Up in the sky the massive frame of Crunk’s red dragon comes into view and lands with a massive thud. After the dragon lands, it becomes apparent that two tinier figures were flying close behind. Rainbow Dash lands with a whip of her mane, while Owltomaton lands delicately, making sure not to spill its bucket of ants. A couple of portals open up around the arena, and a couple of the more eldritch of the competitors step out and into the arena. The rest of the competitors walk in with little fanfare, the audience distracted by the more flagrant displays of the others.
However, one flagrant display draws the attention of all the competitors and audience members. From the sky descends…
The giant kaiju Gezora enters the arena last to a massive amount of cheering. Gezora begins to speak:
“The battle will be underway shortly, but first, it is time to finally reveal the mysterious fighter…”
Everyone’s attention now turns to the massive steel crate that has been sitting ominously in the arena…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owhA_sKoKbE
Mac Tonight’s cloud carries the piano playing moon man out of his box and into the sky. He begins to sing a new song, one sang to the same tune as his commercial appearance:
"When the brawlers, come to kill friends
A major bloodbath, Murder! –don’t be late!
Yeah, at Zoofights, the voters will fight – killer!
At Gezora’s! Showtime, it's Fite Yer’ Mates!"
Many of the competitors are still dumbfounded by the disappointing mystery fighter, but now that all 18 competitors are in the arena, Gezora raises its booming voice well above its usually loud level.
“Everybody! It Is Finally Time! Get Ready To Brawl Yer’ Mates!”
As soon as the signal is given, the fighters snap out of their funk and turn to each other. Widow Maker pulls out her blade and attaches it to her arm, charging towards Shuma-Gorath. However, Alex the Janitor intercepts the charging mantis and locks blades with the mantid. Widow Maker is surprised by Alex’s actions, and deflects Alex’s blows with her own sword. She has no idea why the janitor is lashing out at her, but as his holy blade strikes her unholy blade, red energy begins to surround her entire body…
Elsewhere, a little pony has scoped out her first opponent: Mac Tonight. “This odd competitor can’t be too strong, I bet I could take him down no problem!” she reasons to herself. Mac Tonight is paying little attention to the battle, instead focused on giving it a piano soundtrack from high on his cloud. Rainbow Dash flies towards the cloud from underneath, her opponent unaware he was even being targeted.
When she reaches the cloud, she turns around and lets out a powerful kick with her rear hooves.
Then, she comes firing down, moving incredible fast. As her speed exceeds that of sound, a sonic boom is heard. A Sonic Rainboom. Behind the almost indiscernible figure of Rainbow Dash is a massive rainbow trail that extends endlessly into the sky. She comes crashing into the body of Mac, who hadn’t even finished his fall to the ground.
The falling objects have, however, drawn attention to the previously ignored blue pegasus, who now must fly for her life as many of her opponents begin to open fire on her with a wide variety of projectiles.
Rainbow Dash dodges many of the projectiles nimbly; her opponent’s firing rate is no match for a tiny horse that can outfly some jets. She realizes now though that she has gotten herself into more trouble than she had bargained for. She expected the stronger opponents to go for each other first, but instead they all have chosen to pick on her.
On the ground though, the story behind their barrage is quite different than she thinks. Hanz, Designate, the Crunk Wizard, Deleter, and Shuma are not firing out of their own spite towards the pony, but from their mutual desire for a little sport. The five of them have agreed to a test of their skills and accuracy. Bets were placed between the quintet of fighters while Rainbow Dash was taking out the not-so-amazing mystery fighter about who would be able to shoot her down first.
The pegasus ducks and weaves through the sky, dodging gunfire and magic as she tries to ready her lance. Even though it was custom made for her hooves, the lance still fumbles about as she tries to get a hold of it while flying at Mach 1. Just as she has it in the proper position, a bullet fired from a German pistol knocks it from her hoof. The lance goes flying towards the Zoofights crowd at supersonic speed, and an unfortunate fellow in a red suit is punctured through his head. The second KO of the fight and it’s not even a competitor…
Rainbow Dash realizes she can’t keep flying in circles forever, but she does realize that flying in circles may have a more tactical use. She begins to fly in circles above those who were firing at her. Flames knick her wings and bullets pass dangerously close to her head, but before any serious damage is done, a massive cyclone has whipped up and lifted her opponents in the air. Rainbow Dash flies above her other opponents and makes more massive vortexes.
But while this little pony had a mid-air chuckle, the massive body of Erebus is flinged from one of the tornadoes. Unlike some of his other competitors, Erebus chose to ride the circling wind by his own volition. He knew it was the only way to get within range…
Rainbow Dash never sees him coming…
“Shall we do this then?” says the Deleter.
Meanwhile, somewhere else in the arena, Cap’n Ogopogo and Tapogrepogo have tumbled out of one of the tornadoes. Ogopogo hadn’t expected such might from the little blue filly, but the cyclones had done little to harm the massive sea serpent. When he did land on the ground, it was with little damage to his massive body. Besides a bit of bruising on his underside, the sea beast was mostly just a bit winded by his brief moment of flight. However, the body of Tapogrepogo lands beside him on its back. The monster honks in extreme pain, and the captain quickly helps his first mate back onto its stomach. The cloned abomination seems to have broken a few vertebrae from his fall, but he still can control his body, just with a depressing amount of pain. Every motion of the tapogre-plesiosaur is accompanied by a depressing honk.
If she wasn’t already dead, Ogopogo would have made the last few moments of the pony’s life a living hell. No one messes with his first mate. Tapogrepogo may be a pathetic being, but its heart was purer than that of any organic creature he’s ever known.
Watching over the Tapogrepogo’s pitiful attempts at movement is a familiar duck-faced merchant. He sets down his briefcase for a bit so he could open it. He pulls out a single vial, one with Tapogrepogo’s name literally written on it. A rage burned in saberwulf’s heart, a rage that was not so much directed at Tapogrepogo, but the creature his DNA came from. Saberwulf swore he would take down the beast, and he now he saw it would be much easier than he expected.
Ogopogo’s back is turned to Saberwulf, so the merchant has no trouble getting within close range. The captain tries his best to ease his friend’s pain, but nothing seems to console the ailing beast. Suddenly, Ogopogo becomes aware of the presence of another. It turns to face Saberwulf, who is now dashing towards the tapir-faced beast. Ogopogo dives toward the interdimensional merchant, mouth agape. Saberwulf is briefly tempted to toss the vial into his foe’s mouth, but chooses to instead jump up onto the Canadian Lake Monster’s face instead.
Ogopogo was getting really tired of people walking all over him. He flings his head backwards and slams both his head and Saberwulf into the ground. The merchant is crushed, but not dead, and in his hand he still holds an intact portal to another dimension. Tapogrepogo has noticed saberwulf now too and attempts to bite him, but even that simple movement is now to painful, and it ends up rearing back and screaming in pain. Saberwulf hops up onto his foe’s back and begins to stomp on the spine, causing the beast to thrash back and forth wildly. Ogopogo, still slightly dazed from slamming his own head on the ground, can do nothing to prevent his friend’s torture…
Tapogrepogo manages to overcome the pain though and turns his neck around. It unleashes a loud honk directly into the duck-face of Saberwulf. Saberwulf jams his hand into the beast’s mouth and throws the vial into the back of its throat. The tapogre-plesiosaur bites down on his gloved hand though, and soon Saberwulf has been lifted into the air by his foe.
But the movement of Tapogrepogo’s neck has caused a tiny vial within him to break…
“That was to get your attention. This next shot won’t miss.”
Meanwhile, in the Plane of Friendly Cats Made Entirely From Cold Vanilla Custard…
“You think you can beat me? Don’t you remember last time? Or did Tanhauser take out too much of your brain to leave any memories?”
The necronaut would also smirk right now, but his skull is incapable of proper expression. “You fought me with a handicap last time. This time I’ve got my armor and a weapon powerful enough to wipe out solar systems. Do you really think you can defeat someone who could just obliterate the entire planet on a whim?”
Saberwulf laughs and is about to brag about the power of his vials, but he realizes they were all still on the ground in the suitcase from back when he placed it down to remove Tapogrepogo’s vial. Saberwulf looks towards his suitcase, now tens of meters away from him. Designate_5 laughs, his jaw wide open.
“Get your suitcase if you need it, I can wait.”
Saberwulf is annoyed by the patronizing laugh of his foe, but he has no time to worry about what his foe thinks of him. He runs to his suitcase and pulls out one of the special vials he had brought in case a certain jumpsuit wearing fellow were to show up. He had some spares if he did make an appearance, but he thought his skeletal foe deserved a special death.
Saberwulf runs back to Designate_5, clutching the vial carefully but tightly. Designate pulls his arm up and begins to fiddle with the glove’s settings. Before he can settle on a setting, Saberwulf is back within range and holding his clasped fist above his head. Designate uses his gloved hand to smack the hand down and then delivers a sucker punch to the duck-face mask of his foe. The mask comes off and reveals a horrifying sight, but Designate has no time to evaluate his foe’s distorted features.
Saberwulf falls to the ground from the force of the punch. He manages to get a hold of his mask before Designate can deliver his next massive punch. Saberwulf, with his empty hand, grabs his foe’s fist, and begins to push it towards the skull of his opponent. The two struggle as the merchant tries to make the skeleton shoot its own head off. Designate’s second arm comes up to try and slug Saberwulf, but the merchant unclenches his fist and grasps the skeleton’s massive palm. If Designate applies to much pressure now to his opponent’s palm, both would be sucked into a dimension of unimaginable terror.
The mutated merchant manages to change the glove’s setting as the struggle goes on. Designate looks to see what his glove was now set to: “Demolition”, the same setting used to destroy planets. It seemed that if he was going down, someone was going to go down with him. Designate suddenly cooks up a brilliant idea to get the merchant off him. Designate moves his flaming blue skull as close as he can to his opponent, and cooks the mutated face of saberwulf.
