Tonight's Fite:
Constantine makes the first move. He charges directly at the giant mantis, who quickly flies up and backwards to avoid the mace swing. She tries a quick thrust forward with her spear before getting out of range, but the emperor's shield easily deflects it. Widow Maker hovers in the air above Constantine, but this is what the emperor wanted. Forsaking his defense, he throws his shield directly at Widow Maker's face. Widow Maker's shield and spear both reflexively go up to defend the bug's big eyes, giving Constantine the opening he needed to leap up and slam his mace against Widow Maker's abdomen.
Widow Maker is too overwhelmed by the situation to maintain flight, causing her to fall out of the air and on top of the Emperor below. The massive mantis's weight pushes Constantine's own mace against his armor, but besides a large dent he is unharmed. Widow Maker quickly stumbles off the emperor, her abdomen cracked open from the mace's blow. She tries to take to the sky once more, but Constantine is quick to stand up and grab one of her wings. He unleashes another mace swing, this one aimed at the wing, but Widow Maker whips her own shield around to defend against the blow.
Constantine refuses to release his grip on the wing as he tries again and again to pummel the mantis. Widow Maker's shield blocks every blow as her mind races to formulate a plan. After being deflected, the Emperor's shield had landed onto the arena floor, just begging to be retrieved later in battle for some sort of comeback. Widow Maker, being a genre savvy bug, knew she would have to eliminate it before it became a threat. She began to rush towards the discarded shield.
Constantine was dragged along, his iron grip on the bug's wing now hurting him more than it did the bug. Luckily for him, being dragged gave him the weight he needed to tear a huge piece of the insect's wing off. Tumbling away from Widow Maker, Constantine discarded the chunk of mantis wing and quickly pulled himself to his feet just in time to see Widow Maker reach his shield. Before the emperor could even start wondering what her plan was, the bug's legs began crushing the shield. The osmium shield began to dent and distort, but the shield's tough metal held strong. As Constantine rushed towards the mantis to retrieve his shield, the mantis hefted it up with her mouth and chucked it as hard as she could.
The tough metal of the shield now hurt the emperor's cause. The osmium easily tore into the arena's walls, sticking it high above either competitors' reach. That's quite a throw from someone using their mouth!
Even after the shield was tossed, Constantine's charge never faltered. He reached the giant insect and was trying once more to brain the bug with his mace. Widow Maker was quick to defend once more, but this time she also lashed out with her own weapon. The spear went straight for Constantine's head, but a last second reaction saved the emperor from having his face skewered. Instead, the shield pushed the emperor's helmet right off.
Constantine stops his assault briefly as he tries to think of the best way to retrieve his lost armor with being vulnerable. What he didn't realize is that stopping his assault left him the most vulnerable.
Widow Maker's spear slams into his chest, easily passing through the armor. Both fiters look at each other, equally surprised by how easily Widow Maker had landed such a pivotal blow. The insect snaps out of her surprise and lifts up her shield to try and push the emperor off of her weapon. Bleeding out the opponent isn't the best way to win, but it is effective.
Constantine, still living somehow despite such a grievous injury, hefts his mace up and tries to deliver what he thinks might be his last blow. He tries to hit the mantid on the head, but her face is out of his reach. Instead, his weapon comes slamming down on both of Widow Maker's arms, snapping them off like they were twigs.
Widow Maker looks down, then back up, then back down. Her two forelegs were devastated. The spear arm still sat in the man's chest, and her shield arm now lay on the ground. The mantis was, needless to say, not prepared for this. Constantine drops his mace, his blood loss making him too weary to hold the heavy weapon. The two competitors look at each other, both dripping more blood than a Mortal Kombat battle in a butcher shop. The woozy Widow Maker reaches down with her mouth, hoping her strong shield throw from earlier was an indication that she could wield the dropped mace effectively. Constantine is not stupid enough to let her lift it though, and uses up quite a bit of his remaining strength to lift the mace and hurl it towards the wall.
