vs. 
“The rules are simple,” hoots the metallic owl, “A tag is valid as long as one teammate’s hand (or tentacle) touches the other teammate’s hand (or tentacle). The first team to have a member KO’d while fighting will lose the match.” And with that, Owltomaton’s metal wing waves to indicate the fight’s start!
Doktor Hanz and Doktor Hanz circle each other warily. Doktor Hanz’s hands twitch as Doktor Hanz wields his giant piece of meat above his shoulder. The only sound heard in the arena is the occasional slight note of an accordion contracting or expanding. Doktor Hanz suddenly makes a quick move towards Doktor Hanz, but Doktor Hanz dodges and slaps Doktor Hanz with his schnitzel!
RedSpy’s Doktor Hanz disguise finally is broken, and he is able to safely draw his knife without breaking any ruses. The knife slashes straight towards Hanz, but the Doktor is much too quick and effortlessly dodges the knife. RedSpy gets out of range of his opponent and lets out a long drag on his huge batch of cigs, releasing a smokescreen that obscures the view of the battlefield.
In case you haven’t noticed though, Hanz’s head is an accordion, and accordions don’t have eyes. However this strange German is able to see, it does not appear to be affected by the smokescreen.
Hanz’s meat once again comes swinging towards RedSpy, this time hitting him directly in his face. RedSpy’s shades shatter and many of his cigarettes fly out of his mouth, while others go down the spy’s throat. He starts to cough out puffs of smoke and cigarette butts, and his attempt to curse Hanz instead forces out more smoke and moistened cigs. But he’s not ready to die of a smoking habit and he resumes his assault. The knife slashes through the air, the lingering smokescreen obscuring the Spy’s vision more than the Doktor’s. Hanz is able to dodge most of the hits, but one slash manages to hit the Doktor’s left arm, severing muscles and rendering it useless for waving meat around with.
The spy smiles smugly because of his successful hit, but Hanz simply switches hands and begins to wail on Red with a fury only the most German of men can dish out. RedSpy’s nose is busted, his eyes blackened, and some teeth are dislodged by the relentless meat battering. Soon, RedSpy has lost his ability to think clearly, and he no longer feels capable of going on. He tries one more strike with his knife, but it simply becomes lodged into Hanz’s own weapon. Now weaponless, he rushes towards the sidelines where Alex awaits eagerly with his hand outstretched. Hanz delivers one last blow to the back of Red’s head right as a metallic hand meets the palm of a gloved one.
Alex is worried about his partner, who is now laying on the floor, barely holding on to life. Red tells him that he’ll be fine, and that Alex must complete the mission Gentleman Draco has assigned him. Alex’s memory banks replay the tearful moment when Draco left the bar in search of a new princess, entrusting the tiny robot with a deed much different than any he has ever performed before…
Hanz, however, has no time to wait for his opponent to stop worrying and reminiscing and simply slaps the robot out of the sky with his sausage. Alex crashes to the ground, dropping the rifle that was already too big for his body. However, while on the ground he does have a better vantage point with the rifle. Now able to aim it more easily, he props it up and fires it repeatedly, each time screaming apologies and flinching from the sound of beamfire.
The Doktor once again shows us how nimble he is, dodging in a manner that would make even Hitler’s medal-winning gymnastics team jealous. However, the massive wiener he wields isn’t quite as nimble and is hit by one of the rifle’s cyan beams. Hanz drops the flaming meat and decides to switch to hand-to-hand combat.
Of course, having use of only one arm is quite the hindrance, but using the one arm to fight a robot is even harder.
Alex’s beam rifle has run out of ammo, so he drops it and takes to the air. Hanz throws a heavy punch at his tiny foe, but it does more damage to his knuckles than it does to the miniature Gundam. Alex’s jets flare, and he flies downwards and behind his opponent to get out of the range of his foe’s fist. Before the Doktor can even wheel around to see what his foe is up to, Alex comes flying upwards, fist-first…
And straight through the back of Doktor Hanz’s accordion head! Alex flies back around, apologizes, and begins to start Hanz on fire with the flames of his jet-pack. Alex’s mission is complete! He flies back to RedSpy to check on his friend’s health, but the burning body of Doktor Hanz is slowly crawling to the outstretched tentacle of one giant squid…
RedSpy quickly coughs up a warning to Alex about Hanz’s attempt to tag his opponent, but it’s too late. With Hanz’s last bit of energy, he tags the tip of Gezora’s tentacle, and Gezora bursts into the fray, wildly waving its arms in rage.
Owltomaton officially declares Hanz unable to battle, but the last tag stands as valid, and now it’s all up to Gezora to win the fight. Alex quickly flies away from RedSpy and charges towards his much larger opponent, attempting to replicate the same blow that took out Hanz. Gezora makes no attempt to block the attack, and Alex rams fist-first into Gezora's large head! However, he bounces off the head leaving only a tiny red mark, his momentum halted by the durability of the kaiju’s flesh. Gezora laughs a gurgled laugh and grabs its much smaller opponent. A booming boast erupts from between the beast’s tentacles,
“Gezora doesn’t talk about it a lot, but Gezora’s body constantly generates a freezing cold aura. It’s how Gezora keeps the drinks at the bar so cool.”