Saberwulf cringes back in pain, which causes him to release his grip on his opponent. Designate quickly changed his glove’s setting from “Demolition” to “Disintegrate”. He is about to open fire when he sees Saberwulf rearing his arm back, ready to toss the vial towards the necronaut.
Right as Saberwulf’s arm reaches the top of its throwing arc, Designate’s triggers his glove’s Stripper Cannon.
Saberwulf’s ashes blow away on the wind…
Meanwhile, the Spy has just learned of the unfortunate fate of the Tapogrepogo…
The Spy and the Saguaro had a bit of difficulty after the blue horse
unleashed its tornadoes upon the unsuspecting fighters. Saguaro, who was
previously perfectly fine in his pot, had been thrown far away from the
battle. The pot had shattered, and the cactus was now lying on the
ground, his roots unable to find a proper hold in the ground. RedSpy was
able to eventually retrieve the cactus, but carrying him back to the
battlefield proved difficult. The spy was forced to scoop up an armful
of dirt to carry his friend in, but luckily the ground in the bar’s
makeshift arena was prone to clumping, allowing him to at least have a
decent hold on the Saguaro’s base.
Saguaro was a bit embarrassed by this method of movement, but at the moment he was not ready to attempt to move on his own. As they came back to the arena, they noticed the giant headless corpse of a plesiosaur. Cap’n Ogopogo was still standing above his fallen friend’s corpse when the two reached it themselves. Ogopogo told them of how Tapogrepogo died, who was responsible, and of the fate of Saberwulf.
“We’ve missed a lot, haven’t we? No matter. We must get into the fray now and eliminate some of our mutual foes before they try to pick us off.” Almost as soon as Saguaro finished talking, some mutual foes presented themselves. ROB, being pushed around by Owltomaton, had approached Ogopogo from behind, relatively unseen because of their tiny stature. Ogopogo laughs at the two,
“I’ll entertain these har robots, ye guys go find yerselves a bigger foe ta take down!”
Ogopogo turned around and begins to battle the two, while Spy and Saguaro begin to survey the arena for suitable foes.
“I never thought picking my first target would be so difficult…” says the Spy.
Suddenly, a bullet flies straight towards the head of RedSpy. Lucky for him, the helmet he wore with the camera on board took the blow and caused the bullet to ricochet, but the force of the bullet removed the helmet from RedSpy’s head. RedSpy drops Saguaro PI in surprise and begins to reach for his knife. He’s briefly concerned with the camera which his buddies would be viewing the fight through, but one of the 8 Snappers rushes onto the field and retrieves it. It plops the helmet onto its own head and scurries off back to the sidelines, now recording for two different feeds.
RedSpy looks to where he believes the bullet came from and sees a familiar foe. Doktor Hanz stood far away from the spy, reloading his Luger. “Ich figured a rematch would be appropriate in ze midst of zis massive brawl.” Once his Luger’s magazine has been properly replaced, he again takes aim with it, ready to shoot his opponent through the head this time.
RedSpy has no long ranged weapons, and he knows there is no way in hell he could get within fighting range of the nimble Hanz in time to do any damage. RedSpy is left with few options, and most of the remaining options are getting shot in the head…
RedSpy’s last few seconds of thinking time are gone. He takes the only logical action he can think of at the moment.
He chucks the cactus.
Saguaro PI goes flying towards Hanz, who hadn't counted on this random turn of events. Hanz attempts to fire a shot at the sailing Saguaro, but it passes through the base of the cactus without seeming to do any damage. The PI lands on top of the German and begins to press his spines into the accordion-headed man. Hanz wrestles back to his feet, but he now has the giant cactus stuck to his body.
Hanz repeatedly deliver punches to the cactus, but they only cause more needles to dig through Hanz’s skin. The cactus begins to punch his foe as well, his massive fronds causing harm from both blunt force and from the spines. Hanz tries to wrestle his gun up to fire at the cactus, but Saguaro PI hugs the Doktor with his spiny arms, pinning them together in a less-than-friendly embrace.
Hanz, who now has a massive cactus stuck to him and no way to defend himself, can think of only one way to escape the situation. Hanz begins to run as best as he can away from the Spy, who had been closing the distance during the struggle between the PI and the Dr. The Spy is surprised at how Hanz was still superior in mobility to him, despite having a massive cactus stuck to him. Seriously, it was kind of illogical; Hanz must be on steroids or something. However, as the RedSpy begins to gain the speed advantage, Hanz stops on a dime and makes a 180 degree spin. Hanz charges towards the Spy, who doesn’t have enough time to properly react. Hanz rams into RedSpy Saguaro-first, pinning all three of them to the cactus.
RedSpy, however, is not being hugged by his cactus friend, and is able to eventually and very painfully remove his body from the three-way spinefest. RedSpy, now full of the spines of his friend, is in no mood for games any longer: RedSpy is done messing around; it’s time to get serious. RedSpy quickly draws his knife and slashes at Hanz, who attempts to dodge only to find out that Saguaro has rooted himself into the ground. Hanz can’t dodge in time…
Hanz’s body sinks onto the Saguaro, who begins the difficult process of
getting Hanz off his own spines. RedSpy looks around the battlefield.
The usually jovial spy is now ready to take some lives, in the same
uncaring way that the accordion-headed Nazi was willing to take his.
Meanwhile, on another part of the battlefield, Erebus and Deleter’s battle has begun.
Erebus and Deleter had been talking for a long while before their battle
began. The two seemed to have a lot in common, even though one was a
Night Lord and the other a Terran Marine. They had been watching some of
the other battles that were taking place in front of them, and they
briefly discussed Erebus taking down the Rainbow Dash. The two knew they
would have to fight eventually to please the crowd, but they wanted the
fight to be an honorable one. After their long chat, the Texan picked
back up his Impaler rifle, which had been resting on the ground during
the conversation.
“I reckon it’s time we do this, Erebus.”
The two stepped apart from each other, and walked a few paces further to increase the distance between them. They had settled on a reasonable distance where neither’s weapon had too much of an advantage. They both began to countdown.
3
2
1
Erebus turns around and charges towards the Deleter, who has opened fire with his rifle. He fires off a few shots before Erebus closes the distance, but none of them seemed to have hit his opponent anywhere that counts. Erebus slashes at the Terran’s arm, knocking the rifle out of it and onto the ground. The Deleter is now unarmed, but by no means is he unable to put up a fight. Deleter delivers a hard right hook to Erebus’s stomach which the chaos marine is able to feel despite his layers of armor. Erebus slightly stumbles from the punch to the gut but manages to swing his claws around for a second blow, this time making contact with the chest of his opponent.
Deleter feels the force of the shock and is severely disoriented. The suit isn’t reacting well either, so even when he manages to almost do something, the suit disagrees with his control. Erebus laughs at his opponent and begins to repeatedly slash the chestplate of Deleter’s armor. Each blow shocks Deleter with waves of electricity, and the fact that he is beginning to sweat does not help his situation at all. Eventually, Erebus delivers a powerful enough blow to knock the Deleter onto the ground.
Erebus looms over the Texan ominously, and his mechanical voice is heard saying, “How disappointing, I thought our battle would be much more amazing. Oh well, I guess I just underestimated my own strength, or your weakness.” Erebus begins to bring his claw down on the Deleter.
The Deleter manages to grab Erebus’s claw just in time to prevent them
from puncturing his already damaged chest armor. Electricity begins to
course through his body as he reaches for the gun, which now was only a
few inches from his reach.
Erebus struggles to push his arm down into the Deleter, and is about to whip his other claw around to finish the Texan instead when the Deleter suddenly kicks himself towards his gun, pulls it up, and fires. Erebus staggers back and looks down at where Deleter’s bullet had hit him. A massive hole now lie in the middle of his stomach. Deleter stands up and fires a few more shots, hitting Erebus again in the torso and stomach. Erebus can’t believe his armor was penetrated, he thought it was perfectly made to resist Deleter’s rifle. He looks towards the Deleter, who simply points at the magazine of his rifle.
Deleter wasn’t using regular ammo. He’s brought his depleted uranium bullets to this battle. Deleter fires one more shot from his rifle…
Erebus’s body plops to the ground, the remaining half of his face still
showing his surprise. Deleter salutes his fallen friend. It was a great
battle, and he believed they had both fought with honor. As he saluted
his fallen comrade, the shadow of a massive red dragon flew past as it
fled from the undersea dragon Ceadeus.
Up in the sky, the Crunk Wizard rode his blood red dragon, hurling bolts
of lightning and balls of fire at the massive beast that was pursuing
them. Ceadeus had managed to get a hang of moving around on land, but to
move far distances he was reduced to an odd maneuver where he’d
catapult himself with his tail. Crunk Wizard had already realized this
and was exploiting his foes mobility issues while he unleashed spell
after spell upon the water dragon.
Ceadeus was beginning to get frustrated with the whole affair though, and was trying to think of a way to knock his opponent out of the sky. He would not be able to catch his opponent, but maybe he could use his Current Storm ability to shoot them out of the sky. Ceadeus stop its awkward tail hopping and dodges a spell of the Wizard’s before it begins to buildup water in its mouth. The flying dragon stops, a bit confused from the sudden change of pace in the battle. The Wizard tries to get it to continue flying around, but before he can a blast of water strikes the dragon’s face and causes it to plummet.
The Crunk Wizard holds on for dear life and begins to try and think of a levitation spell, but the red dragon is able to right itself before hitting the ground. It flies towards Ceadeus, who it is now on the same level with. The two swipe at each other on the first pass, neither one doing much damage. On the second pass, the red dragon attempts to breath fire on its foe, but Ceadeus’s skin is too moist to start on fire. Charles Bronson Junior is about to go for a third pass when the Wizard tugs for him to go up. The dragon complies and barely misses what might have been a rather nasty bite to one of its wings.
Ceadeus is getting a bit pissed off fighting his aerial foe, but he has no choice. He has already seen Dudemanguy cheering him on in the audience, and he has no idea what would happen if he failed to live up to his end of the bargain with Devil Ed. Ceadeus looks up at the dragon. The wizard appears to be conjuring some sort of complex spell, so Ceadeus realizes he doesn’t have much time to think up a strategy.
