Fite 48- Naval Devilry (Devil Ed vs. Ogopogo)

Ahoy! Tonight, the arena has been flooded to make a massive pool for a naval battle between two ghostly ships! The undead Cap'n Ogopogo has brought his skeleton crew and his faithful vessel to our arena to combat Devil Ed and his demonic crew's hulk. The two supernatural ships shall serve as the weapons, but even if the ship is destroyed and the crew massacred, it will come down to whether or not the two captains of the ships can kill each other. The first one dead is the loser!

Without further ado, Devil Ed and Ogopogo, it is time to Fite Yer' Mate!

The two ships sail about, each wreathed in their own unique fog. Ogopogo's vessel was obscured by the otherworldly viridian fog often associated with the sailboats of the undead. Ed's massive vessel sailed through a storm of red clouds which thundered with the tormented shrieks of Hell's populace. The demons and devils from the underworld that Ed had brought were growing restless. They polished and sharpened their weapons as the galley of damned souls turned the oars. Ogopogo's vessel seemed to move by its own force, the skeletons on board clattering as they armed themselves and their cannons.

Devil Ed's first mate Alocer looked out into the distance. Spotting the undead cryptid's vessel, his loud voice boomed the news through the ship to even the lowest decks. Ed turned the ship's wheel and sailed the hulk towards the green fog ahead. Ogopogo, his body occupying most of the upper deck, had already spotted them, and when he heard the loud voice of Alocer announce his presence, he sent out a few small lifeboats with skeletal pirates aboard. Ogopogo turned his vessel to the side to aim the cannons as Ed's vessel approached.

The first cannons are fired. Ogopogo's ship launches a salvo of large cannonballs, tearing open holes in the front of the approaching vessel of the half-angel. Devil Ed points forward, and an army of winged demons fly towards his foe's boat. As Ed tries to turn his vessel to starboard to retaliate, the flying demons make quick work of the tattered sails of Ogo's ship. Ogopogo reaches up with his bony neck and devours one of the demons, but the others dodge and begin to work on the vessel itself. Skeletons begin feebly trying to repel the demons, but this was an elite squad, and they had no trouble cleaving the bony bodies of the cryptid's crew.

Once the boats are positioned side to side for a proper naval battle, the cannons really begin to let loose. Balls of fiery energy shoot out of the weapons of the demonic ship, obliterating large portions of the lower decks with ease. Beelzebub commands the crew to continue their volley, but suddenly the side of the vessel is torn open. The skeletons from the lifeboat spill in and slay the weaker demons who manned the cannons and the souls who turned the galley oars. Beelzebub fites off the skeletons as best he can, but these were the best of Ogopogo's crew, so he locked them below decks and scrambled to tell his captain of the bad news.

Devil Ed stood at the wheel, his laser eyes taking pot shots at skeletons and burning holes in the pirate plesiosaur's vessel. Beelzebub relayed the news, but Devil Ed disregards it. Ogopogo's vessel was already showing signs of failing, proving that sometimes sheer strength can trump strategy. Ogopogo's ghostly teeth bit into more of the flying demons, diminishing the ranks of Ed's elite crew. Two had already made it below decks though, and turned some of the cannons on the ship itself, a tactic currently being performed by the skeletal invaders on Ed's boat as well.

The cannonballs destroyed the walls of Ogopogo's ghost ship. The Happy Adventure begins to sink, and the ghost of a pirate sea monster on board could do nothing about it. Meanwhile, the skeleton's on board Devil Ed's hulk aimed the cannons at the decks and walls and fired, only to find out the odd ammunition the cannons used was made to pass through the vessel itself! The skeletons begin to try and dismantle the boat by hand, but their bony fingers and metal weapons can only do so much to a ghost ship.

Ogopogo sank with his vessel, but unlike other captains who go down with their ship, this plesiosaur was not down and out. Ogopogo began to swim through the water, and Devil Ed tried his best to aim his laser eye at the underwater monster. Beelzebub and Alocer both did their best to assist. The Lord of the Flies vomited a putrid acid into the water, hoping to taint the makeshift sea and make it uninhabitable, but Ogopogo was already dead and the vomit only inconvenienced him. The Grand Duke of Hades boarded his horse and leaps into the ocean, the horse running through the water with ease as it chased after Ogopogo.

Ogopogo dodged the pursuit of Alocer and his horse, lashing out with his bony fins and skewering the horse's flank. The Ruler of 36 Infernal Legions was forced to abandon his steed and briefly considered fiting Ogopogo on his own when he remembered his master aboard the demonic hulk. Ogopogo was swimming up to it, and Alocer could do nothing to prevent the crpytozoological captain's attack.

Ogopogo leaped out of the water...

And slammed his entire weight down onto Devil Ed's ship! The resilient hulk could not handle the massive weight of the supernatural beast of British Columbia. The boat is reduced to splinters, and Devil Ed barely survives. A split second before impact, he pulled himself and Beelzebub off of the vessel, leaving only him and his two demonic compatriots to fite the massive lake monster in his element. Alocer pushed one of the skeleton crew's discarded lifeboats as he paddled over to his master.

