Fite 20- Virtual Cruelty (FITE WEEK! Jonesy vs. Sine)

It's day two of FITE WEEK, and if you aren't excited, there must be something wrong with you. Tonight's fite shall take place in the virtual realm, where, through the marvels of VR technology, two people shall battle to the death without ever actually coming in contact with each other. Although this battle is in virtual reality and they won't technically murder each other, the system is equipped with sympathetic pain, so if they get hurt in the arena, they feel the pain out here. Its cranked up to max though, so if someone loses a virtual arm, don't be surprised if a cut appears on their real arm. Now that the boring explanatory part is done, it's time for Jonesy and Sine to enter the virtual realm. Prepare to virtually Fite Yer' Mate!

Before entering virtual reality, the two girls posture and make speeches to their fans. Sine continues her Ultimate Warrior bit, saying the various ways she will defeat "A-MAN-da Jones!" and Jonesy plays up the Empress bit she had developed. Both girls are really in the jocoserious mood for their fite, but by no means does that mean that they won't be mean in the a"mean"a. That arena/mean pun was awful, but so are some of the girls' jeers and jokes so lets just move on...

Some additional technicians had been hired to improve the VR, positioning a giant pad between the two VR beds. The pad projected a hologram of the virtual arena so that the audience wouldn't have to glare at a TV to watch the fite. Jonesy and Sine both enter their VR beds as referee Gezora places on his special VR helmet and Jumpropeman mans the VR's control. Tired of the word VR yet? Because you'll be hearing it a lot tonight!

As soon as the two girls jack in, their giant holographic forms appear on the pad. They take a moment to get their virtual bearings. Gezora makes sure the gals are ready, and then signals for this fite to begin!

Jonesy starts off with an unexpectedly energetic assault. Running towards Sine as soon as the signal is given, she swings her knifegun at the red-haired woman, trying to slash open Sine's durable clothing. Sine had expected the gun to come in play first, so the unexpected action allows Jonesy to slash open a few tears in Sine's suit. The knife made no contact with skin though, and Sine pulled her durable cloak out in front of her to protect from Jonesy's attacks. That's when Jonesy switched to using the gun part of the knifegun, firing a shot right in the middle of the cloak. Sine is knocked across the arena from the force of the blow as the virtual environment begins to shift.

The previously bland environment transforms into a massive chapel. Pews appear around Jonesy as Sine is slammed in the alter. She is unharmed by the actual bullet, but above her a giant crucifix wobbles from the force of the impact. Sine stands up and dodges as it falls, readying her own weapon to make a charge at Jonesy.

Jonesy negotiates herself out of the pews and towards Sine, firing a few shots with her gun. Sine easily dodges them, but a shower of stained glass falls down around Sine, tearing a few more holes in her suit. Sine complains a bit about the environment fighting her more than Jonesy is, but her complaint is cut short when the knifegun shot Sine's knee.

Sine's real knee begins to bleed from a small wound, but nowhere near as serious as the one Sine experienced in the virtual world. Sine stumbled and fell, and Jonesy pulls her gun up to fire more shots, but the arena shifts again. Now in an amphitheater, she had no trouble aiming her shot.

Too bad Sine had rolled out of the way and slashed at Jonesy's chest with her sword. The bullet fires off into nothingness as blood burst from Jonesy's chest. The real Jonesy had a similar issue, again on a smaller scale. Jonesy's free hand lashes out at Sine, uppercutting the dodgy redhead and knocking a few teeth out. Sine choked on the teeth, but managed to spit them out into Jonesy's face. Jonesy and Sine begin to swing their weaponry at each other. One of Jonesy's swings lops off Sine's ear and trims the long red hair to a much shorter style. Sine's blade manages to puncture one of the blond's cheeks.

Out of virtual reality, blood spills out of Sine's ear and, surprisingly, her hair is trimmed as well. Now THAT'S sympathetic damage! Jonesy's shirt is stained red. But the main attraction out of virtual reality is Jumpropeman. He was tinkering with the VR's controls, pulling up random environments for the fite. He was getting bored. He wanted to do more.

He looks over the many buttons and switches, sparing glances at the bars that measure brain and heart activity. He carefully and cautiously considers which button should be pressed next, knowing that whatever he did could have a huge impact on the battle.