Well, when one is it out of ideas, I guess it’s time to go back to tail catapults.
Ceadeus launches himself up towards the dragon, but this time, the Crunk Wizard is too distracted to indicate for his dragon to move. The red dragon receives the business end of the water dragon’s smaller horn. The dragon’s side is cut open and it begins to fall down to the ground. The Wizard falls from the dragon during its descent, whatever spell he was casting dissolving into purple glimmers of light. He now struggles to somehow cast a spell to save him from the fall.
Surprised by the effectiveness of the blow, Ceadeus begins to fall down with the dragon and wizard. It manages to position itself just above the dragon, and then bites down on the dragons neck.
Seconds before they hit the ground, the dragon is killed by the combined
blood loss of both its side wound and its severed jugular. The wizard,
who is positioned below the dragon in this odd falling queue, is crushed
beneath the combined weight of his dead dragon and the living one.
Ceadeus gets up from the body pile, pleased that it has managed to kill
the Wizard. Ceadeus then looks for his next target: Ogopogo, the beast
who killed the sea slug in the first place. Ceadeus roars Ogo’s name,
which distracts the Canadian lake monster from his battle with the
robots. The robots disperse as soon as Ogopogo’s name is called,
choosing to look for a new target that they wouldn’t be at such a size
disadvantage with.
Ceadeus catapults itself with its tail towards the pirate plesiosaur, who begins to propel himself with his flippers towards his fellow water monster.
Devil Ed had been watching the battle from afar, and was pleased to see
the dragon go down. However, he noticed something weird about the way
the body landed. It wasn’t laying entirely flat on the ground…
Crunk Wizard pushes himself out from under the body of his slain beast. He was surrounded by a shell of magic energy, the only defensive spell he bothered to learn before the fight. He looks towards the corpse of his once proud red dragon. He’s lost two Charles Bronsons now, but he was still in the midst of a massive battle and would have to worry about that later.
Devil Ed curses, for he still remembers the warning he was given about the wizard. Devil Ed decides he must finish the job himself, but he is interrupted from his course of action when a familiar flaming skeleton steps into view.
“You’ll do.”
Designate_5 lifts his arm and fires.
Devil Ed barely manages to dodge the powerful beam fired from the
skeleton’s Stripper Cannon. He looks towards his foe and notices that
the battlefield seems darker than it was at the beginning. He allows
himself a brief moment to look to his left and right. The sky had
definitely darkened since the beginning, but the battlefield was still
significantly bright in most places. The light seemed to be cast by two
giant fields of energy clashing somewhere near the middle. One
forcefield he recognized as the blood red one all the demons of hell
bore around them. The other, a bright white glow, he only recognized
from one other person: his angelic mother. He knew the auras must have
been the clashing good and evil blades, but at the moment he had a
skeleton he must dispose of.
Designate_5 fires another blast from his glove, missing Devil Ed once again. The half-angel pulled back his hood to allow his eyes room to fire their concussive beams. One manages to hit the necronaut square in the chest and knock him to the ground. Designate laughs again, his face looking like a skull from some emo kid’s t-shirt. “So that’s the power of those eye lasers? I thought I might be fighting someone on the same level of weapon strength as me."
Surprisingly fleet of foot for a being in so much armor, Designate dashes towards Devil Ed, who manages to fire one last shot at the skeleton before the distance is closed. This shot, however, does hit, slightly dislodging the jaw of his opponent from the rest of the skull. Designate no longer could close his mouth, and his attempt at cursing his predicament just led to an odd jaw flap. Devil Ed was quite happy to have done some damage, but now the skull was permanently stuck in the laughing position. Devil Ed tries to unleash a supercharged laser beam from his eyes. At this distance, it would definitely decimate his opponent’s entire skull. But Designate didn’t come in close for a fight. Designate grabs his opponent’s hood and pulls it down…
Massive red, black, and grey flames erupt from where Devil Ed’s head
once was. The removal of his hood has caused a strange reaction in this
world. Things begin to distort around Devil Ed’s head and Designate can
only stare on in horror as things only his eyes can see terrify him for
what seems like an eternity. Designate’s body freezes in place, his face
still stuck in that laughing grin. Devil Ed wastes no time and fires
the most powerful laser shot he can muster.
Designate’s entire body is literally cut in twain by the strength of
this blast. Devil Ed covers his head back up before he falls to the
ground. The combined effect of having his hood removed and using his
most powerful laser blast has drained much of his life away. If he
hadn’t put the hood back on before the flames cleared, his true face
would have been revealed, and no one here on Earth, in Heaven, or in
Hell, would enjoy that. Devil Ed falls to the ground; he’ll have to
recover before he can resume fighting. “I just need to take out that
Wizard,” he thinks as he begins the arduous demon healing process.
Elsewhere, the two sea creatures are locked in a heated battle.
Ceadeus and Ogopogo have been taking swings at each other for quite a
while and they were making barely any ground in their fight. Ceadeus
would try to swipe at Ogo with his horn, only to be dodged and countered
with a bite, which was also dodged. From far away, it might look like
the two were trying and failing at hugging with their necks.
Ceadeus is the first to tire of this pointless back and forth. It wants Ogo dead now, and it’s not going to sit around and wave its head anymore hoping to land a hit. Suddenly, the dots on its back begin to glow a brilliant red. Its eyes turn yellow, and its heart turns black (not literally of course). Ceadeus has entered rage mode.
Ceadeus’s movements become much quicker and his attacks more violent.
Ogopogo attempts to continue dodging them, but as horns begin to scrape
away scales from his neck, he realizes it’s time for him to up the ante
as well. Ogopogo rears back, briefly leaving his underside expose for
Ceadeus’s horn to stab right into. Ogopogo releases a loud scream, but
as he thunders back down Ceadeus realizes something: He can’t get his
horn out.
Ogopogo slams down on the sea dragon, snapping off Ceadeus’s large horn and leaving it stuck in the cryptid’s body. Ogopogo’s pain is immense, but he uses his flipper to ply the horn out and put it in his mouth. Looking more badass than ever, Ogopogo holds the horn in his mouth in a similar manner to how a pirate would hold a knife in his teeth. Ceadeus had also been in pain from the horn severing incident, but now he looked up at his opponent and realized how bad things may have just gotten.
Ogopogo jabs the horn in its mouth forward
And right into the neck of the beast! Ceadeus’s beard begins to become
stained with his own blood, and he resumes his wild thrashing in the
hope that he may land a successful hit. Ogopogo parries horn swipe after
horn swipe in what has to be the weirdest dueling scene ever to have
occurred. However, Ceadeus’s mind isn’t entirely full of rage, and that
last bit of clarity in there helps him realize that the horn might not
be the way to go with the fight. He opens his mouth and bites into the
right side of the Canadian beast’s neck.
Cap’n Ogopogo screams and begins to feel a strange sensation wash over him. He begins to feel weaker and weaker, and his tolerance for the pain in his belly is leaving him. Ceadeus smiles, he has finally inflicted his opponent with dragonblight. Ogopogo looks up weakly at Ceadeus, who is rearing his head back for a powerful swing. Ogopogo realizes he is about to die, but now he is ready to accept it. He bows his head down, but suddenly, his mind flashes back to a moment in time. He remembers the powerful words his friend Tapogrepogo said one day when he was down, words that motivated him to do his best no matter what adversity he may face:
“Honk Honk Honk Honk!”
With renewed vigor Ogopogo manages to barely dodge the oncoming horn of his opponent and then swing the horn he wielded in his own maw.
The disemboweled Ceadeus falls to ground and calls out in agony before
he passes away. Ogopogo drops the horn, no longer having enough strength
to hold the horn in his jaw. His neck has grown too weak too, and he
lies his head down on the ground next to the corpse of Ceadeus. He’d
finish this brawl later, when his strength has returned to him.
In another part of the battlefield, two robots believe they have found the perfect target to unleash their might upon.
In the middle of the arena, the battle between Widow Maker and Alex
seems to have reached a standstill. Alex is tired from having to hold
his own against the demonically powered mantis, and the strange new lust
for blood that consumes the insect is making her less and less
interested in the bloodless battle. RedSpy and Saguaro PI have just
managed to arrive at the scene of the two clashing blades, and they can
tell Alex can't hold up much longer. RedSpy approaches Alex and tells
him he’ll distract Widow Maker while he recuperates.
RedSpy runs past Widow Maker and swipes at the arm the demonic blade is attached to. She immediately notices the attempt to remove the blade and turns to RedSpy. In her mind, she realizes that the RedSpy is probably full of blood.
“Blood is good for the sword. Blood makes the sword powerful. The sword will let me win. The sword shall be my salvation. The sword will let me serve it. The sword will rule all Zoofights…”
She charges towards RedSpy at a much quicker pace than he expected. He goes running past the Crunk Wizard on his way fleeing from his former friend. All the Crunk Wizard hears as the spy passes is,
“Ohshitohshitohshitohshitohshitohshit!”
The Crunk Wizard laughs a bit at the predicament the spy got himself in, and he continues onwards to see who he can kill in this big fight.
Meanwhile, Saguaro PI is busy trying to sink his roots into the dirt and move around that way. He manages to get his body to move short distances, but he can’t really run or anything. It’s a shame too, because it just so happens it is the perfect time for him to run.
Owltomaton comes swooping in with ROB dangling from his bucket. As they pass by over the cactus, ROB empties the contents of the bucket all over the poor unsuspecting cactus:
Saguaro struggles as best it can to remove the ants from his body,
swinging his fronds wildly. His cigarette drops to the ground and kills
an ant. Hey, one ant is better than none, right? The other ants,
however, begin to burrow into the cactus’s body. The Crunk Wizard has
just arrived to where the Saguaro is and is horrified to see what is
going on. It may just look like a cactus being attacked by ants to some,
but one has to remember that this cactus can feel. Ever had a botfly larva under your skin? Multiply that by 100 and that’s what this cactus is experiencing.