Devil Ed and his two servants clamber into the tiny vessel and counted their assets. The tiny vessel had a harpoon, and Devil Ed still had use of his laser eye. Beelzebub and Alocer both had powers that seemed ineffective thus far, so they focused on helping Ed pursue Ogopogo rather than fiting him.

The crew of the lifeboat sailed onwards, pursuing Ogopogo, who appeared to be fleeing at the moment.

The waters are eerily silent. Ogopogo dove into the water long ago, and Devil Ed and his remaining shipmates had no idea what to do. Ed had the harpoon at the ready, and Beelzebub had briefly braved the waters to retrieve floating weapons for him and Alocer to use in case things got rough.

The green fog and red storm still hung over the arena despite their respective ships beings obliterated. Ed's ship mostly floated about as tiny hunks of wood, whereas Ogopogo's vessel had sunk to the bottom of the arena.

The demons in the boat were growing restless, but Devil Ed was forming a plan. Gripping his harpoon, he dived into the ocean below, his laser eye lighting the murky depths. His two minions called out to him, but they then noticed a rope tied to the boat. The two got ready to pull their master back up if things went sour.

Devil Ed dived further and further into the water, holding his breath far longer than any regular human could. When he reached the bottom of the arena, he used his eye as a spotlight, and eventually he saw Ogopogo, who was straining to lift his sunken ship with his bony flippers. Ed stopped using his eye for guidance and swam towards the cryptid's ethereal glow. He swam up to Ogopogo's back and readied the harpoon, but suddenly the sea monster kicked its flippers out and pushed the entire wrecked ship upwards. The kick shot up bubbles and currents, pushing Devil Ed away from his target. The odd tugging of the rope caused by this worried his remaining crew members and sent them into a panic. They began to pull the rope up frantically, inadvertently tangling Ed's body up in it while they did so.

The Canadian lake monster pushed the Happy Adventure all the way up to the water's surface and beyond. The wrecked ship arced upwards and then slammed down on the tiny craft Beelzebub and Alocer occupied. The two panicked again when they saw the dilapidated vessel falling down, but Alocer made a quick note to slice the rope so Ed would not be tied to a sinking lifeboat. The entire shipwreck crashed down on the two demons, who despite having escaped into the water, were still hit and knocked out by the impact of the supernatural ship.

Under the waves, the rope tying up Ed slackened from being severed, allowing him to wiggle himself free. Ed quickly resurfaced, gasping for air. The half-angel looked about and saw the top of the Happy Adventure as it sank a second time. The bony form of Cap'n Ogopogo glared at him from the other side of the sinking vessel. Devil Ed readied his harpoon and screamed out at Ogopogo,

"To the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee."

From his laser eye he shot a massive beam of pink energy, enough to destroy most of the bones on Ogopogo's right side. The skeletal ghost barely survives the blow, and his swimming has veeb severely crippled from the blow. Gezora, our faithful referee, has its own tiny vessel, the S.S. Amoeba, hit by the pink beam, but Gezora is unharmed and can see that Ogopogo is not dead yet. Or rather, not dead again, since he was already undead.

Devil Ed, weary from the laser shot, paddled as best he could towards Ogopogo, hoping that ramming the harpoon into the skull would be the way to kill his opponent. Ogopogo also was weary and doing his best to close the distance between them, hoping to exploit his advantage in the water to kill his opponent.

They reached each other. Harpoon met bony flipper. Tiny bones from the flipper are knocked loose, and Ogopogo's attempted swipe with his front flipper went unrewarded. He was reduced to using just his remaining flippers and his head for battle now, and he did not dare risk losing his head in an unsuccessful attack. Ogopogo swiped forward more and more, but Devil Ed dove under him and climbed up into the ghostly sea monster's shattered rib cage. Climbing the bones like they were a ladder made of marrow, Ed was able to clamber up onto the plesiosaur's back.

Ogopogo quickly submerged itself into the water in hopes of losing Ed, but the half-angel had rammed his harpoon into the beast's back, and the two went into the water together. Ed pulled himself along the spine as the lake monster desperately dived, jabbing his weapon into the spine to gain leverage. As Ed started to reach the vertebrae of the neck Ogopogo suddenly twisted his neck around. The neck squeezed around Devil Ed, restraining the man's arms to his side. His harpoon was still lodged in a neck vertebra, so he had no way of breaking the neck's hold.

Ed found more and more of the plesiosaur's long neck pressing against his side as Ogopogo continued wrapping him up. The bones of the lake monster began crushing Devil Ed's bones. Ed struggled and fired his laser eye repeatedly, but all that did was suck life energy out of the already desperate half-devil. Ogopogo's boa constrictor gambit worked, and soon Devil Ed's body was too crushed to continue functioning. Ogopogo uncoiled his neck and let out a bubbly, pirate-accented roar in victory.

The limp corpse of Ed plops onto the bottom of the waterlogged arena, and Ogopogo sails up to show the ref his victory. When he arrives though, the S.S. Amoeba is sinking from its earlier damage.

"Gezora shall go down with the ship!"

Gezora did, but just like Ogopogo, it was a sea creature, so it didn't really matter. Gezora declared Ogopogo the winner, and the Fite Yer' Mates maintenance crew got to work finding out how to dispose of the water that filled the arena.