Fite 26- The Mission to a Living Planet (FITE WEEK! Boss Battle Against Rafflesia)

Harry rounded up the ragtag bunch of bargoers who had agreed to help him take down the sentient planet Rafflesia. Among them was the barbarianess Garnet, the marines Pech and Erebus, the merchant Saberwulf, the boy of meat Meat Boy, the Sintendo product ROB, the black mage Celestia, the kaiju Gamera, the necronaut Designate_5, the assistant bartender Walter, the odd Sheep, and of course our faithful ref Gezora. The group was antsy, wondering how they were supposed to get to a planet that might be lightyears away by now. They got their answer when they arrived at their destination.

In an abandoned building, two figures stood waiting for the group. One was familiar, it was the revived Jumpropeman of this timeline. The other figure was a young women dressed in goth's clothing.

"Hello Harry, Gezora, everyone. It's nice to see you all again. I heard from the alternate Q about the evil essence named Rafflesia and the threat it poses to the embodiments of Life and Existence, especially if it chose to fuse with their counterparts here. They could end up merging the two timelines, which would not be pretty. This here is Death, Sine spoke to her about the situation. She's agreed to help us. Hopefully with her here none of us will perish in this struggle."

The group crowded around Jumpropeman, who rang his bell once. When they reappeared, they would find themselves on Rafflesia. Harry, Garnet, Gezora, Jumpropeman, Death, Pech, Erebus, Saberwulf, Meat Boy, ROB, Celestia, Gamera, Designate_5, Walter, and the Sheep, prepare for a battle against Rafflesia, Life and Existence. Its time for a very special FITE YER' MATES!

 vs.

The living planet Rafflesia is an odd planet. It can take any form it pleases, but it chooses an odd shape similar to an apple core. The group appeared on the surface of the planet. The ground beneath them felt like hair, and the air around them was full of small visible forms of the same essence that had infected the arena during the previous week.

They began to trudge about the planet, feeling the ground around them shift and move. The fiters readied their weapons, knowing the ground could strike at any moment.

And then it did.

Giant snake-like faces appear out of the ground and snap out at the group. Most of the fiters had no problem dodging or striking out at the faces, but Gezora had not expected to actually fite. It was used to being a ref, doing silly things as people died gruesome deaths in the arena. The snake face bit down on Gezora's body, opening up a wound for the essence to spill in.

The usually rather passive Gezora, who limited itself to eating faceless background characters, turned towards the group. The air around it was full of the strange visible essence. Gezora lashed out with its tentacles, slapping Death, Meat Boy, and ROB away from the group. Celestia began firing magic at it, but Erebus stopped her, telling her to not risk killing the possessed bartender. Pech began to use his mind powers to try and push the essence out of the kaiju's mind, but the essence sent a wave of energy out. Pech was knocked back by the power, his head bleeding from the force of the blow.

Harry and Jumpropeman looked to each other and nodded.

"We'll distract Gezora, you guys move on and find Life and Existence!"

The group nodded as they rushed on, trying to locate the embodiments of abstract concepts.

Gezora reached out and grabbed Harry, whose weapon unloaded into the giant cuttlefish. Gezora's physical self grew weary, but the essence pushed the body to fite. Jumpropeman hovered about with his minigun, hoping he wouldn't have to use it.

Gamera spared a look back at his fellow kaiju, but he knew the group had to move on. He lifted some of the slower members of the group up onto his shoulders so they could pick up the pace, dodging as the planet sent more appendages out to try and attack them. The ground beneath them quaked more and more as they ran in one direction. They took it as sign that they were getting closer.

But then, the ground curled up from beneath them. Soon, they were surrounded by a sphere of the hairlike ground. It closed in on them. All the fiters began to open fire on the walls of the orb, hoping to escape before suffocation.

Back out of the sphere, Gezora slams Harry down into the ground and turns towards the ghost. The tentacles reach out, but all of them pass through the ghost. Jumpropeman flies through Gezora, dropping the minigun within him. Gezora stumbled a bit from the sudden addition of Sasha to his insides, giving Jumpropeman the time he needed to grab Harry and fly him away from the cuttlefish.

Gezora chased after the ghost, but Jumpropeman phased through the wall of the sphere to find the rest of the group almost suffocated. He couldn't phase that many people out of the situation. Everyone continued attacking the wall of the orb as they were pushed against each other.

Suddenly, the sheep begins to change. It grows in size, pressing the others against the walls. The walls begin to be pushed away as the sheep grew larger and larger. Eventually, Rafflesia's flesh pulled away and let the group spill out. Gezora was outside waiting for them. It began to slam its tentacles onto the fiters again. Celestia hurled Blizzard spells at the cuttlefish. Some of them froze tentacles and they dropped uselessly to its side, but another tentacle flicked away the black mage.