The Wizard is about to remove the ants from the plant’s body with some magic when Owltomaton and ROB come by for a second sweep. They pour ants all over the Crunk Wizard as well, who now is flailing around wildly in an attempt to remove the ants.
Then, Shuma-Gorath comes into the fray and begins firing reality warping balls of energy left and right. “NOW THIS IS A BRAWL!” screams the Metal God.
The Wizard now attempts to dodge Shuma’s energy balls and wipe off the ants when suddenly ROB returns, this time in the bucket himself. Owltomaton flies him around while he shoots lightning bolts down at the Wizard and Saguaro below. The Crunk Wizard can’t take it anymore!
“Fuck it! I’m summoning zombies!”
Skeletons begin to rise from beneath the arena, their bodies held
together no longer by flesh or muscle, but only by the magic of a rather
crunk sorcerer.
In another part of the arena, the corpse of Mac Tonight begins to stir…
From the ground, four fallen fighters rise back up with renewed energy.
These four fighters have returned as one of the most overused and cliché
of horror movie monsters!
Elsewhere in the arena, Widow Maker looms over the collapsed body of
RedSpy. She’s just about to bring her blade down for a lethal blow when
she senses the presence of evil magic. She turns around and sees the
dead rising from their graves, and the corpses of previous fighters
returning to fight once more. The sword whispers to her…
“Delicious Dark Energy… Devour, Consume, Destroy!”
The blade continues to whisper to her as she charges towards the freshly reanimated creatures, desperate to feed on their blood, flesh and souls.
(And now, my friends, is the perfect time for an intermission! Go eat,
take a shower, make love to your wife, make love to your neighbor’s wife
if that’s what you're into, go get your nails did, whatever you like. The
battle will resume in approximately 16 hours. I know it seems long, but
people got to sleep sometime! Even Gezora itself needs to break for
snacks!)
(Welcome back from the intermission everyone! Let’s get this thing back up and running)
Shuma-Gorath moves with lightning speed around the Wizard, Saguaro, and two robots, firing beams of strange energy from its glowing eye. Saguaro is unable to dodge many of them and eventually the force of the blows have pushed the private investigator down on the ground as it still struggles to remove the ants. Crunk Wizard’s skeletal army has formed a massive wall between the Wizard and his foes as he hurls fireballs out at the robots and Shuma. ROB is mercilessly hurling lightning at his competitors, getting in hit after hit on the undead servants of the wizard. Deleter joins the massive battle in the middle as well, opening fire on Shuma in hopes of destroying one of the battle’s more unpredictable fighters.
Elsewhere on the battlefield, the three resting competitors have met with unexpected guests. The enchanted bone soldiers of Crunk have begun to lift the battle weary bodies of RedSpy, Devil Ed, and even the massive Ogopogo and carry them towards the arena. RedSpy is much to weak from the nearly fatal beatdown the mantis had given him to resist the skeletons grip, and Ogopogo is just as weak as its ally. Dragonblight’s effects still lingered in its system, but Ogopogo found that his skeletal carriers were most gentle with him and seemed to be harmless.
However, Devil Ed has not taken well to the approaching skeletons. He’s regained enough of his strength to put up a decent fight, breaking bones with his fists and shattering others with his eyes. He had no idea the skeletons were peaceful and he had feared they were sent to finish him off while he was weak. The dusty old bones fail to put up any decent challenge though, and he mows through the entire group sent to carry him away. Devil Ed’s beatdown of the skeletal army draws the attention of three of the zombies though. Erebus, Hanz, and Rainbow Dash come rushing towards Devil Ed.
Devil Ed never saw them coming.
But Widow Maker did.
Widow Maker leaps in front of the three zombies, her eyes red with uncontrollable rage. The undead pony is able to fly right past the mantis unharmed and Erebus dodges a sword swipe. Hanz, however, is unable to get out of the mantis’s path. Hanz’s famous nimbleness has been diminished by his decaying muscles, and his attempt at dodging just leads to him being smacked by Widow Maker’s shield. The Nazi falls to the ground and the mantis stands on his back. She stabs her opponent’s accordion head, causing the undead doctor to rear back. Her shield jabs into one of Hanz’s hands and almost cuts it entirely off. She also bites his hand with her bloodstained mandibles to keep the hand in place, preventing him from throwing her off. He manages to stand back up just as Widow Maker’s blade sinks in deep enough to unleash the evil energy keeping the doctor alive.
The first zombie is down, but the others still walk and desire the flesh
of the living. Erebus and Rainbow Dash have begun a dual assault on
Devil Ed, who is trying his best to repel them with his laser eyes. He
doesn’t fear the little pony, her undead state makes her incapable of
reaching the deadly speeds she reached earlier, but Erebus’s claws were
still electrified. Devil Ed launches blast after blast at Erebus, but
Erebus’s body is already full of holes, and a few more don’t slow him
down. His claws slash into the half-demon, electrifying him and making him
drop to the ground. Rainbow Dash grins a rather morbid grin as she
reaches down to begin feasting on the stunned man’s flesh. The two of
them were too distracted to see Widow Maker coming.
Widow Maker swings her blade wildly, cutting Erebus’s entire top half off. His legs fall limply to the ground, but he still manages to pull himself along with his claws. Rainbow Dash tries to fly off but Widow Maker jumps up on to her back, slamming her down to the ground. Widow Maker lifts up her blade to destroy the undead filly when suddenly, the praying mantis was ambushed.
You remember that there were 4 zombies, right? Well, apparently Widow Maker didn’t, because Mac Tonight managed to get behind her and bite her on her shield arm. The Mantis swings her blade around in a circle, entirely removing the moon man’s moon head from its body, but he still remained on her arm, his teeth sunk into the insect’s exoskeleton.
Widow Maker proceeds to scrape Mac’s head of her arm and drive her
demonic blade into it. The magic keeping the zombie alive leaks out, but
now instead of being absorbed by the mantis’s blade, it sinks instead
into her wounded arm…
Widow Maker’s red aura grows and now glows a deeper blood red…
The two remaining zombies try to continue their attack on Widow Maker,
but she has begun to move much more quickly. Before Rainbow Dash can
even begin to get back in the air, the praying mantis is beside her and
is digging her blade into the pony’s side, carving the unfortunate
zombie in twain.
Widow Maker begins to cut the pony’s body into smaller and smaller
chunks until it finds the source of the pony’s life. The dark energy
flows out of what remains of Rainbow Dash and flows into the open wound
on Widow Maker’s arm. The dark energy fuels the mantis and makes her
even quicker and stronger, but deep within her mind, a struggle was
taking place.
What still remained of Widow Maker’s mind was desperately trying to resist a new corrupting influence. The sword unleashed Widow Maker’s rage and dissolves all inhibitions, but it had not ever seized actual control of her mind until now. The last thought that runs through her uncontrolled mind is one of regret. She regretted allowing this blade to lead her actions, to cause her to hurt her friends, and probably most of all, regret that she has been eating some of her competitors…
The dark energy has taken full control of the mantis. Widow Maker turns to the last of the zombies, the pitiful upper half of Erebus. Her blade begins to grow in size, and she runs towards the remains of the once intimidating Night Lord and cuts him to shreds.
Another stream of red energy flows into her arm, and she begins to mutate.
Alex the Janitor is no longer exhausted and begins to seek out his foe, the tainted Widow Maker. By now he had realized the sword must have controlled her when she struck down Sarah, but that did not mean his anger towards the mantis was lessened at all. She has unleashed an evil force upon everyone, and since he believed he was the only one on the battlefield with any holy force on his side, he must be the one to strike her down. He runs past the massive melee in the middle towards where he had last seen the mantis run off to, but he did not need to look much farther to find her.
The now massive mutated frame of Widow Maker stood high above Alex,
glowing with a red aura so large that it made anything behind her
impossible to see. The weakened Devil Ed can only look up in horror at
the back of the beast, and he is grateful that Alex’s holy force
distracted her. Devil Ed is the only other person on the battlefield
with anything akin to holy powers due to his half-angel mother, and if
Alex couldn’t take down the monstrous mantis, it would be all up to him.
Alex pulls back his sword, and Widow Maker unleashes an indescribable sound before it rears back to begin attacking the warrior dressed in a cleaner’s clothes.
The massive sword arm of the large unholy insect comes crashing down
towards Alex, who only barely manages to dodge the weapon’s blade. The
massive force that brought the blade down causes a massive crater to
form in its wake. She then pulls the blade back up and slices the air,
causing a giant red beam to fire towards Alex. The beam hits Alex
dead-on and launches him far across the arena. Alex lands on the ground
far from the massive mantis and cringes in pain. His back had absorbed
the blunt of his fall and although it was not broken, it nearly
incapacitated him with the amount of pain he felt when he attempted to
move. It’s déjà vu all over again, but this time it wasn’t a creature
that was considered almost too weak to be counted as a weapon cringing
from back pain, but the only hope of defeating the overpowered
monstrosity that now stood higher than anyone the bar has seen before.
The mantis’s many legs scuttle towards the body of Alex. Devil Ed doesn’t need to be able to see Alex’s body to know something went wrong, and he stands back up and begins to charge the best laser he can. This may drain the last of his life force, but he’ll be damned if he allows this mantis to win the tournament. If it wasn’t stopped now, it might destroy the entire bar, all of Zoofights, and maybe even the world, but worst of all, he might destroy Devil Ed’s only true friend: the Roomba.
The massive eye beam of Devil Ed soars towards the back of Widow Maker’s head. Her unholy forces allow her to sense its approach and turn around, but the demonic power failed to inform her of just how powerful the beam coming towards her was. The beam strikes her forehead and causes a massive rupture to form, but rather than any blood spilling out, the evil energy begins to pour forth in a massive red wave. The red aura weakens around the bug’s frame, allowing Alex to see the new wound spraying forth dark energy. He struggles to get to his feet, and barely manages to prop himself up when he sees two tiny figures flying towards him.
