Tonight, IN THIS VERY RING, two teams of robot bros go head to head.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for:
X DEMOLITION AND SLIME-INATOR
VS
The Robro heroes Zephyrus and Oceanus arrive on one end of the arena riding atop Poseidon the robot shark. Zephyrus waves cheerfully, while Oceanus and Poseidon ham it up for their fans. On the other side of the arena, the doors swing open and X Demolition smoothly and steadily rolls into the arena. Big Brother is at the lead of the small procession, and he is followed by Little Brother, with Slime-Inator at the rear. The construction team got a fair share of applause, but not quite as much as their heroic opponents.
As the two teams got into position awaiting the start of the fight, Zephyrus and Oceanus nodded to each other, making signals and gestures. They had prepared for this match by carefully deliberating on who should fite who. It had been determined that Zephyrus should tackle Big Brother, Oceanus Little Brother, and Poseidon Slime-Inator.
Their careful, detailed plotting immediately went out the window when the bell sounded and all three construction bots immediately came down on Oceanus.
The drill stopped just inches from Oceanus' body. Poseidon had bitten down onto the arm, and wasn't about to let his master get impaled! The shark pulled and yanked on the arm, trying to wrench it from its socket, but Big Brother retaliated by driving away, taking Poseidon with it, and swinging its arm around the arena, trying to smash up the shark.
Little Brother barreled towards Oceanus, but Zephyrus was ready this time, firing a Crash Bomb into the arena dirt. Like a mine, the shot went off when Little Brother drove over it, and the smaller of the two brothers is sent up and over onto his back, struggling to right himself. Zephyrus moved in to do some damage.
Oceanus was relieved his bro had driven off the others, as this allowed him to go mano-a-mano with Slime-Inator. The monstrous cement truck charged forward, jaws gaping and ready to crush, but Oceanus easily sidestepped the beast's charge. He ran up to the back of Slime-Inator - there was a big, obvious hole in his rear, and Oceanus was going to fire a battery of Dive Missiles right inside!
Except going after the rear of a cement mixer is not a particularly wise decision. Oceanus is promptly reminded why his enemy is called Slime-Inator when several dozen pounds of goopy sludge erupts from its mixer and onto the diverbot. "EEUUUGH!" Oceanus cries in disgust, looking at the dripping, oozing slime running down his chassis. But he soon gets over it when he realizes nothing has malfunctioned and he felt no pain. "...That's it? That's the best your slime can do?"
It was only when Slime-Inator spun around and began another charge did Oceanus realize how heavy the slime was. His agility significantly hampered, Oceanus is unable to save his cannon arm, which is snapped up by the monstrous cement truck. It doesn't come off - instead Slime-Inator just keeps driving onward around the arena with its goopy prize, dragging the hapless Oceanus behind. At least all the movement is starting to remove the slime.
Zephyrus, meanwhile, is trying to figure out how best to crack Little Brother...
Little Brother twitched and struggled, trying mightily to right itself and get away from Zephyrus, but the fanbot was having no part of it. A Spark Shot to the undercarriage stunned the forklift, allowing Zephyrus to reach down with his claw and try to prise open his opponent's undercarriage.
Suddenly, hatches on Little Brother opened and sticks of dynamite popped out. Even though it was Constructor X who tended to use this attack, Little Brother had all the necessary parts on his own. The dynamite sticks landed near Little Brother, and Zephyrus, eager to avoid getting blasted, quickly jumped off his enemy and stepped back. With Zephyrus finally off of him, Little Brother managed to self-right and drive clear of his TNT sticks exploding. Instead of fighting Zephyrus, Little Brother drove away, forcing the Robot Master to chase after him.
Big Brother's claw arm clamped hard around Poseidon's body, trying to crush it in its grip. Poseidon let go of the drill arm and thrashed madly, trying to escape, but it wasn't quite able to. Big Brother began smashing the shark into the ground repeatedly, hoping to knock it offline. Poseidon was too dazed to try his weapons...
Fortunately, there was a seventh participant in this match! Mini-Poseidon, the tiny shark atop Poseidon's head, ejected from its locked position and went after the claw arm of Big Brother like a robot piranha, sending strips of metal flying. Big Brother released Poseidon and trundled backward, withdrawing his arms and raising his front plow like a shield. Mini-Poseidon fired a laser, but it bounced off the scoop and fired into the audience, making a young Asian woman dive for cover.