Walter pulled out his copper pipe and considered the bartender. He had his pistol with him as well, but he could not bring himself to kill his employer who has respected the secrecy of his backroom. Walter began to charge towards Gezora, but suddenly Designate pushes him out of the way and leaps up towards Gezora. The tentacled beast grabbed Designate and pulled him in close. Gezora was about to eat the necronaut.

Garnet begins hacking off tentacles as Erebus and Pech tried to incapacitate the massive kaiju. Meat Boy hurled some rocks uselessly, while ROB just sat there. The sheep was nowhere to be seen though. Gamera ran towards Gezora and grabbed the shades-wearing squid, trying to wrestle Designate free.

But they were too late.

Designate is crammed into Gezora's massive maw, and immediately the essence takes Designate and converts it to her side. The planet Rafflesia than reached into Gezora's mouth and ripped out Designate_5. The group looked warily at Designate.

Designate raised his glove, and appeared to be fiddling with its settings. He was readying the Stripper Cannons. Walter runs up to Designate to try and stop him, swinging forward with his copper pipe.

Designate snaps the weapon in half. A copper pipe was a rather crappy weapon anyway. Designate uppercuts Walter and begins to lay into the raincoat-wearing man. Walter tries to fite back with his fists, but Designate's armor is much too strong for punches to tear into. He begins to shift in appearance, but suddenly the two are floored by the sound of Def Leppard. Designate lands on Walter and sets him on fire with the blue flame, but Walter somehow makes the flame disappear as he pushes the necronaut off of him with unusual strength.

Something about Walter's eyes betrayed his will to live. Not for himself, but so that he may protect the entirety of Existence, to protect his Mother.

Saberwulf began to fire his gun into Gezora as well, flooring the squid with the strong sounds of the 80s band's music. Jumpropeman and Harry went to join Walter and Saberwulf on their assault against their mates. Death sensed something, and began to guide the group towards it. Gamera shuffled after her, but the ground beneath them grabbed at his legs. Gamera let out his trademark roar, causing the group to halt their progress so they could help their friend.

Saberwulf turned; Walter and the others seemed to have the Gezora and Designate situation under control. As he dashed towards the others, he saw the ground reaching out and enveloping the other kaiju who had come with them. Death was screaming for the others to leave him. They were close to Life and Existence, and Rafflesia was just trying to distract them. ROB tried to use its Lightning Bolt Touch Ball to free the massive turtle, but it couldn't get any actual electricity to come out of it. It began to bang the orb onto the ground, hoping to at least generate a spark, but all it did was aggravate Rafflesia. A large chunk of Rafflesia pushed out and began to lift ROB up into the atmosphere.

Gamera was breathing fire, trying to burn the planet that was beginning to envelope his body. The flames seemed to dance worthlessly about on the ground, not lighting anything on fire. Garnet hacked at some of the tendrils with her axe, but another snake-like face appeared out of the ground and gulped down the woman's axe. The face then tried to snap out at her, but the barbarianess socked it on the nose, disorienting the creature long enough for Garnet to run back to try and help Gamera.

The sounds of Duran Duran slammed into the ground as Saberwulf did his part to free Gamera, but the ground reached out and swallowed his weapon as well. Angered, Saberwulf began to punch the ground, leaving tiny dents in the hairlike surface.

Gamera was completely entombed by the red ground now, and Meat Boy and Celestia tried vainly to still free him. Death stood impatiently at the side, waiting for the others to finish their futile attempts at rescuing the kaiju. Pech and Erebus had continued on, hoping to locate Life and Essence before anyone else could be possessed. The sheep... the sheep was unaccounted for.

The ground retracted around Gamera. He looked down angrily at Celestia and Meat Boy. Celestia signalled for the tiny meat cube to run and take the others with them. She raised her staff and began to cast a variety of high power spells, hoping to push back the now-possessed Gamera so the others could advance.

Gamera leaped up to try and dodge the spells, but he only found his tail burning with an ethereal fire. The beast began to run around comically in circles, trying to find a way to put out the magical flames that didn't even actually hurt it. Rafflesia patted it out with a bit of her form, irritated at the ridiculous antics. It was trying to posses the strongest fiters, but it seemed to be grabbing on to the silliest ones.