Owltomaton and ROB had spotted the massive mantis from the middle of the battlefield, and the two-way communication they had installed in them by Sintendo allowed them to communicate and agree to go and try and take down the corrupted Widow Maker. Devil Ed’s beam had ruptured the mantid’s head before they got there, but they saw Alex on the ground and knew just how to help defeat the creature. Owltomaton swung ROB around in the bucket tied to his foot so ROB could grab onto the wounded janitor. The owl struggled to lift them up into the sky as the flailing monstrosity attempted to swipe at them with its blade.
Deep within the mind of the massive mantid though, a renewed battle took place. The dark energy unleashed by the devil’s lasers had forced much of the dark energy to retreat from her mind. All that remained of Widow Maker’s personality, memories, and spirit remained in that bit of her mind that now desperately struggled for dominance over what remained of the evil influence. As she saw the owl flying towards her with Alex and ROB in tow, she knew what she had to do to rid herself of the demonic influence. With one last push of willpower, Widow Maker pulled the shield and sword away from her body and allowed Alex to jump onto her chest. He dug Excalibur into her and began to slide down the beast’s abdomen.
Widow Maker’s body releases all its evil energy and shrinks back down to
its normal size. Alex, ROB, and Owltomaton check the damaged
exoskeleton to make sure she is truly dead, but they jump back as they
hear her say,
“Thank you…”
The body crumbles to dust, but there is something tiny amidst the remains of the mantis…
A tiny baby Widow Maker looked up at the three and smiled.
"Um...," said Alex,"Is 'Baby' a status effect? Maybe someone could Esuna this thing..."
On the wind, a voice from the now stagnant blade is barely heard saying "to harrsh dufes..."
"Hey, I'm not really a baby you know."
Gezora drops the baby, startled. I mean, who has ever heard of a talking baby? Widow Maker explains to the referee that in that last second of desperate internal struggle, Excalibur had purified her and allowed her to be reborn, albeit at the beginning of life. She continues to prattle on for a while, theorizing that she could just find someone to accelerate her aging a bit, but Gezora interrupts:
"Reincarnation is not allowed! Widow Maker's KO stands!"
Widow Maker is clearly pissed, but her now much bigger foes would undoubtedly be able to simply squish her if she continued the fight, so she concedes defeat and goes with Gezora to the sidelines. She sighs, saddened that another victory has slipped from her hands. She swears though that next time she would fight with her own abilities, rather than those of an obviously demonic weapon.
Elsewhere, the nearly dead frame of Devil Ed is being lifted by the Crunk Wizard's skeletons. No longer able to resist their grasp, he is carried over towards the Wizard and the melee in the middle. RedSpy and Ogopogo’s weak bodies already lay at his feet, but the Wizard did not desire to kill them (yet). However, this Devil Ed character seemed like someone who warranted his immediate and lethal attention.
As Devil Ed is drawn in close to his destination, his vision clears up enough to see the Wizard close by. It was his mother’s prophecy coming true…
”Carried by the fallen
Flesh shall melt from bone
My son shall meet his end
If the Wizard still breathes”
Flesh shall melt from bone
My son shall meet his end
If the Wizard still breathes”
He had hoped his trip to Hell and his deal with Ceadeus would have been able to change the prophecy’s outcome, but now the Wizard stood before him smugly, ready to deliver death unto him. Devil Ed struggles to get free from his holders, but he can’t escape their bony grasp. Devil Ed kicks and screams as he begins to force the last sliver of his life force into his laser eye.
Devil Ed is plopped on his knees in front of this Crunk Wizard. The Wizard laughs and taunts his half-demon foe:
“I’ve been waiting for someone to test this new badboy out on.”
The Crunk Wizard opens his mouth and releases an acid cloud from inside his lungs. The magical acid breath floats towards the half-angel’s face…
Devil Ed’s face begins to melt away, but his laser eye, now filled with
all of his remaining life force, fires and burns half of the Wizard’s
face. The Crunk Wizard reels in pain and trips over the Saguaro behind
him. In anger, he zaps the cactus with some lightning and begins to reel
in pain from his scorched face. Meanwhile, Saguaro reels in pain from
the flames caused by the lightning bolt.
Alex the Janitor and the two robots had arrived to the melee in the middle of the arena just in time to see Devil Ed perish, but they also saw RedSpy and Ogopogo’s weakened bodies. Dragonblight was finally wearing off on the pirate plesiosaur, but the massive wound in its belly ached more than ever. RedSpy was simply too wounded to really move at all. Alex approached his two friends placed Excalibur’s scabbard on them. Their bleeding wounds healed up almost instantaneously.
“That thing can heal people?” the RedSpy asks Alex, feeling much better now.
“The scabbard of Excalibur prevents its wearer from bleeding. Unlike Excalibur, it’s not very picky about who can wield it.”
“Arr, can I have it the whole battle then?” says the Cap'n, whose bleeding had halted but its internal injuries were still present.
Before Alex could be badgered out of his sword’s scabbard though, their attention is drawn to Shuma-Gorath, who has now focused his exclusive deadly attention on the three of them.
Shuma bears down on the three from above, waving his tentacles to
intimidate his foes. He seems relatively unscathed from his heated
battle with the Deleter. In fact, the Deleter was still firing at Shuma
even though its attention had shifted to three other competitors.
Shuma’s tentacles grab Alex and the RedSpy and begin to suffocate the
two. Ogopogo lashes upward with its mouth and manages to grab one of the
Metal God’s tentacles and begins to slam the tentacle beast repeatedly
into the ground. Unfortunately for Alex and RedSpy, Shuma never releases
his grip, meaning that they too were getting repeatedly mashed into the
ground by the plesiosaur’s renewed strength. They both scream for the
captain to stop, but it can’t hear them over Deleter’s constant gunfire.
Ogopogo is only interrupted when it is struck by a massive blast of electricity. The electricity courses through its body and is transferred into Shuma’s body and its two captives. The shock manages to at least cause Shuma’s grip to lessen, allowing the electrified spy and janitor to tumble out and back onto the ground. Ogopogo looks to the source of the electricity as if it was even a mystery who made it. Once again, the robot duo has flown in with their lightning barrage. Ogopogo turns to the robots, choosing to finish the battle he had started much earlier in the brawl with the two tiniest combatants.
Shuma turns to the three humans who now faced it alone. Shuma’s eye… grins? Smiles? It looks happy, alright? Anyway, Shuma is ready to devastate these puny fleshlings, and he won’t even need to use his energy beams. Deleter begins to open fire at the big eye once again, but Shuma has grown used to this attack plan by now and simply fazes through the bullets. RedSpy cloaks himself, and begins to position himself on the opposite side of Shuma, but Shuma instantly notices the RedSpy’s absence and flails his tentacles about on his flanks.
One strikes the spy down to the ground, disabling the cloaking. Shuma is on the Spy in an instant, grabbing the spy with his tentacles. RedSpy swings his knife wildly, managing to entirely remove two of Shuma’s tentacles. Deleter’s rifle manages to land a few bullets on the tentacled horror’s back as it begins to lift the spy above its head. Alex is running towards the monster with his sword raised, ready to slay another monstrosity.
Shuma now has the Spy raised above him, a tentacle gripping all the spy’s limbs and his head. The spy screams in pain as Shuma says in its horrific voice:
“ONLY COWARDS USE CLOAKING. COWARDS DON’T DESERVE TO LIVE!”
Alex and Deleter halt their attack, shocked by the gruesome manner
Shuma-Gorath KO’d the poor RedSpy. Members of the audience cringed and
even Gezora was shocked by his distant relative’s method of murder.
Shuma realizes everybody was staring at him in horror…
“DID YOU REALLY NOT EXPECT THAT FROM A METAL GOD? WAS IT REALLY WORSE THAN ANYTHING ELSE HERE?”
After the shock of the Spy’s unfortunate demise wears off, Cap’n Ogopogo turns back to his battle with the two small machines.
Owltomaton flies around, still wielding the bucket it carries its friend
ROB around in. While ROB seemed relatively safe in the bucket,
Owltomaton was always getting the blunt of his opponents attacks during
the battle, but his programming seemed to urge him to remain vigilante
and protect the Sintendo product at all costs.
Ogopogo was lashing out at his foes with his fangs, never able to truly get his mouth around the tiny owl. He knew not to bite the electrified machine that dangled from a rope on the owl’s leg, and it was beginning to doubt it was a good idea to try and bite a robot at all. Ogopogo ceases its attack so it may think about how it can take down the bird-bot and regular-bot.
Well, no one has used the tornadoes strategically for a while…
Ogopogo starts to pull its massive body away from the battle and towards one of the spinning vortexes that still littered the battlefield. As it drew closer to one of them, its mechanical pursuers found themselves sucked towards the vortex much sooner than the cryptid. The tornadoes lift them high in the sky, ripping some of their looser metal plates and upgrades from their bodies
In the cyclone, ROB ends up separated from the bucket it had begun to enjoy as a new home. Owltomaton hoots in distress as it’s separated from its Robotic Operating Buddy. They are thrown out from the tornado in opposite directions, and Ogopogo decided to target the more dangerous of the two first. It rushes as best it can towards ROB who is lying on the ground and struggling to right itself back onto its base. Ogopogo approaches it and rears up for a body slam, but ROB…
Wait, ROB doesn't do anything…
Ogopogo slams down on the motionless robot and connects directly with a powerful electrical field. ROB’s electricity has become a powerful, impenetrable forcefield! Ogopogo’s insides are rocked by the shock, and its internal injuries worsen. Organs are fried and blood begins to spill into the spaces between bodily structures. Ogopogo throws itself off to the side of the robot and onto its back, where it writhes in pain from damage unseen to the naked eye.