Although his mace could not break concrete like his shield, it did not need to. It landed on top of the shield in a move that would have shocked an arena of basketball fans had this been that sport. The mace was now implausibly balanced just out of reach of both competitors, neither of which had the energy to try and retrieve it.
Widow Maker, who was still bending over during the three-point mace toss, lifted her own shield in her jaws instead, her detached arm still dangling from it. She lifted it up to face level, hoping it could provide at least a little use in this fite.
The emperor balled his fists, fighting through his injuries so he may continue fiting.
The wounded warriors looked at each other. Who shall win this now desperate fite?
Constantine is still swinging at least. Well, his fists swing at really slow speeds, the emperor unable to put the proper force behind them in his injured state. Widow Maker is stumbling about, unable to kick with her remaining four legs because of her wounds. Instead, her mouth desperately clings to the shield that deflects Constantine's slow blows.
After a bit of slow fiting, both competitors back up and collapse to the ground. Both desperately try to regain composure. The Byzantine Emperor focuses his mind, entering an almost meditative state. Widow Maker is also seeking inner focus, hoping to Elohim that she can find her second wind.
Unfortunately, this regaining of wits takes quite a bit. Audience members, once enthralled by the match, now yawned and pulled out portable CD Players, MPMan music devices, Game Boys, and even one idiotic fellow tries to play a Virtual Boy. After awhile people start to leave their seats, but then they hear Constantine yell and stand back up. His injuries now seemed meaningless to the focused emperor. Approaching the still concentrating mantis, the emperor begins to punch the bug directly in its humongous eyes.
This obviously causes Widow Maker to stop focusing and start fiting. The bug tried to leap back, but the suddenness of it all causes her to stumble over her own body. Constantine continues attacking her, but the stumbling bug begins using her mouth shield once more to block attacks. Audience members sit back in their seats and put away their electronics to watch this not-so-pathetic-anymore fite!
Widow Maker may have stumbled into a vulnerable position on the ground, but it did have its advantages. Now that she didn't need to stand on them, she was able to kick forward with all four remaining legs. Constantine is launched across the arena, hitting the wall. The shield up above him shakes, causing the mace that balanced precariously on it to fall down and smack him on the head. Constantine's hair, already drenched with sweat and trace amounts of bug juice, now was stiffened by blood as his scalp was cracked open.
The emperor might have been disoriented by this earlier, but his focus allowed him to ignore the pain and lift his weapon once more. Mace in hand, the bloody Byzantine barreled towards the battered bug.
Widow Maker, after her impressive kick, had stood up and begun to consider the situation. The emperor was in a berserk rage that ignored pain, she was the underdog in this situation. Good. She was the unarmed competitor. Even better. Standing up, she could hardly fite at all, and her death was charging right towards her. Perfect.
The bug knew this situation. She had seen it many times. Whenever someone was in this situation, the underdog always won. Pulling her head back as best she could, she put all her faith in Elohim and TVTropes and hurled the shield towards her opponent, relying on that not-so-old adage: Throwing Your Shield Always Works.
The shield sailed towards Constantine's neck.
But he deflects it thoughtlessly with his mace.
Widow Maker's forelegs twitched as they tried to instinctively faceclaw at how badly that failed. The emperor reached Widow Maker and brought his mace down on her head.
Widow Maker closed her eyes and expected death, but the mace blow was surprisingly weak. The mace bounced off her head and hit the floor, and a gush of blood drenched Widow Maker's eyes and face.
Widow Maker hadn't counted on a few other popular tropes: The Pinball Projectile and Allusion. Widow Maker's shield had missed the Byzantine's neck, but as it sailed through the air, it bounced off the osmium shield still lodged in the wall. Ricocheting away, it had to bounce once more to reach Constantine. Luckily, that idiot in the audience still was playing his Virtual Boy, and the shield bounced off of it, breaking the "portable" game system and sending the shield back towards Constantine's neck. From there, the Allusion took over, and Sphrantzes's account of Constantine XI Palaiologos's death dictated that he must be beheaded. The shield's edges made sure that came to be.
Widow Maker was dumbfounded by her victory, but it was a victory well earned. The genre savvy mantis has won the match!
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