Speaking of silly kaiju, Gezora had lost some passion in his assault against Harry and Jumpropeman. It was reduced to batting its tentacles uselessly. Apparently, with her attention elsewhere, Rafflesia's grip on Gezora had slackened, allowing Harry's drugs to take effect. The bartender fell with a loud thud as it entered unconsciousness. Harry and Jumpropeman breathed a sigh of relief, but Walter and Designate were still struggling in their battle. The two go to help incapacitate the necronaut.

Gamera began to belch flames towards the black mage, who countered with a Blizzaga spell. The two fought in one of those beam-against-beam battles that are so popular in the animes and the Harry Potters and those other things kids are into these days.

Death, ROB, Meat Boy, and the two marines continued their charge. Garnet and Saberwulf continued trying to bat the ground away with their bare fists. The two ended up back to back, facing off against a plethora of giant snake-like heads made of the red ground. The two give each other a nod, and then they go all action hero on the sentient planet's forms.

Garnet punched and kicked the faces Rafflesia made, but every time she socked one, another bit into her side. Her body was soon punctured in too many places by the razor sharp teeth that she fell to her feet. Saberwulf was too busy kicking ass and taking the same name repeatedly to notice Garnet's plight. He loved that rifle, and this planet was going to pay for devouring it.

Garnet was gulped up by whale-like construct and instantly converted to the side of Rafflesia. It spat her back out as soon as the conversion finished. She landed right on top of the merchant, who pushed her off without a second thought. It wasn't a surprise that she had been hurled into him during a battle with the ground, but the next action did surprise him. Garnet slammed a fist into his facemask, denting the familiar duckface into an ugly downwards slant. Saberwulf turned to Garnet and realized she had also been possessed.

"Really? How many of us are going to fall for this bitch's taint?"

He put up his fists, ready to go toe-to-toe with the girls in the pelts.

 Up in the atmosphere, ROB was scooting about trying to fall back onto the battlefield, only to find more platforms keeping it up there. It didn't need air, so the situation was more inconvenient than anything. It looked down at the other fiters, who it could see were charging towards the only other human figure it could see on the planet. It also saw something odd. It appeared ROB was with the group charging towards Existence, held in the hands of Death. The ROB up in the sky decided to fiddle with its orb some more, trying to produce the sparks it had used to win the Big Bar Brawl. Suddenly, a group of snake heads appeared around the tiny Sintendo toy. ROB's programming doesn't permit it to produce expletives, or to even talk, but if it could, it would probably produce some at this moment.

The ROB in Death's hands moved oddly, but Death disregarded it. She was here to see Life, a counterpart she didn't think existed. She had also hoped to get some answers from the sheep, but it had disappeared after saving the group from the orb of Rafflesia's flesh. Death needed answers, and this group was dillydallying with its members that they knew couldn't die due to her presence. Existence came into view.

Existence sat on a pedestal made of the ground. Her hair extended into the planet. It appeared Rafflesia was more than just a planet, she was part of Existence. Existence was looking more bony than she was before their arrival. Somewhere in the universe, uninhabited planets, asteroids, and old stars were disappearing from existence as they fought with Rafflesia. Death realized something. This wasn't the alternate Rafflesia, Existence, and Life. This was this timeline's version.

The essence in the air trembled. It was trying to regain its strength by uniting with Rafflesia, but the planet resisted her advances. Existence resisted the fusions of the timelines, but the essence was beginning to infect Rafflesia and cause it too lash out at the beings who had come to stop it.

Pech and Erebus were the first to reach her.The two had no idea what Death had realized, so they did not treat it with the proper care.

"Exisstence, leave our universse at once and return to your timeline. We have no issssue with you."

Existence tried to speak, but suddenly the giant forms of her protective planet slammed forward, shaped in forms of various beasts and monsters. Erebus and Pech tore into them effortlessly, the claws of Erebus severing bits as the gladius of Pech beheaded monstrosities. Existence winced in pain, leaning over her baby to protect it. Erebus tried to weave his way through the many forms of the planet to reach Existence and try to reason with her, but suddenly a giant version of the space marine stood before him. Erebus looked at Rafflesia's version of him and snarled.

Rafflesia's Erebus lashed out with its claws, but Erebus's own claw severed one of the massive arms with ease. Pech saw the two fiting and tried to work his way through the beasts the planet had made, but they surrounded him. He sliced into more and more of them, trying to stop the inevitable.

The massive Erebus wasn't the only thing near Erebus. A massive overhang of Rafflesia's flesh had formed. Erebus had thought he was given a massive foe to fite, but what he was really given was a distraction.

The overhang slammed down onto Erebus.