Owltomation flies back to its buddy and scoops it back into its bucket. The ROB begins to fling electrical bolts at its opponent once more, but the sea serpent has grown tired of all the electrical warfare and rolls back onto its stomach in spite of the pain. Ogopogo’s maw once again opens wide and stretches towards the bots. Its mouth makes contact and clamps down on hard metal!
The hard metal of an electrified bucket
Ogopogo’s internal organs have been entirely destroyed by the massive
shock delivered straight down its windpipe. Its insides give out, and
his last thought before death is, "See you in Davy Jones' Locker, or
whatever the pirate equivalent of heaven is...".Its muscles tense from
the shock and the bucket is crushed in his mouth. ROB tumbles to the
ground and Owltomaton tries desperately to catch its friend, but it
can’t reach it in time.
ROB is mere inches above the ground when suddenly an electrical field suspends ROB in the air in the way that only a comic book could get away with explaining. ROB sends a message to its partner that they should fight on their own now that only seven fighters remain. The owl doesn’t know why it’s partner would want to split up, but it has no choice but to agree.
Elsewhere, a flaming cactus seeks revenge…
The Saguaro did not join this battle so it could be tossed around,
burnt, and devoured. It came to prove a cactus can kill, and by Jove
would he kill that Wizard. He had a terrible rage building in him as
ants dug into his body earlier, but he could not seek revenge on his
high-flying foe due to mobility issues. But now the Wizard, who he had
previously regarded as an ally if not someone to ignore until near the
end of the battle, had set him aflame because he was simply in the way
of the Wizard’s walking. The fire had managed to burn off most of the
ants except those deepest inside of him, and some obvious “fire ant”
puns came to mind, but he still was alive, and he wasn’t going down
easily.
The PI had an advantage over most of his other foes: he was a sentient plant. No one had any idea how that worked, so they had no idea where his weakpoint would be. Saguaro pushed his fronds against the ground and lifted himself back up off the ground. He sunk his roots into the ground and began to try and throw dirt on himself to put out the flames, but his lack of fingers prevented any dirt from lifting off the ground. The cactus realized he would probably burn to death unless he could find a way to put out the flames, and his two greatest allies who might have been able to help him do so had just been electrocuted and torn apart.
The Flaming Saguaro (which would be a great Luchadore name) realized his flame wasn’t all bad though. He may be experiencing more pain than any other fighter on the battlefield, but he was now a walking inferno. His roots begin to propel himself through the ground and towards the wizard, who was busy trying to tend to the scorched side of his face. The few remaining skeletal minions the Wizard had noticed Saguaro before him and blocked his path to the ailing magician. Amidst the skeletons was a familiar figure.
The skeleton of Designate_5 stood before Saguaro, his two halves held together only by the lingering necromancy of the Crunk sorcerer. His armor was gone; when the other skeletons had gone to retrieve wounded combatants and bring them towards the battle, some had pulled apart Designate’s magic blocking suit to allow him to serve under the same master as them. Of course, that meant that before Saguaro stood the naked figure of Designate, only discernable by his flaming blue skull. Designate began to throw punches into the cactus’s body, and unlike some of the fleshier fighters, its hand did not get covered in spines. Saguaro’s usually sturdy exterior caves in from the punches, now weakened by the flames and ants.
Saguaro began to lash out at his skeletal foe with his own fronds, and for the first time in the fight we see a full-on match of fisticuffs, even if one isn’t technically using fists. As the fistfight reaches fever pitch, the cactus manages to deliver a hefty blow to the center of his foe’s skull. Designate’s head splits in two and once again the body tumbles to the ground, but the blue flame of Designate now spread all over the cactus body, mingling with the Wizard’s magical red flame that engulfed its body already. Soon, it is ignited in a strange purple flame. If the Saguaro had anime eyes, they’d probably glow purple right now.
The investigator, now aflame with the strange violet light, pushes through the other skeletons with ease. Its movements are a lot more fluid through the dirt, but its life was reaching its end. The purple flame seemed to boost his own power, but it also burned through him more quickly. But the new flame gave him the agility to reach Crunk before his opponent could escape. He tries to escape the cactus’s spiny grip and purple flame by casting spells, but the magic is simply absorbed harmlessly in the violet fire. Saguaro stares down his opponent and with his last words says:
“BURN WITH ME!”
The Wizard burns to death in his arms just before he passes away
himself. He managed to see himself kill that goddamn wizard, and despite
the insufferable pain he had suffered in battle, that bit of revenge
made the suffering all worthwhile.
Meanwhile, the battle with Shuma has reached a vital turning point.
Alex and the Deleter have been struggling with Shuma while combatant
after combatant met their deaths around them. Shuma seemed to be playing
with them, refusing to use its special abilities and instead choosing
to simply grapple with its foes. The sad part was that it was very
effective. Every blow that Alex was able to get in on one of the Metal
God’s tentacles was greeted with a barrage of strikes to his own injured
back. The Deleter’s gunshots barely ever made contact with his foe, and
rarely ever did they do damage when they hit. The Deleter was beginning
to doubt the effectiveness of his Uranium bullets on the beast, so with
his next reload he swapped out the special bullets with regular metal
ones. When he finally landed a hit on Shuma with his new ammo, he saw
the bullet tear through a tentacle and disable it. Shuma is pissed now
that he’s lost a rather large bunch of tentacles. Soon, he’d just be an
eyeball…
Around the same time the bullet tore through one of the monster’s tentacles, Owltomaton had flown in to help his friends defeat the brawl’s last big monster. That also means the tiny robot came in at the same time the eldritch competitor has decided to switch back to energy attacks. Beams begin to fire from its eye, shooting the owl down to the ground as soon as it came into view. The birdbot was surprised it got this far, but it didn’t want to go down to an enemy, it wanted to go down in an honorable battle with a friend, preferably one who he had formerly trounced in a strange video game from the future. The owl’s wing begins to shift; another Sintendo upgrade becomes apparent as the metallic feathers turn into a fully functioning repair kit. The owl begins to repair itself as Shuma’s energy beams begin to hit the other fighters. Alex falls to the ground from the force of the blow, his back finally breaking from the pressure. Shuma bears down on the former Warrior, reaching for the janitor’s limbs and prepared to repeat its controversial killing method.
It’s at that moment that ROB arrives and zaps the green eyeball with a supercharged electric shock. Shuma slams Alex down on the ground in pain and flees firing eye beams at the electrically charged robot, seeking to instead take down the Deleter. The beam glances ROB, taking a tiny chunk out of ROB’s chassis. Alex thanks the little robot, but ROB has no sense of gratitude and flies towards Alex on its electrical current. It lands next to Alex on the ground and Alex smiles at the small machine, but the robot isn’t there to help a friend: ROB sees an easy kill. Its programming tells it to drive the steak knife into Alexander Triden.
ROB’s knife drives directly through Alex’s heart.
“How appropriate,” thought Alex, “a broken heart.” Alex drifts into death, his last thoughts about Sarah, the girl of his dreams, whose life he had risked by bringing her on a simple date…
(And with that, we reach the second intermission! Sleep, launch fireworks, mourn the loss of your favorite fighter, party for the fighters who still stand, make love to you neighbor's wife again just for kicks, I won't judge you! Just be back here in 18 hours for the epic conclusion as the Final Four face-off!)
(Welcome back from the final intermission! It’s time to finish this massive brawl!)
ROB tries to pull its knife free from Alex’s wound, but it appears the steak knife is stuck in Alex’s body. It lets go of the knife, leaving it still lodged in the warrior’s chest as the robot goes back to join the battle between the final four.
Shuma-Gorath has begun to pull out all the stops in his battle against the Deleter and the bots. It’s former battle plan involved simple grappling and projectile attacks, but now that there were only three opponents left, it begins to kick it up a notch.
Shuma begins to teleport around the three opponents, each time jabbing them with tentacles transformed into a razor sharp point. Luckily for all three of its opponents, they were all covered with strong metals that prevented these tentacle jabs from doing any serious damage. ROB though, in its electrical shield, is entirely resistant to these attempted physical attacks, instead leading to Shuma getting electrocuted.
The Deleter, between the lightning fasts jabs of its green opponent, notices its failed attempts to jab ROB, and goes and lifts the tiny robot up and onto his own shoulder. ROB sends a strong electrical current through the Deleter, but he manages to tough out the initial shock until the ROB determines it’s more strategic not to shock its new ride. Owltomaton now gets knocked around exclusively since Shuma can’t get in close to the newly electrically charged Terran. The owl hoots repeatedly as the tentacles dent its armor but also jab into the tiny open bits still found on its body despite its upgraded armor.
Down below, the two fighters try to get a bead on the constantly disappearing Metal God, but whenever one attempts to launch an attack, the tentacled monstrosity moves away and Owltomaton receive the damage. It’s able to take ROB’s lightning strikes without harm due to Sintendo’s upgrades to the owl’s insides, but Deleter’s bullets keep nicking off more of the junk that makes up Owltomaton’s insides. Deleter realizes he should probably hold off on the gunfire until Shuma’s position remains consistent.
Owltomaton begins to try and fly away from the teleporting abomination’s tentacle volley, but it suddenly finds itself surrounded by a giant green bubble. Shuma’s eye floats above Owltomaton in this giant bubble, and the voice of the Lord of Chaos comes towards the owl from every direction:
“WANT TO SEE THE DIMENSION OF CHAOS?”
Suddenly, Shuma and the owl disappear from the battlefield. Deleter and ROB look around, seeing if their opponent had simply teleported elsewhere, but neither competitor is anywhere to be seen. Gezora and Jumpropeman begin to discuss whether or not there should be disqualification, but they reason that as long as the fighters return soon, they won’t count it against them. It would be a bit lame to disqualify any competitors simply because they left they arena.
Meanwhile, in the dimension of chaos, a tiny robot owl faces the now enormous body of Shuma. Its tentacles have been repaired by chaos magic and it is now as large as a planet. Owltomaton’s system searches for an audio file suitable for the situation, but all curse word files are zipped and inaccessible to the tiny birdbot. Shuma’s laugh rings out through the entire dimension, but the owl has learned something this battle. It may be meek, it may be small, but this owl robot can do amazing things. Owltomaton has no idea how to go about attacking the massive Metal God, but it has a feeling the eye bigger than the Asian continent might be a good target. The robot flies towards the giant glowing eye, but Shuma’s face begins to shift into massive jaws that lash forward, eating the robot.