Nah, he really just mashed the buttons like a madman.

Sine had grabbed Jonesy and lopped off her ponytail as an act of hair vengeance. Real Jonesy is now minus one ponytail as well. Jonesy snaps away before Sine's extra sharp sword could slit her throat, but she finds her body and the environment begin to shift strangely. The environment system crashes, leaving them in a stream of binary, and the VR keeps making beeping noises akin to those that computers make when you press the wrong button. A prompt comes up suggesting Jumpropeman should turn on sticky keys, but Jumpropeman closes out of that after his button mashing is concluded.

 In the stream of binary, two 8 bit versions of the fiters fite valiantly, which in 8-bit just looks like two girls flailing their arms wildly. Although they are blocky, the damage done to them still hurt immensely. Worst of all, the terrible graphics meant they couldn't see their injuries, meaning that Sine and Jonesy found their bodies getting wounds that they could not actually find on their virtual bodies.

The audience begins to hoot and holler in outrage, and Jumpropeman tries to find the button to disable the 8-bit graphics. He presses a button...

 "Crap."

Although the display had crashed, the brain and heart activity still showed on the console, and both competitors were still alive. The bars also seemed to be fluctuating. It appeared the two were still fiting in the VR, even though none of us can see it... except the referee!

Gezora begins to narrate the battle as technicians scramble to get the VR display working again.

"Gezora cannot describe where the battle now takes place, but Sine and Jonesy are moving about like crack-addled cockroaches scared by universal spotlights. The speeds are crazy, and Sine and Jonesy seem to even be running on walls! Walls that float past and bob like buoys in water. Jonesy is using her knifegun, but the bullets bend in the air and Sine is dodging them with unbelievable backbends and twists. Gezora has never seen a human bend like that unless their bones had already been snapped!

Sine seems to be gaining the advantage. Her fleet of foot is superior to the marine girl's movements, even though Sine has a bullet in the knee. Jonesy is firing shot after shot at the redhead but Jonesy seems to be out of ammo! Sine closes the distance and swings with her sword, Jonesy barely able to parry with her odd knifegun weapon.

Ooooo, there appear to be two delicious legs on the ground in front of Gezora.

Wait.

Those are Jonesy's legs."

The real Jonesy shrieks in pain as blood oozes out of her waist where the virtual legs had been severed.

"Sine pulls her sword up. She is saying something boring about honor and how the fite wasn't supposed to be like this or something. Gezora doesn't care, this virtual leg is too yummy.

Anyway, she places the sword at the marine's throat and says she'll make it quick, but Jonesy tumbles out of the way just as the sword is swung! Jonesy's tumbling is a bit odd, since this arena is very odd, but Jonesy somehow tumbles above Sine and with her knifegun slashes a gash in Sine's back. The cloak she used as a shield falls off with the hunk of suit it was attached to. Sine tried to turn around and confront the blond girl but the knife rips into her flesh multiple times before Sine can turn around and kick Jonesy to the ground.

Sine swings that sword again, and slashes off the blond one's smelling appendage. Sorry, Gezora means nose. Gezora doesn't understand human biology to well beyond which bits are the tastiest."

Jonesy's VR bed is becoming rather disgustingly caked in blood, as is Sine's. Both girls' vitals signs are going loco!

Suddenly, with a hard hit to the VR console, the fite's display is back up. Jonesy has pushed herself up off the ground and jabbed her knife into Sine's sternum, but the knife won't come out. The knifegun is stuck, and Jonesy stares up at Sine, who has pulled back her weapon for the final blow.

"Don't worry Jonesy, it will be a clean cut."

She pulls her sword back and...

BAM!!

 The crowd stares in awe as the bullet passes through Sine's skull. "Gezora must have misjudged the amount of ammo Jonesy had left!" the cuttlefish ref said.

Virtual Sine falls to the ground, an expression of shock on her face. The VR panel shows that both Sine's brain monitor and heart monitor have flatlined. A defibrillator can't fix the trauma of brain death (or asystole either, which is the heart stopping, but medical dramas will tell you otherwise!). Jonesy stumbles out of her VR bed, bleeding horribly but still alive, although minus one ponytail.

Both VR beds are coated in blood...

"Gezora will get some towels to clean that up... right after it finishes playing in virtual reality. 8-Bit is never enough."