Walter, Jumpropeman, and Harry were assaulting Designate from all sides. Harry's tranqs were useless, so he switched out for a shotgun, trying to shoot out the legs from beneath the necronaut. Jumpropeman has no minigun, so he instead tried to keep the skeleton focused on him, despite Designate being one of the few beings who could actually physically harm the ghost. Blue flames licked off bits of the bell ghost, but the distraction worked long enough for a leg to be shot out from under Designate. The necronaut tumbled to the ground, and saw Walter standing above him. His hand was coated in his own blood, blood taken from a wound the necronaut himself had formed during their battle. He quickly scrawled a symbol on the chest of Designate_5, and suddenly the skeleton's body was purged of the essence. The skeleton's blue flame disappeared, his body falling to the ground, a husk.

The overhang lifted up, and Pech could tell Erebus was lost. He tried to penetrate Erebus's mind and push out the essence, but his powers seemed to skip right past the mind. The essence was blocking all attempts by Pech at further mind games. He lifted his gladius.

"I don't want to kill you Erebuss, but if I musst, sso be it!"

Erebus charged towards Pech with his claws electrified and ready. Pech pulled up his sword, intercepting the first claw swing with his sword.

Pech pushed Erebus back, but the ground pushed Erebus back towards Pech, causing the marine in blue to floor the marine in green. Meat Boy hurled a rock at Erebus, hoping to knock some sense into him, but he somehow knew it was futile. The essence seemed to focus on the stronger opponents, and he seemed to have gone mostly unnoticed. His mind began cooking up a plan. Death pushed forward with the ROB in her arms, dodging the construct of Rafflesia. She hoped to close in and discuss the situation with Existence, but she began to be flipped about by the ground as it started to shift about. The ground moved like water, massive waves crashing against Death and the other ROB. ROB fell out of her hands, falling into the destructive embrace of the planet.

But it wasn't ROB. The sheep shifted back into its true form in a truly gruesome display. Rafflesia recoiled, recognizing the ungulate who had munched on the essence that now coarsed through her body. But the sheep didn't try and eat it, instead it accepted the essence's influence. When it popped back out, it wasn't controlled by the essence. It was powered by it. Existence and Life looked yummy, but Death did as well, and she was much easier to get near...

A loud bleat rang out, and Death whipped her bumbershoot just in time to deflect the advance of a very hungry sheep.

The sheep burst into gibs, but quickly recovered and quickly returned to its assault on Death. It was hungry for more power, and damn what Despair thought. Death was too close for it to resist any longer. It helped that the essence made it hunger for her as well. Death sighed. No one would miss the sheep, right? Effortlessly, she pulled the life from the sheep, letting it float off into the universe. But the sheep still moved. The essence kept it moving. She began to hit it with her umbrella repeatedly, hoping to smack the husk into submission.

Gamera's beam lost out to the Blizzaga spells of Celestia. The kaiju was slammed against a wall of Rafflesia's flesh. Celestia began to freeze the limbs of the turtle against the wall, restricting Gamera's movements. She turns to try and join the others, but Gamera's flame breath comes rushing towards her again. Celestia whipped around and blasted the flames away with a spell in the manner of a person who doesn't have time for Gamera's shit. She walks towards the kaiju as she casts another spell. Gamera and Celestia are surrounded by a black energy, but not a malevolent one. Celestia warped Gamera away from the battle and back to Earth. The essence that had been infecting Gamera remained on the planet and went back to infecting its flesh. Back at the bar, a giant turtle and a normal sized black mage appeared on top of a set of tables, crashing through them and likely wracking up a huge debt to Gezora. Celestia was exhausted from the strength it took to Warp them there, but she trusted that the others could handle the rest of the fite themselves, and allowed herself to pass out.

Gamera sat up.

"Hey. What did I miss?"

Garnet and Saberwulf's fist fite was getting rather intense. Garnet was riddled with bruises from Saberwulf's odd crocodilian hands, while Saberwulf took each blow from the woman with little fanfare. His clothes were layered and armored beyond reasonable standards, and Garnet's punches were doing more damage to her knuckles than they were to her opponent. Harry, Jumpropeman, and Walter had arrived just in time to find Saberwulf standing above a weary Garnet. Saberwulf kicked her down, rendering her unconscious a second before Harry had begun firing tranquilizers at her. Unfortunately, the tranqs hit Saberwulf instead. Saberwulf's eyes bugged out, but it couldn't be seen behind his goggles. Harry curses as the merchant falls down on top of Garnet, both of them out cold. Jumpropeman turns to Harry, wondering what the tranqs contained. Harry just shrugged.