Shuma transforms back into its regular human-sized form and figures it’s about time to return to the battlefield. It teleports back into the arena, where Deleter and ROB resume their assault on it. But within the Metal God, the birdbot tumbles through a strange yellow void. It believes it has lost, it’s been KO’d and lost to the beast it swore it wouldn’t lose to, but suddenly four groups of people appear, all of them with instruments or microphones in their hands. It was the Big Four: Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer and Megadeth. The four speak in unison:
“Never before have we seen a bird so metal in both the literal and figurative sense. Not many creatures can claim to have charged a monstrosity bigger than a planet. We four imbue upon you, Owltomaton, the new mantle of Metal God. Go, and claim your rightful place. Slay Shuma-Gorath.”
Back on the battlefield, Shuma-Gorath is wailing upon Deleter and ROB with energy balls launched from its tentacles. Every energy balls that fails to hit its foe tears open a rift in space-time, and every one that does hit rocks the atoms that make up ROB and Deleter. Shuma begins to launch towards its foes, ready to take them to the chaos dimension so he can snack on them to finish the match, but something stirs within its eye. Shuma can do nothing as the new god of metal bursts through its eyeball, music accompanying its epic reentry. The owl, whose harddrive now flowed with every song in existence, had picked the one that seemed most appropriate. It wasn’t quite metal, but the birdbot was a new metal god, and it would learn the distinction between metal, punk, and hardcore later. Right now, it had an abomination to slay.
Owltomaton flew around the back of the green monstrosity and grabbed the top of its spherical body, holding it still for the other two. ROB’s lightning strikes the Lord of Chaos, paralyzing it and preventing its escape as Deleter launched bullet after bullet into the already damaged eye.
Owltomaton lets go off the corpse of the former god of chaos, and another song file plays to celebrate their victory, this time more appropriately metal.
Deleter realizes that it is now him against the two tiny robots, and he
also realizes he shouldn’t have ROB on his shoulder anymore. Deleter
reaches up to grab ROB and tosses the electrified Sintendo product up
towards the new Metal God. ROB makes contact with the owl, knocking them
both to the ground. Internal messages between the two reunite them in
an alliance against the only remaining organic competitor.
The Terran pops the uranium bullets back into his rifle. He stood before the two tiniest fighters who entered the brawl; two robots who managed to survive the attacks of monstrosities on a battlefield now littered with corpses, cyclones, and space-time rips. He couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of his situation as he began to open fire on the two remaining competitors.
“’ey Mr. Owl, I like yer’ tunes, but I got somethin’ better.”
Within his suit, the marine fiddles with the controls to something unseen. Suddenly, the loud booming music of “Terran Up The Night” rings out from his armor. He laughs and blasts bullet after bullet of depleted uranium at the two robots that flew above him. Owltomaton struggles to dodge, still relying on his damaged wings for flight. All the power of Metal couldn’t make this owl’s wings any better at flying, perhaps Sintendo should have focused more on its flight capabilities rather than its ability to properly tote ants around the arena.
ROB had no difficulty avoiding the gunfire on its electrical currents. It made constants sweeps by the Deleter to launch a barrage of electricity before the Deleter could even land a single shot. The marine knew ROB was the stronger of the two foes and thus harder to kill, but he knew if he focused only on the malfunctioning machine that Owltomaton might come out of nowhere and take him down like it did to Shuma. He stops firing bullets at the owl and ROB, hoping to draw them in close for an old fashioned close-range scuffle.
Owltomaton has no idea its being lured in and dives straight towards the space marine. It tries to play a metal track to accompany its descent, but “Terran Up the Night” drowned out even the loudest thrash metal in its databanks. Owltomaton could only theorize as to how loud the song must sound within the Terran’s suit, but it hadn’t the time to worry about such nonsense. The owl goes in close to the Deleter’s helmet, hoping to bust open the glass with its razor sharp talons, but Deleter’s massive metal fist comes up and decks the spot where a regular owl’s family jewels might be. The owl is thrown upwards by the blow, and before it can right itself by flapping its wings both of the Deleter’s hands slam down on it, throwing the owl to the ground. The owl hoots in anguish as parts of it scatter on the dirt ground.
Deleter pulls its rifle back around to deliver a finishing blast to the owl's head, but ROB zaps the rifle away from his hands. ROB has flown by for another lightning sweep, and Deleter’s grown tired of the repetitive attack plan. But what can you expect from Sintendo, masters of video game bosses who use the same attacks repeatedly whether they are effective or not?
Deleter punches through ROB’s strong electrical shield, delivering a powerful blow to the ROB’s base and sending it tumbling to the ground. The marine’s hair has become singed from so much contact with electricity, and he was beginning to become a bit nauseous as well. He hoped that he’d be able to hold down his vomit during the battle, the mechsuit was already uncomfortable enough without his own partially-digested meals sloshing about in it.
Now with both robots on the ground, he retrieves his rifle and chooses to try and blast the ROB’s head off instead, such an opening could not be passed up. But as he approached ROB’s body he was attacked from behind by the robotic owl, still fighting with the combined might of an owl, a robot, and a fledgling Metal God. Unfortunately, that amount of might proved to be rather small, as its talons managed to only scratch the Terran’s armor paint. The Deleter whips his rifle’s barrel around and slaps Owltomaton back onto the ground, this time busting one of its wings in the process. The owl tries to fly, but one of the wings just flaps feebly and fails to give the owl any lift. It hoots a sad sound file as the space marine comes up from behind and punts the little owl far down the battlefield. Had there been a yellow goalpost 20 yards away, he would have just scored a field goal.
The Deleter begins to feel bad for the owl as it sails through the air though, and he tells himself to go and finish the job without putting the owl through any more violence. The Deleter runs off to where the owl had landed with a large spray of sparks, but lightning once again comes rushing towards him, this time striking his feet. The Deleter falls down face-first into the dirt, one of his legs seemingly stunned from the electricity’s power. Within his right leg, certain nerves had been fried by the last shock. From the knee down, his right leg was now dead weight.
The Deleter stood himself back up with difficulty. The strength of the suit managed to support him despite his weakened leg, but movement was still difficult. He opened fire on ROB as he continued to walk backwards towards the body of the mechanical owl. Some nick open ROB’s chassis, but none do any permanent or crippling damage. The Robotic Operating Buddy ceases its electrical assault on the Deleter to rebuild its own electric shield, which Deleter’s hand had shattered earlier.
Owltomaton hooted in despair. Its new found power of Metal helped it survive Shuma’s attack, but it appears that the Deleter would be the one to take him out now. He laid his face down on the ground and accepted his fate. Deleter dragged his right leg along as he approached the damaged Owltomaton. The hooter looks up at the space marine, and nods as best it can. It lays its head back down, ready for its fate. Deleter placed his healthy leg on top of the owl’s back to keep it still…
“I’m sorry ‘bout this. It’ll be quick and painless…”
Deleter’s finger trembles as he forces himself to pull the trigger.
The ROB had witnessed the KO from faraway, at first staring
unflinchingly at the two as the owl realized it was time to die. But as
that uranium bullet destroyed the owl’s hardrive, something strange in
ROB’s own robotic mind happened. For some strange reason, ROB’s
directive to kill Deleter intensified. Was it perhaps to compensate in
blood for Sintendo’s losses in upgrading the owl? No, it wasn’t that.
ROB couldn’t identify what was going on in its own hardrive, but losing
the owl seemed to motivate it to kill Deleter even more. The electricity
around ROB begins to intensify; hard snaps and crackles are heard as
the ROB returns to the air on electrical currents, charging towards the
Deleter with murder in its eyes.
But suddenly, both ROB and the Deleter look towards the arena’s entrance. The audience gasps, and Jumpropeman and Gezora scramble onto the battlefield as they see the new figure approach the robot and the marine who now looked on in awe of who had just entered the battlefield.
Everyone in the audience recognized this fellow. Everybody knew, it was Major Failure.
The Major looks around the battlefield disapprovingly. All the biggest
voters and betters for the Zoofights tournament lay in shreds.
Jumpropeman nervously tries to explain to him that there are plenty of
people more than capable of healing up the fallen fighters, but Major
Failure turns to him and says,
“In case you hadn’t noticed, Jumpropeman, I’m going to be holding another Zoofight rather soon between a transgender bull and a cybernetic praying mantis. I had no trouble with the smaller Fite Yer’ Mates battles, but this brawl is wiping out the entire Zoofights crowd. I wouldn’t be surprised if the fight doesn't even have three people left alive in the stands at this rate! I don’t want to be the bad guy, but it looks like I’m going to have to shut this fight down.”
Some members of the audience begin to protest, but everyone knows they’d gladly bend to the Major’s will in the end. Zoofights is why they came here, and if they had to sacrifice some of their other entertainments to see the brutes battle in the arena, so be it. The major begins to apologize to the crowd, he knows his decision is controversial, but he does it out of love for his faithful fans. He can't bear to see them tear each other apart for sport like his animals do in their arena. The spirits of the fans begin to lift as the major talks of more amazing Zoofights battles down the road, battles that are sure to get their blood pumping more than any fight between any mates! Soon, the crowd is cheering the praises of Major Failure, all but forgetting there was even a brawl going on a couple minutes ago.
That is, until something happens on the battlefield. One of the tears in space-time created by Shuma begins to expand.The entire sky of the arena begins to fill with wisps of red and white light. Widow Maker’s sword, which had been lying dormant in her exoskeleton’s remains, begins to shake and glow once more. Suddenly, a figure can be made out emerging from the portal. From high in the sky, two familiar words ring out:
“Hey Dufes!”
