant slammed into Doomrider, who thought she might stop upon seeing something that will surely deep fry her. When Biollante realized the tiny thing she bumped into was not a rock but her foe, she reached her tentacles down and seized him. It was at this point Doomrider realized something: He was not trying to keep Biollante from reaching his bike, he was trying to keep her from reaching him! The unicycle was sputtering around the Martian surface pointlessly now, a large amount of power stored in it because its rider was convinced the ride was the subject of the monster's pursuit. He shouldn't have had so many drugs this morning... and yesterday... and all month... and well, always.
The flames on Biollante were turning her body to an ashy black, and as Doomrider struggled to get free, the tentacles crumbled to bits. Doomrider laughed, realizing that the monster was hardly keeping together now that it was scorched. He whipped out some marshmallows and began to roast them on her body. Biollante tried to spray acid, but the bomb within her churned about and made the kaiju too anxious to continue the assault. The sap dripped down on Doomrider, who whipped out an umbrella that absorbed the acidic goo.
"Tut tut tut, looks like fucking gross rain!" he laughed again. He had this in the bag. If the bomb didn't get her, the fire would! Biollante tried to use her telekinesis, but the mind was too taxed from dealing with the pain of burning alive. All her options seemed exhausted, and Doomrider wasn't even trying to win anymore. He thought he had it in the bag after he hurled that bomb into her stomach...
This time, Biollante had an idea, and not one involving a unicycle riding around a planet for perhaps the rest of time. Biollante forced her immense body down and swallowed Doomrider. Leaning over caused the weakened kaiju to topple, but Doomrider, his marshmallows, and even his umbrella all successfully were gulped down and swallowed. Doomrider tumbled through whatever a plant monster's digestive system is like and landed in the sappy goo that substituted for a normal organic's stomach acid. Doomrider's hair fire was lighting the beast's stomach, but it didn't help Doomrider much to know where he was.
The goo was devouring his armor, and Doomrider flailed around in the acidic gloop as he tried to escape. As he flailed, his hands hit something hard, and he climbed up onto it to keep from sinking into the sap. He let out a sigh of relief and tried to stand on the object, but it began to shake, and he slipped off. He reached out for the object again, but this time his claws broke into it. His hair snuffed out, and for a minute Doomrider wondered what would cause his headfire to go out.
Fire can't burn when there is no oxygen. And fire definitely can't burn if that oxygen is destroyed.
The kaiju had been unable to lift itself from the ground after it had toppled, but the explosion of its stomach had caused it to move. The force of the explosion destroyed all of her torso, but it also propelled her head away from the blast. By pure coincidence she had survived as just a head, but as the heavily scorched head went flying through the air, the Martians in the city looked up in horror. Seeing that going through the air was not a pretty sight.
The head landed in the city, skewered on the new statue of Zephyrus's claw. The Martian's looked at it in horror, some were crying, but the head began to move. A tiny grin, and a tiny message.
"Fear not... We have won on this day..."
The Martians cheered! Even though Biollante was a wreck, the beast had come back from this kind of mutilation before. Kaiju have a tendency to revive themselves anyway. Biollante wins, but only barely. Either way, a victory is a victory, and Mars has been avenged.
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