Pech and Erebus fought in front of Existence, but by no means did she find it entertaining. She willed Rafflesia to move it elsewhere, and a sudden ripple in the ground pushed Erebus and Pech away from her view. Death caught Pech with her umbrella, somehow swinging the marine safely onto the ground with the parasol. The possessed Erebus growled as he found himself without an opponent. That anger didn't last long though, because he landed right on top of Harry, knocking the commando out with the shear weight of the marine. Erebus stands up, ready to fite Walter and Jumpropeman. Death and Pech run to join the fite, hoping to find a way to incapacitate Erebus without killing him.

Up high above the rest of the action, ROB considers the orb. The snakes around it were closing in, and it found this ball mostly useless so far.

So it slammed its head against it.

The ball erupted in a hail of thunderbolts.

 The entirety of Rafflesia felt the surge of electricity. The electricity flowed through its entire form, electrifying every being on the planet. Gezora was shocked awake, and found itself free from the essence's control. Apparently the essence abandoned it in favor of Erebus. Gezora crosses its arms, a little miffed from being deemed less useful, but its irritation turned back into pain as a second electric shock reached it.

The electric current had run directly into Existence through her hair, and also shocked the baby Life. Every being in the universe felt the shock of ROB's attack, and the universe briefly had a flash of lightning appear across every spot in existence simultaneously.

Erebus fell to his knees, the shock of ROB's attack weakening the essence's grip on him. Walter quickly scrawled a new symbol on Erebus, but it appeared to be too late. The essence had no use for Erebus after that shock. Erebus was just a husk, the essence using the marine's resilience as a way to endure the shock itself.

The shock had prevented Rafflesia from moving briefly though. Meat Boy saw his chance. He began bouncing off walls of Rafflesia's flesh, moving around constructs struggling to retain form after the shock. The bag of rocks was abandoned mid-bounce, crushing a snake head that pushed through the pain to try and stop the meat cube. The meat cube landed in the lap of the weak Existence. She looked at Meat Boy.

"Hello little one. Would you like to meet my child?"

Existence handed Life to Meat Boy. Everyone in the universe felt the slight pressure of stubby arms against their back as Meat Boy stared down at the baby who embodied all of life. Meat Boy literally held the life of everyone in his hands.

Rafflesia flipped out. The entire planet turned inwards, all rushing towards the tiny meat cube holding Life. The other fiters tumbled towards the center as the planet formed into numerous beasts within a fleshy sphere to try and kill Meat Boy. The faces of the beasts were about to strike when Existence raised a hand and her voice.

"RAFFLESIA! STOP THIS INSTANT! He just wants to meet my child. Don't be rude."

Rafflesia stopped. No matter what, it always obeyed its master. The essence screamed for Rafflesia to move, but it was nowhere near as strong as Existence. Existence sensed the struggle of the alternate form of herself. She reached one hand into Rafflesia, pulled out the essence, and it disappeared. Existence formed a new version of herself and sent the pure clone into the alternate timeline.

Rafflesia was calm. Meat Boy, with his purity, allowed Existence to break the manipulative control of the essence infected Rafflesia. The calmness of a mother beat out the corruption of a god.

 The others stared in disbelief. Death was the first to regain her composure.

"I guess that's the end of that. I'd like a private discussion with Existence and Life, so if you all can leave soon, that would be great."

Pech pointed out that Erebus, Garnet, Designate_5 and the Sheep were lifeless husks after the essence left them.

"They aren't dead. They are husks, their lifeforces sent elsewhere. You'll find someway to revive them, for it is not their time."

The group solemnly gathered the husks, as well as the unconscious Harry and Saberwulf. Walter, Pech, ROB, Gezora, and Jumpropeman gathered together and looked towards Meat Boy. Meat Boy tried to hop down, but Existence caught him.

"Don't you want to stay and play with my baby."

Meat Boy did his best to politely refuse, but Life began to cry. The universe began to shake and become unusually humid. Meat Boy hopped back into her lap and began to cradle Life. The universe turned back to normal. Existence patted the meat cube, as he morosely looked towards the group. Jumpropeman asks if they should just leave, and both Death and Meat Boy agree.

Jumpropeman's bell rings, taking the fiters and husks back to the bar. All except Death and Meat Boy.

Bargoers clamor about the group, specifically the four husks. RedSpy asks where Meat Boy is.

Gezora speaks as it walks towards the showers.

"Meat Boy made the ultimate sacrifice for all of us. Meat Boy must play with a baby for the rest of eternity."

Gezora turns on the shower.

"Gezora hates the stink of sentient planets."

Widow Maker thinks of quipping about the useless ref, but now is not the time. The fite was over and won, but not everyone had made it back alive...