Everybody looked up in terror at the all-too-familiar fellow who now
emerged from the rift in space. He laughed his signature, chilling laugh
until he noticed the red blade trembling on the ground.
“I wav wundrin ware I pput tha!”
The red blade flies up into the air, towards Hella Jeff’s face. He opens his mouth and ingests the glowing red sword.
“DALISHIOSO!”
Suddenly, Jeff begins to mutate. The world around him begins to distort as the entire planet begins to take on illogical shapes. Strange sounds fill the air as Hella Jeff’s new form settles…
“Im lokin priti bosss now!”
Once everyone snaps out of the horror of Jeff’s return and new form, they notice something spilling out of Helluva Jeff’s massive second mouth. They look sort of like Sweet Bro, but these creatures had mutated into strange insect beasts, each with an individual Geromy riding them.
The beasts go rushing towards the remaining fighters and the crowd.
Major Failure draws out a pistol and begins to open fire on the Sweet
Brobeasts, shooting down one that had been dangerously close to the
crowd. The Deleter begins firing his own rifle at the beasts as well,
and ROB uses his electricity like a bug zapper to bring some down.
Jumpropeman pulls out his minigun Sasha and opens fire as well.
Members of the crowd flee as some of the beasts land in the stand and
begin feasting on some spectators. Some of the spectators fight back
though! Gentleman Draco begins to devour the Brobeasts as Alex (the
robot, not the janitor) begins to fire lasers to sear others. Cornwind Evil whips out her latest package, the Pandora’s Box, and begins to
morph it into weaponry to take down the bugs. Faust, with his
polearm that he snuck in, begins to behead some of the beasts as well.
Helluva Jeff sits in the sky, ripping chunks of space itself out with his giant claw and hurling them towards the ground. Deleter realizes that something must be done about Jeff, but he couldn’t get all the way up there himself. He looks over at the tiny electrified ROB, and begins cooking up a plan. Deleter runs out on the battlefield as best as he can, shooting down any brobeasts that dare get near him. He runs towards Saberwulf’s abandoned briefcase and pries the lid off in his rush to get to its contents. He looks through the remaining vials until he finds the ones labeled “JEFF” and pulls them out, taking special care not to crush them in his own massive metal hands.
He returns to ROB and hands the unit his rifle and the vials. ROB looks at them confused, but suddenly Deleter is picking up the Sintendo product and hurling it towards Helluva Jeff! ROB picks up some electrical currents to ride as it flies past more and more brobeasts, zapping any of them who get too close with its electrical shield. ROB manages to fly all the way up to Helluva Jeff’s face.
“Wu tar you gona doo, litlte rubut?”
The monstrosity’s second mouth lurches forward and ROB barely dodges being eaten by it. Jeff’s massive claws reach up and try to clamp down on ROB, but his massive exchange of strength for speed makes Jeff’s claws easy for the tiny ROB to dodge. ROB’s body begins to distort into strange shapes and colors as it gets closer and closer to the beast’s face. It opens fire with Deleter's rifle, and a bullet hits Jeff square in the eye!
ROB tosses the vials it was given into the hole the rifle created and
begins to fly away as fast as it can. Helluva Jeff’s body begins to
distort wildly as portals to other dimensions open in its body. It’s
massive ungodly shape begins to shift, taking on millions of different
forms in a split second. Notable among them though are an eagle,
Shuma-Gorath, and a demonic Widow Maker…
Helluva Jeff’s body explodes and then turns inwards towards Saberwulf’s portals, taking Jeff to dimensions unknown. The brobeasts fall to the ground, instantly killed by their creator’s departure. The world begins to shift back into a normal shape, and the sky’s strange disturbances clear up. The only strange thing in the night sky now was a massive empty white void that lie where Helluva Jeff had been.
Major Failure turns to Jumpropeman, Gezora, and the two remaining fighters.
“Ok, so maybe I was wrong about shutting this down. Apparently, it keeps some of you in top shape just in case things like that invade our world. I’ll allow this brawl to continue.”
The audience cheers as they return to their seats to watch the finale. Major Failure goes to sidelines, where the Snapper’s had quickly whipped up a seat of honor for him. ROB hands the Deleter back his rifle, and the two stand apart from each other, awaiting the signal to begin their fight.
And with a wave of Gezora’s tentacle, the final battle is underway
The robot from the 8-bit era flies towards the limping Terran marine
and immediately gets the left half of its face shot clear off by a
uranium bullet. The Deleter is shocked by how easily he managed to get
that shot in, but he also noticed something different about the robot.
Its remaining eye no longer looked at him with a cold, emotionless
stare. It looked at him in the same way so many enraged bloodthirsty
Zerg had looked at him before he blasted them to smithereens. But unlike
the Zergs, the robot he was fighting was charged with more electricity
than the Borg homeworld.
ROB’s aforementioned electricity began to strike out of its body randomly; it no longer was able to control the strength or direction of its electrical field. The slight brain damage did reveal something though: ROB had been holding back. The latent electricity of Teslacorn and Achilles’ Eel now flowed out of its body freely and began scorching the earth beneath the Deleter. He did his best to dodge the bolts of electricity, but not even he could move faster than electricity.
The Deleter’s entire body is now coursing with uncontrolled electricity,
and some of his less important organs begin to char from the heat of
the shock. His suit was still responsive though, so he urged himself to
lift his rifle up and continue firing at the electrified machine. A few
more bullets managed to make contact with ROB, this time taking out a
bit of its base and right shoulder.
The ROB continued to fly towards the space marine in spite of its injuries until it smashed right through the Terran’s helmet. The shattered glass fell into the inner workings of his suit as his arms struggled to pull the ROB away from his face. ROB’s hand reached towards the Deleter’s head with the intent of lifting it up and out of place like a pile of Stack-Up blocks. Deleter only barely manages to grab the robot before it was going to behead him, and he rips off the Sintendo product’s left arm.
ROB falls of its opponent and flies off once more, this time to assess its own damage. Once again it’s lost a big part of its body, but all its done is to help relinquish more control of its electrical energy back to Mother Nature. Deleter lifts his rifle once more to take aim and hopefully end this battle, but that’s when he notices his target’s electrical forcefield is now expanding to ridiculous levels.
ROB’s robotic mind once again returns to the owl’s death for some
reason. It remembers the strange malfunction it experienced that made it
more powerful. As it remembers the death, the electricity begins to
expand. It may have no more control over the electricity’s path,
but it was somehow strengthening it by thinking of the fallen fledgling
Metal God.
Electricity continues to zap the Deleter at random intervals, but he has become numb from so much electricity and can no longer feel the pain. Glass digs into his flesh underneath the suit as he urges himself to fire another shot at the tiny robot whose electrical field was growing bigger than some buildings.
*BOOM!*
Another uranium bullet sails through ROB’s body, this time demolishing
its remaining arm. Wires dangle now from where its arms once had been,
but it’s no problem. ROB is unarmed and dangerous thanks to the
uncontrollable electrical field that coursed around it.
The electrical fields it had once ridden with ease now heaved ROB around the arena violently, the robot having no control over where the current took it. Deleter struggles to aim his rifle, his innards slowly liquefying in the same manner that Ogopogo’s did. ROB was literally now just a battery for a giant lightning storm, and Deleter knew if he could remove whatever made ROB tick, the electricity would finally dissipate and he could win the match. The Terran’s armor was beginning to fail though, and his suit’s legs both were stricken motionless by the electrical currents. He now stood in place, desperately firing at ROB as it rocketed around the arena.
Another bullet hit ROB’s head, but it had only barely hit it. ROB’s remaining eye shattered in a rain of sparks, the robot’s vision was now cut off, as if it even mattered at this point though. It really was just a battery for the storm at this point, it realized, but it didn’t care how it won. It didn’t care about anything. Wait… Maybe it did care for something. Somewhere in what remained of the robot’s mind it realized that maybe these strange thoughts weren’t malfunctions. It realized that it had felt something towards that tiny owl robot. It cared for Owltomaton.
Suddenly the electricity suspended him still in one place. Whether it was ROB’s epiphany that caused it or a random occurrence no one can ever know, but now ROB floated slowly towards the space marine’s exposed face, the wires where its arms used to be outstretched. The Deleter struggled to fire his gun, but the magazine was empty. He tried to reach for more ammo, but his insides had become too fried, and he could only look on in horror as ROB landed on his chestplate and wrapped its wires around his face.
Deleter's face is scorched and his brain fried. The corpse of the
Deleter falls to the ground, smoking from so much electrical heat.
Something inside of ROB clicks, finally dissipating the electrical field
that had surrounded him for so long. In the arena now sat a normal ROB,
albeit one damaged horribly and capable of emotions.
ROB WINS!
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After the brawl, Sintendo took both ROB and Owltomaton in for repairs.
ROB’s chassis was fixed up, new arms attached, and the missing half of
its head restored. Sintendo was more than happy to repair ROB’s new owl
friend as well, returning the birdbot to the same glory the new Metal
God had when it had emerged from Shuma-Gorath’s eye.
ROB had watched the repairs on Owltomaton, for the first time experiencing nervousness. It was worried that the only thing it cared for might have lost its personality from the damage to its mind, but when the hooter was reactivated, it acted in the same meek and loveable manner that ROB had grown accustomed to. ROB rushed towards its buddy and hugged it. Owltomaton hugged it back, overjoyed when it heard that its Robotic Operating Buddy had won the brawl.
Hugging the robot owl, ROB experienced another emotion for the very first time:
Meanwhile, the Sintendo Company had been remodeling its entire business.
Gone was the era of fat plumbers saving princesses from turtles. This
was a new video game era, and this era would be led by a robotic new
hero. It would be led by ROB.
(FIN)
Also, for a limited time only, get your official ROB merchandise at the King of Beasts! Whether its a giant foam finger, a coffee mug, or a tiny little stuffed animal your looking for, we've got everything ROB-related you could ever desire! We even have replicas of its trademark shades and its new DVD: "ROB: The Story of a Godbot"! Come on down and get yours today!