As Little Brother led Zephyrus around, the fanbot began firing his Needle Cannon. While needles weren't effective against metal, they did pretty well against the forklift's tires. One wheel blew, then another, and Little Brother began to lose control. He shot off more dynamite, but Zephyrus used his chest fan to blow the sticks right back, and explosions rattled Little Brother's frame as he began belching smoke. Spotting Big Brother up ahead, Little Brother raced to meet him. The larger truck was still in a defensive position, soaking up laser fire from both Poseidon and his Mini-Me.
"Big Brother, we're in trouble!"
"That we are. It's time!"
For a moment, all is quiet.
"Big Brother!"
"Little Brother!"
"UNITE! BUILD FORMATION!"
Big Brother and Little Brother rocket into the air, surrounded by blue backgrounds and flashes of light as they combine and transform.
With a mighty crash, Constructor X lands on the arena floor and stares down Zephyrus, Poseidon, and Mini-Poseidon.
Slime-Inator was really enjoying this battle so far. He'd slimed and manhandled Oceanus, and now it was time to finish the bot off. With a flick of his head, the monster robot cement mixer tossed Oceanus to the ground and reared up on his wheels, roaring and ready to crush him to bits-
But he hadn't expected the trident. Oceanus's trusty trident harpoon slams into Slime-Inator, and in an instant Zephyrus's little bro is on his feet and yanking. Slime-Inator bellows as he tumbles onto his side, landing hard. Oceanus releases his trident and makes a run for it while his enemy is unable to retaliate. Oceanus had caught a glimpse of the transformation, and he knew Zephyrus would need his help.
"DRILLLL KNUCKLLLLLE!!"
Zephyrus only just dodged the Drill Knuckle attack of Constructor X, pivoting away from the rocket drill and firing Spark Shots in retaliation. Unfortunately for Zephyrus, Constructor X's combined body was better able to resist his electric attacks, and the mech thundered forward without any noticeable issues, swinging his mighty claw down upon Zephyrus and cracking his head open. It was a strong blow, and Zephyrus staggered, leaving himself open to a brutal follow-up punch to the chest fan, damaging it and sending him reeling.
Poseidon and Mini-Poseidon spewed lasers at Constructor X's head, and he quickly raised his drill to try and deflect them. Mini-Poseidon's laser was redirected into the hapless Slime-Inator's front left tire, but Poseidon's found its mark, blasting out one of Constructor X's eyes in a spray of sparks.
"You're good."
The construction mecha's drill opened up, and a beam of light shot out of it.
"But not good enough! I SHALL DESTROY YOU... WITH MY LASER BLADE!"
Constructor X swung the Laserblade, creating explosions in thin air that blew Mini-Poseidon across the arena, creating a Mini-Poseidon-shaped hole in the wall, and the blade cutting deep into Poseidon.
Oceanus ran up to his brother to see if he was all right.
"Bro, you okay?"
"I'm fine... takes a lot more than this to put me down!"
Even though some circuits were exposed and he was smoking dangerously, Zephyrus was willing to keep up the fight, turning to Constructor X and preparing a battle stance. The Wind Crystal in Zephyrus' forehead began to glow...
With all of his might, Zephyrus unleashed a tremendously powerful tornado from his chest. A tornado so powerful it made his already damaged fan pop right off seconds after it was made. The out-of-control whirlwind tore through the earth, and not even Constructor X was strong or heavy enough to withstand it. The mecha fell over with an earthshaking crash, and as the tornado dissipated he was clearly having some trouble getting up again.
Oceanus and Poseidon moved in for the kill, Zephyrus hanging back...
The claw shot forward in an instant, grabbing Poseidon and swinging him at Oceanus like a baseball bat. Oceanus was sent flying from the hit, soaring backwards and smashing hard into the arena wall before collapsing to the ground. Zephyrus raised his hand. Was... was he flipping off Constructor X?
Well, sort of. That IS how you activate the Middle Finger Missiles.
Large plates of metal, already weakened by acid, cold, and wind, now began to fall off of Constructor X, exposing circuits and wires. He lifted up Poseidon again, looming over Zephyrus. Zephyrus tensed up. He could think of only one defense at this point.
The instant the shark made contact, Zephyrus activated the Top Spin. Opposing forces had an argument, and a headless robo-shark was wrenched out of Constructor X's grasp, inactive and offline.