Alex’s joints begin to freeze, and soon the robot is unable to move at all. Alex struggles to free his limbs from the ice and Gezora’s tentacle, but Gezora’s grip just tightens as another tentacle begins to rummage in one of its membranous folds and pulls out a magazine of ammo. RedSpy, now feeling much better on the sidelines, coughs in protest to the ref about this underhanded tactic. Owltomaton, however, allows it, since a magazine of ammo technically isn’t a weapon, and thus does not break the one-weapon rule. Besides, Gezora hadn’t even brought a first weapon! Gezora saunters over to the beam rifle that was abandoned earlier and picks it up. It removes the old magazine and pops in the new one. Gezora puts Alex’s frozen body down on the ground, walk ten paces away from it, and turns around. It lifts the beam rifle to its face, and says,
“Gezora wishes a good finishing line would’ve come to mind, but this will have to do.”
Alex looks in terror as the beam rifle points directly at his frozen body. Alex’s struggle becomes more and more desperate, and then the beam rifle fires…
But just in the nick of time, Alex’s jetpack releases a stream of fire, lifting the robot into the air. The body is still not completely thawed, but Alex is now able to dodge the shots of his own beam rifle. Gezora is obviously surprised, but its determination is unfazed. It begins following the robot’s flight through the air with the rifle’s scope, firing when it thinks it has a chance to hit.
Alex’s body is warmed by the jetpack’s fire and his arms have regained motility. However, a warning begins flashing in Alex’s eyes. The fuel for his jetpack is running out quickly, and soon he’ll be on the ground and within range of not only the rifle, but also Gezora’s massive tentacles. Alex decides it’s now or never and he makes a desperate charge at Gezora, hoping to break through the massive shades and maybe blind his opponent. Gezora lifts the rifle and fires at its oncoming opponent…
The beam makes contact with Alex, blasting him backwards and towards the sidelines. Now literally half the robot he used to be, Alex’s programs begin to shut down. He’s left without much of a mind at all, but his processors still know one thing: Alex must tag RedSpy. With no proper way to move himself, he stretches out his hand, which fires from its joint and is caught in the hands of RedSpy.
“I didn’t even know you could do that!” RedSpy says, still belching out smoke.
“I can’t…” Alex says, and with that, his systems shut down.
RedSpy steps into the arena, his face still bloody, his lungs still full of smoke, but his heart full of renewed vigor. He will take down Gezora, he will avenge Alex…
Gezora lifts the rifle once more, but RedSpy dodges the blue beam and tumbles to the ground. His spirit is willing, but his lungs are weak and full of more smoke than a coal power plant. RedSpy realizes his one chance at defeating his foe lies in the smoking remains of Hanz’s wiener. RedSpy continues to dodge the rifle’s volleys, each time moving nearer and nearer to the ash-covered knife. Gezora realizes what its foe is attempting, and it discards the rifle and charges towards the spy.
The discarded rifle manages to fire the last bit of ammo it had… right at poor Owltomaton :(
While the robotic owl flies around trying to put out his burning ref’s uniform, RedSpy and Gezora finally come within arm's/tentacle’s reach of each other. RedSpy has yet to retrieve his knife, and Gezora’s massive tentacles plop down to block the path to the knife. The tentacles then plop down on the opposite side of Red, blocking him from all but one side. The spy and squid’s eyes meet, both of their eyes burn with the rage of a lost companion, but only one’s body emits a chilling aura, and RedSpy can feel it beginning to grip his body.
Gezora’s tentacles come crushing inward and… Hit? RedSpy didn’t attempt to dodge at all. Gezora looks at its opponent’s now limp body, and wonders if it might be a bit delusional from his pre-fight vodka. It looks to the avian referee to see if the KO counted, but the ref is too busy trying to stop, drop, and roll as best a bird-bot can.
Amidst the stunned silence of Gezora and the frantic hoots of the owl, the tiniest clink of a lifted knife can be heard. Gezora turns to where the ashes of the sausage are, but it no longer saw the knife. Gezora turns back to the corpse and swing its tentacles down on it, but they pass right through. It’s not a corpse, it’s an illusion. The click of a golden pocketwatch can be heard, and the spy now stood triumphantly, holding his knife in his hands and ready to take down the giant squid.
A bit frostbitten from taking the blow of the tentacles, the Dead Ringer pocket watch allowed him to retrieve his knife, but has also left him on the verge of fainting. He doesn’t let it show, but Gezora could probably tap him and knock him over for the KO. Gezora, however, is too enraged by his ploy to think clearly and charges at the near-dead RedSpy. Red jumps out of the range of one tentacle, slashing off the end of another. Gezora’s arm swipes at the spy and knocks the Dead Ringer away from his hands and into a wall, shattering it. Gezora’s anger causes it to spray stream of ink onto the ground beneath him, causing RedSpy to slip on the ground and right between the many tentacles of the beast. He briefly sees the mouth of the kaiju, and words cannot describe the Lovecraftian horror of Gezora’s maw...
RedSpy leaps up from beneath his foe and leaps once more, this time into the air. Gezora’s tentacles thrash wildly as RedSpy lifts his knife up and jabs it downwards…
So, it looks like the team of RedSpy and Alex has barely emerged victorious. Unfortunately for Gezora, the schedule of a referee is not very flexible, so it’ll need to be on the job next fight, healed or not.
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