Fite 34 (Surprise Fite) - The Adbots Strike Back (Yahoo Bot vs. Bing Bot)

3 months ago, Yahoo [Bot] showed Google [Bot] who was boss in the arena. The two adbots fought to the death for the right to advertise in the bar, and Yahoo Bot prevailed. However, our friendly Yahoo Bot's territory has been breached by an adbot of a new kind: Bing [Bot]. Yahoo Bot, it's time to defend your claim to the bar. Get ready for a surprise fite everyone, because Yahoo [Bot] and Bing [Bot] are about to throw down. It's time for Fite Yer' Mates!

Yahoo Bot hovers into the arena, dragging Bing Bot in so he can fite the blue robot for the claim to the bar's advertising rights. Bing Bot bangs his magnifying against the sleek white robot, but predictably Bing Bot does no damage to its opponent with such a weak weapon. Yahoo Bot tosses its foe to the ground, and Gezora signals for the two robots to rumble!

Yahoo Bot charges forward, using its head as a ram to push Bing Bot back. Again, the representative of Microsoft's search engine bangs futilely against its robotic foe with its goofy yellow magnifying glass as it it pushed by the round robot, but it realizes it should probably think of a new approach. Dropping his magnifying glass, Bing's robot grabs its orb-shaped opponent and flips up onto its back, riding the hovering droid like an egg-shaped pony. Yahoo Bot tries to spin Bing Bot off, but the blue robot grabs Yahoo Bot's arms and uses them as reins, maintaining its hold on the white robot. Luckily for Yahoo Bot, his slippery surface causes the human-shaped droid to slip off and dangle from the orb robot's arms. Yahoo Bot tries to shake Bing Bot off its arms, but the blue robot is persistent.

Lifting its opponent up to its face, Yahoo Bot then presses one of the buttons on its chassis. The "Play" button. From internal speakers, Yahoo Bot blares something from its insufferable OMG! service: a video of Kathy Griffin. Have you no mercy Yahoo Bot!?!?

As Kathy Griffin begins to discuss her butt sweat at audio levels capable of harming human ears (not to mention in a voice that is that harmful too), Bing Bot's audio sensors explode, causing Bing Bot to let go in surprise. Bing Bot drops to the ground in a roll and prepares to fite its foe deaf. Yahoo Bot stops playing the insufferable, unfunny rant of the D-List celebrity and begins to charge towards its foe once more, but Bing Bot appears to be opening its chest! Out of its chest flies a tiny colored butterfly.

The MSN butterfly intercepts Yahoo Bot midair, somehow grabbing the orb shaped machine with invisible legs. Yahoo Bot tries to swat it, but the butterfly easily dodges the frantic swings and begins going for the optics. One of Yahoo Bot's eyes shatter in a spray of sparks, but the sparks light the butterfly's wings on fire. Seeking refuge from the sparks, it flies straight into the ruptured optic and goes into Yahoo Bot's inner workings.

The multi-colored butterfly gets to work tearing apart wiring from within Yahoo Bot, causing the egg-shaped machine to lurch about awkwardly as Bing Bot resumes its assault. A loud sound was coming from within Bing Bot as it punched Yahoo Bot's tough chassis, denting it but causing no real damage. Luckily, the MSN butterfly was doing tons of damage on the inside. However, it soon stumbles into a part of the wiring occupied by a large engine. As soon as Yahoo Bot registers the butterfy's new position and why its blue opponent is making such a loud sound, it begins to rev up the engine. The MSN butterfly tries to move away, but gets tangled in the wires around the engine. The engine begins to become extremely hot, burning the poor colorful butterfly to death.

The two robots get noisier and noisier until finally they both throw their hands up. Aiming at each other, both bots release the power of their search engines.

Images of various things fly out of the hands of both robots. Unpopular political cartoons and pornographic images that shouldn't exist slash open holes in Yahoo Bot's side as poorly drawn anime art and stock photos with obnoxious watermarks shear through Bing Bot's metal. Images litter the arena as pictures of cat memes and babies cut into both fiters. Soon, however, both Bing Bot and Yahoo Bot have their image arsenal dwindled down to icons and tiny logos, so they stop their projectile fiting and resume biffing each other. Yahoo Bot's hovering does give it the advantage though, as Bing Bot must wade through Savage Chicken comics and pictures of office equipment to even reach his opponent. Bing Bot slams his fist into Yahoo Bot's underside, sending the white bot up into the air. Seeing a chance to replicate its winning maneuver from its fite against Google Bot, Yahoo Bot uses the extra air to drop down in an elbow drop!

YAHOOOOOO-

REJECTED!

Bing Bot hurls envelopes at Yahoo Bot, the Hotmail melting parts of Yahoo Bot's chassis. The hot e-mails cause Yahoo Bot to miss with its elbow drop, slamming into a pile of images of graphs and sports stars. The images cover the robot entirely, and as Bing Bot wades over to try and finish the fallen Yahoo Bot off, it suddenly sees its foe moving through the images like Bugs Bunny through dirt. Bing Bot begins to fire more Hotmail, burning images but failing to hit Yahoo Bot.

Underneath the images, a damaged Yahoo Bot considers its position, and lifts an arm up to press another one of its chest buttons: "Fast Forward".

The suddenly speedy Yahoo Bot closes the distance from it to Bing Bot faster than the blue robot can react. Grabbing the representative of Microsoft's search engine with both arms, Yahoo Bot flies up out of the images and high into the sky. Bing Bot struggles, but its arms are held tightly by Yahoo Bot. Kicking at its opponent's chassis, Bing Bot struggles for its life as the two robots sail at high speeds towards the arena's roof.

With a final vigorous push, Yahoo Bot slams Bing Bot into the ceiling, crushing the robot's head and its CPU. It emits one final sound as its systems shut down.

YAHOO [BOT] wins again! Thus proving that among the adbots, Yahoo shall always be king! Leaving Bing Bot lodged in the ceiling, Yahoo Bot drops to the ground, its systems overloaded from having to work after so much internal damage. Luckily, it lands in a pile of images of amateur photography and screenshots, preventing its fall from breaking it any further.

Gezora grumbles as it picks up a broom so it can clean the arena of the images.