KO
Constructor X paused a moment, apparently not realizing what had just happened, and Zephyrus took advantage, swinging up with his claw and driving it into Constructor X's arm. The bigger mech stood up straight and took Zephyrus with him, the Robot Master hanging from the arm comically. He began firing Middle Finger Missiles at the mecha's head, but Constructor X simply retracted his head to avoid the attacks, forcing Zephyrus to shoot elsewhere.
Such as at the base of the claw arm, which soon gave way, sending both the arm and Zephyrus back to the ground.
Constructor X's head emerged again, and he stared down at Zephyrus, who was now busy trying to free his claw from the severed arm.
So busy, in fact, that he didn't notice the drill heading right for his back.
Also having gotten up from the earlier assault is Slime-Inator, who finally figured out - he's not too bright - that he could get free by transforming. Now bereft of wheels, the flying wasp cement truck monster robot flies up and begins circling twenty feet over the battlefield, roaring.
Oceanus gets into battle position.
It was all up to him now.
Oceanus believed that he would be able to handle Constructor X in his current condition. In fact, he was quite confident. The addition of Slime-Inator, however, severely hampered things. Constructor X, feeling his body begin to overheat from the exertion of the fight, had opened his vents and was standing, immobile, to cool off. He was a total sitting duck.
And yet every time Oceanus tried to take advantage, Slime-Inator swooped down with lashing claws and gnashing teeth and forced the diverbot into a retreat. Oceanus was beginning to get annoyed, and realized he had to take out Slime-Inator if he wanted to win. Now, while Constructor X couldn't fight.
Oceanus turned his cannon on the flying robot, unleashing Dive Missiles, but Slime-Inator effortlessly dodged them. Gyro Attack fared little better. The Noise Crush, though, worked perfectly - the sound waves threw off Slime-Inator's systems, and the frazzled robot began to plummet. It tilted its wings to guide its descent towards Oceanus, but it was a fruitless endeavor - he merely sidestepped the charge, grateful that he was no longer covered in slime. Slime-Inator landed hard, creating a furrow in the earth and breaking off two of his claws. As his wings fluttered like a dying dragonfly, Oceanus deemed him no longer a threat and turned to Constructor X, who was still venting himself.
Perfect.
Oceanus charged towards the much bigger mech, squatted down, and leapt into the air, drawing back his hand.
Just as Oceanus leapt into the air, Constructor X's vents snapped shut. His remaining eye flashed brightly. His drill opened.
Oceanus' fist collided with Constructor X at the exact same time Constructor X's Laserblade materialized in the exact spot Oceanus was currently occupying.
Hold on a moment - the audience is going nuts - we have a situation here-
I'm looking out over the arena, and it's clear to me that none of our entrants are active at the moment. Constructor X lost his head, shutting off the two brothers simultaneously, and Zephyrus and Oceanus have both been knocked out, as has Poseidon. We're going to the referee...
A tiny shark bellow cuts off the Refbot.
Mini-Poseidon, having finally freed itself from being embedded in the wall, is still alive!
"Oh, um... That changes things. Very well, then, Slime-Inator and Mini-Poseidon shall fite to determine the winner!"
The tiny shark is a miniscule fraction of Slime-Inator's size, but Slime-Inator has definitely seen better days. The Noise Crusher's effects still linger, and he can't get airborne. He drags himself forward with his claws, snapping at the little shark, but Mini-Poseidon can easily avoid the attack. He fires lasers, which do little to Slime-Inator but do leave nice little burn marks. Seeing the need to switch tactics, the sharkbot dives at Slime-Inator's back and spins upside-down, letting its razorblade dorsal fin slice a gash into Slime-Inator. One pass leaves a horrible groove on its upper back. A second strike shears off a wing. Mini-Poseidon twirls around and slams into the cement mixer's head, driving a long, nasty scratch into it, then the neck, then the back, and then-
And you forgot about the slime, didn't you?
And then that fucking slime explodes from the back of the monsterbot like Slimer taking a laxative, and Mini-Poseidon is buried in a tidal wave of green muck, getting pinned to the ground. Laser fire fails to destroy the slime, and biting just makes more creep into the shark's mouth and play havoc with his internals.
Smoke billowing from its body, sparks spraying from vital areas, and wings twitching like an insect hit with Raid, Slime-Inator eagerly hauls itself around in a rough half-circle and bites down on the wriggling pile of goo as hard as it can.
TEAM X DEMOLITION WINS
Well, that does it for tonight, sports fans - now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to buy as many Slime-Inator toys as I can before the price skyrockets.
...Boy, I feel awful sorry for Celestia.
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